Stories used to actually end at “the end,” but that’s not how we do things in the Marvel age of comics. It’s epilogue time! As you might expect, ASM #673 is essentially just for a lot of loosely connected “aftermath” scenes. There are some nice moments to be found, and plenty that’ll be quite relevant to the future, but I’d rather see a story’s loose ends get tied up, you know, in the story…
Spider Island Epilogue: Naked City
Words by Dan Slott
Pencils by Stefano Caselli
Colors by Frank Martin
Letters by Joe Caramagna
It’s the morning after everyone in New York City turned into giant spiders, and everyone knows they’re in a comic book. Okay, we’re not talking Deadpool-levels of awareness here, but it’s borderline, and as someone who got into webcomics as a teenager, I can confidently say I would prefer never to read “har har, we’re in a comic” jokes again. Acknowledging that people mysteriously still have glasses and headbands despite being otherwise naked, and then explaining it with “we live in a world where Hulk grows ten times his size and his pants stay on” sort of falls flat when you consider that Slott could have just not written the glasses and headbands in the first place. I read this as an acknowledgement of how over the top this event has been, and a little attempt at justification. It didn’t work on me.
But I do have to admit, there’s a sense of calm that I found pleasant while reading through all these little scenarios. Switching from Ramos to Caselli for this issue really helped with that, and I’m not just saying so because I find Caselli’s art infinitely more appealing. His solid anatomy, clean lines and ability to be expressive without exaggerating are all far more suited to the subdued tone of the epilogue compared to the main event’s nonstop action. And I have to specifically mention his rendition of MJ in this issue, which I think is top notch adorable.
I Really, Really, Really (Really) Hate Clones
Part of what bugs me about this whole epilogue business is that we didn’t need most of it to know what’s going on. All things clone, for example, were predictable. Did anyone actually think that the Jackal was dead? It’s not just a meaningless question in the context of the story, it’s meaningless from a reader’s perspective too. The character has reached a point where he is literally impossible to kill. I don’t mean it would be impossible for Spidey to kill him, I mean even a writer could not do it. He will literally never again be anything but an expendable clone in any appearance, regardless of whether anyone believes otherwise.
Everybody knew that Kaine was going to be the new Scarlet Spider, so the setup we got for that didn’t accomplish much either. One thing I did find entertaining about this scene was the notion that Kaine can’t hang around in New York because the Avengers know he was a “stone-cold killer.” Yeah, the Avengers have never had anything to do with killers, right? Snikt!
At any rate, it really defies logic in a way only Marvel can accomplish that Kaine’s the one doing this. Similar to the arbitrary accessories folks kept at the beginning of the issue, it’s almost like the creative team is manufacturing a problem just so they can comment on it here. Kaine can’t stay because he was Kaine, even though he’s now Ben Reilly. So… why isn’t he Ben Reilly? Is there any point in asking anymore? I just want to know why everyone at Marvel thinks it would kill them to give fans what they want for once, instead of half what they want but with a twist. I don’t even care about this because I’m not one of the Ben fans who’s been clamoring for his return, but I do know their pain. This bothers me on principle.
I Know I’m Forgetting Something…
It would be unsportsmanlike of me to express glee over Carlie, right? It just feels like gloating at this point. To be honest, I was actually a bit of a doubter. I thought that Slott was going to pull some crap out of nowhere to keep Peter and Carlie together, and I was pleasantly surprised that he handled it the way he did.
I truly believe this needed to happen in as non-biased a manner as I can. Yeah, I hate Carlie as much as everybody else, but I’m going to pretend I don’t for a second to say this: Slott, thank you. Thank you for giving this character enough credit after all the times you’ve tried to convince us of her greatness. Thank you for writing a member of Peter’s supporting cast as smart enough to put it all together, and not to accept any ridiculous excuses, and to show the proper indignance at being lied to by someone who’s supposed to be close to her.
Do I believe that this means we’re entering a new era of properly addressing all the problems that this steadfast obsession with the secret identity has created? Well, no, I won’t go that far. But this is a step forward. It’s an acknowledgement, for once, that Peter really should not be able to get away with this. I’m not even going to get started on the towering inanity of the excuse we were given for how the “mind wipe” spell was “weakened.” By now, I’m so used to Spidey’s creative team giving me magical crap that makes no sense and ignores continuity that I just can’t muster the energy to care.
I Was Wondering When You Were Going to Bring This Ride to a Complete Stop.
If it seems like this review is a bit meandering, it’s because it is. There’s more to be said, I suppose. Madame Web is still Madame Web, with all of the mystical nonsense that includes. A construction worker stops Spidey to admit that he understands now, “you’re no different from me or anybody else,” in what I thought was a genuinely touching if not particularly necessary scene. Peter grabs a cure from Horizon from MJ, and while it’s nice to end with the two of them side by side again, the thrill of that only worked on me once—sorry Slott, no more easy As outta me! The fact is that there’s just not very much actual story here, so if my review’s a disjointed collection of scenes, it’s just rolling along at the issue’s pace.
But there is one thing that caught me enough to serve as a closer. I couldn’t help but smile when Peter dismissed the notion of using the cure on himself without the slightest hesitation. I was successfully misled into thinking that was what he’d grabbed it for, and that I was going to have to put up with yet another dramatic Spidey-almost-quit scene. It wasn’t his words that I found so inspiring. It was that, as frustrating as things seem sometimes, it’s nice to know that Marvel’s let this character retain at least some of the progress he’s made over the decades.
Pros:
- After six straight issues of Ramos, getting Caselli on the book is a welcome relief.
- Everything about the long-overdue truth and breakup scene was handled perfectly.
- Mostly just unnecessary fluff to drag Spider Island on for one more issue.
- That stupid Hulk joke.
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@#15
Apparently it was so stupid that it bothers a LOT of people… kind of like OMD and everything it caused, I guess.
@#14
I’ve seen many people on this site and on other forum/board complain about the psychic blindspot. It seemed to be the majority. And no, they are not speaking for everyone. I was just answering to all the nay sayer.
@#9
Who was complaining about the psychic blindspot, and are you saying they speak for all of us?
@Erik: I didn’t mean to say you hate SI just to be a hater. If it’s the impression i gave I’m sorry. As for not enjoying the direction, I have been disappointed at best in ASM ever since OMD (I still rage about it), not because of what was done, but because of how it was done. What i liked in Spider-Island is that i tough it was well done. Carlie’s break up makes much more sense than “giving my mariage to save my aunt that i already see die even if she was an actress”. And on the fun part: everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. Yours is as good as mine 😉 I enjoyed it a lot, and since I’m following Venom And Aran- Sorry Spider-Girl, I didn’t miss much and was able to follow the story pretty well. That might be a biais on my part tho.
#9 – I appreciate your thoughtful challenge. Before I respond though, did you read my review of the previous issue? It was very positive! I just want to make sure you know I’m not out to simply criticize anything Slott and the team do.
I think it’s easy to see me and a lot of other fans as impossible to satisfy right now because some of us simply flat out don’t like the approach taken by the creative team. I’m glad about much of what’s happened as a result of Spider Island and I hope it means I’m going to be happier about where the books go in the future. But, the event method of storytelling is just a straight up bad one in my opinion, because it relies on drawing stories out artificially and purposefully inserting plot holes to encourage purchasing tie-ins. So to me, a “good” event will probably still wind up being a bad story. As for this issue, the reason why I did not feel I could rate it any more highly is because I felt that all the loose ends tied up here were intentionally left open purely so Marvel could get us to buy a 7th issue, making this ultimately just filler. Check out Brian’s comment though – he actually liked the exact approach I’m complaining about here, so it’s not like crawlspacers are hiveminding negative nancies.
One thing I would contest though – I’ve heard this “fun” argument made almost every time I’ve seen someone praise SI. Once someone even told me I “hate fun” because I didn’t like the event. I’m never quite sure what to make of this. To me, I’m having fun if I’m reading a good story and enjoying it. The story may be lighthearted and funny, it may be dramatic or maybe it could even be downright dark and depressing, but if it’s a good story I’ll be enjoying myself which I would equate with “fun.”
@Donovan – hey man, appreciate the compliment, but I don’t see us as competition! I was enjoying your stuff before I got here and I still am.
I really enjoyed this issue, I thought it wrapped up Spider-Island nicely while setting up the future of the book. Spider-Island accomplished the following for me: gave Spider-man his spider-sense back, got rid of the “blind spot”, got Peter and MJ closer then they’ve been in a while, set up the return of (a) Scarlet Spider, and broke up Peter and Carlie. I’m very happy with all of those things.
The one thing I’m really wondering about now is the Carlie thing, I find it hard to believe they will just let her be out there knowing Pete’s secret without them being together. I know they did that with MJ, but it’s completely different in that MJ knew before they were together and they obviously had a stronger and much longer relationship. I’m wondering if Carlie isn’t going to be killed (Peter’s loss mentioned by Madam Web perhaps?). Otherwise they might get back together which I really don’t want.
@9 Sthenurus… thanks for reminding me… I love the little ‘snikt’ jab at Wolverine being on the Avengers, well played Erik
Sometimes, i really wander how you guys can be satisfied. The psychic blindspot crap is gone but you are complaining. Peter and Carlie are broken up, but you are complaining. Ben is (sort of) back and you are complaining. A spidey book is fun and not dark and grim and you are complaining. MJ seems to be back as the main love interest and your complaining. Really?
I LOVED Spider-Island. It was fun, over the top, somewhat self-contained and had only great tie ins (except for the avnegers one shot) It was a textbook exemple on how to do an event. The story itself was fun (how many FUn story did we get lately from a spider-man book), we got what we wanted (see above), and everything was done in a way that fits the character. Beside, Carlie giving peter the “you are spider-man, peter is a mask” talk contrast MJ “you are Peter first and foremost” talk from last issue, which does WONDERS to show who gets what are web head is all about. As said in the review, Carlie get a proper send off, and so does the story. Finally, maybe Kaine got an image of what the Avengers are supposed to be (which technically means wolverine shouldn’t even be considered in this team, thanks Bendis)
I actually enjoyed this issue a good bit. It was possibly my favorite issue of Spider-Island, actually. After reading issue #7 of Fear Itself where they just crammed everything into the last comic it felt nice to see a comic completely devoted to wrapping things up in a neat package.
One of my big questions with this series was Peter announcing his spider-powers to the world and its effect on the blind spot so I’m really glad they covered that.
As far as Carlie goes, I’ve gone on record to say I like her and think she gets the short end of the stick because she was ‘forced’ on the fans and it can be too over the top with her ‘perfectness.’ A lot of that isn’t her fault, and it’s really unfair to compare her to MJ. I don’t need them to be in a relationship, but this break up just seemed to come out of nowhere. They spent a loooong time setting Carlie up to become Peters girlfriend and all of a sudden Peter just forgets about her and they break up. I’m glad it wasn’t drawn out, but it just seems like not as much thought went into ending the relationship as it did in starting it, and that feels kind of like Slott throwing up the white flag for the sake of the disgruntled fans, and that annoys me.
Also, Caselli on art was fantastic. Really wish we had him for the whole run of Spider-Island.
Someone in editorial behind the scenes finally decided that the Carlie Cooper character was a lost cause. And even here she’s dim — she wasn’t Peter’s wife so she had no right to know, she hadn’t even been his official girlfriend in comic-book time for very long, as a police forensics investigator she ought to know about such things as “deep cover”, and should should be able to grasp that Spider-Man’s enemies are super-dangerous psychopaths who would like to attack his loved ones.
The psychic blind spot was weakened? How long has that been happening? Carlie’s been putting 2 & 2 together for some time now, before Spider-Island started rolling.
Personally, I think MJ would work great as a spider-themed superhero girlfriend. Or, more properly, Peter’s wife! But they still need to resolve the tensions created by OMD.
I feel bad for Carlie now, after seeing that panel of her with tears in her eyes.
“He will literally never again be anything but an expendable clone in any appearance, regardless of whether anyone believes otherwise.”
To be fair, how many times has Nick Fury been a Life Model Decoy, or Dr. Doom been a Doombot? It’s come to a ridiculous point, but people still read about them.
“Peter Parker is just a suit”? Inspired by Rachel Dawes end speech from Batman Begins? Or that line is older than that movie script?
Man, you are good! Talk about competition!
Have not read this yet. Anything happen with Brock and Flash in this issue?
I enjoyed the jokes at the beginning, I don’t mind Comic Awareness, either in Deadpool form or this type of humor.
Good points on Carlie and Jackal, I’m really enjoying your little analyses of things in your reviews.
Has Quesada actually loosened his iron grip on this book? Will Slott finally be allowed to spread his wings and fly?