Writer: Joe Kelly
Artist: Chris Bachalo
Here we are again.
Another issue of the ironically named satellite series. Honestly I’m starting to feel bad for this book. There’s obviously issues behind the scenes relating to Covid and creator health, and I wish everyone well. That being said my experience with the book on Comixology has been just bizarre as well. I’ve been using Comixology since DC launched the New 52 (two reboots ago) and I have never had any issues…until Non-Stop Spider-Man. Last time, the book came out a week early. Odd, but not a problem really. This time, I received my E-mail telling me the next issue was ready for download and I open it to find…Heroes Reborn: Young Squadron. Another false start for poor Non-Stop Spider-Man. Seven hours later the book was finally uploaded and ready to read, but I can’t shake the feeling this book is jinxed.
Depth of Field: This issue is a chase scene. Spider-Man and Norah run from the Zapata Brothers until they don’t.
Focal Point: Picking up from where we left off, Spider-Man and Norah continue to run away from the now super smart Mexican wrestler stereotypes in a monster truck.
Spider-Man and Norah split up, then regroup, then split up again, then regroup. Along the way Spider-Man rescues some civilians and references “old movies”. It’s now 616 canon that Peter gets his fighting strategies from the films he’s seen. Thanks MCU…still it’s better than Activate Instant Kill mode.
Ultimately Norah reveals to the Zapata brothers that they are working for Racists who target people of color and they agree to turn on their mystery employer. Why did Zemo use them in the first place? He must have access to a Hyrda phone book. Was Crossbones unavailable? (Seriously – was he, I’ve not seen him in a while). Unfortunately before the wrestlers can give any useful information they are incapacitated. Much like the Grinch’s heart, their brains grow in size and not only burst out of their head but keep growing to make the sidewalk and surrounding area look like a trampoline park. This was a full page of art I never thought I would see. How is a book about intellect this dumb?
My opinion on the art hasn’t changed. The editors seems to be listening to the feedback and acknowledges it’s hard to follow as arrows have been added to help the reader move along the page. However that doesn’t excuse panels like this (left).
Photobombed: This book is a train wreck. It literally features a train wreck. Our feelings on the book captured visually within the pages. Though the train driver is more forgiving than I am.
Negative Exposure: I think my feelings on this issue and the series as a whole are clear to those who have been following my reviews. Where once I had high hopes, now I just have frustration. I also read the latest issue of Amazing Spider-Man today, and there is no comparison. I was on the edge of my seat reading that issue, wondering what was going to happen next and how the complex stories are going to crossover and move forward, while in Non-Stop we are given the continuation of a fight scene that really should have been resolved last issue. Shouldn’t Non-Stop Spider-Man have momentum?
When I didn’t think this book could disappoint me any further, a Non-Diegetic Spider-Man webs a “four” and an arrow at the bottom of the page. Suggesting if I turn the page I will find the next chapter. I didn’t. The creative team and editor are so confident I have dropped this book already and decided to wait for the trade they are now constructing the issues with the trade in mind.
Grade: D. Cancel this book, relaunch Spectacular, Friendly or Web Of…after such a rocky start, can this book be salvaged?
I forgot to mention, I really like the cover. I’m not normally a David Finch fan, and it has nothing to do with what happens in the book, but it looks great.
Zoom In:
What did you think of Non-Stop Spider-Man? Let me know in the comments!
• Adam (alias AdamBParker)
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@adam
I’ve been picking every issues so far. It’s dumb fun. Emphasis on the dumb. But it’s clearly no ASM (at least current ASM). I plan on keeping picking it up at least until the end of the first arc.
The faces are indeed pretty weird, but I always HATED bachalos’ faces so I may be biased there.
@ Sthenurus I think you mentioned the art in print looked better before so I did go and pick up issue one again. I would agree with you. The action is certainly presented better the print. Unfortunately the faces are still “grinch”-like.
Have you been picking up every issue? Are you enjoying the series?
I do prefer print on the whole, but don’t have a local shop at the moment. I don’t want to delay the review so go the digital route.
Thanks for commenting.
Great review. The “story” (if one can call it that) is moving at a slug pace… Ironic for a title based around energy!
However I believe you are doing yourself a disservice by reading it on a tablet or a phone. Reading it on paper make it feels like you are reading the storyboard for a Saturday morning cartoon. Don’t get me wrong it’s still dumb but it flows really well and you can almost feel the energy jumping off the pages!
On a side note I love how Pete’s Spidey sense is depicted in this book!
@Aqu – thanks for your comment.
You’re not wrong, the B-title Spider-Man book is always a hard sell. It needs to have its own identity, but not step on the toes of Amazing.
I thought the last two (Zdarksky’s Spectacular and Taylor’s Friendly Neighbourhood) gave us a different prospective on Spider-Man and were relevant additions. At the moment this has no depth and so will likely go forgotten by this time next year.
Nice review, I like how you framed it, makes me feel bad for not giving it a look before (but I try to avoid spoilers for stories I still have not read).
I never had any expectations from this book, since its announcement I thought it was an unnecessary and silly idea… But I’m not happy to have been right. ^^’
@Evan. Thank you. That comment alone has made the experience worth it. I honestly asked for this book because I have enjoyed work by Kelly and Bachalo in the past, but the stars have not aligned on this book.
Adam Tomlinson — I really appreciate your review, especially how you were willing to suffer through all of that to give it to the Crawlspace. Thank you on behalf of all of us. I guess they started with the best part (the cover), and then it was downhill from there. Fitting, for a book supposedly about picking up speed.
Ironically, it kind of makes me eager to read your next review just to see if it can get any worse. I apologize in advance.