33 Comments

1. @Evan Berry – More Puddin’! The fans have demanded it!

2. @hornacek — This might sound dumb, but knowing that your cat will appear in the header with the comic every review really just made my day. I’m so happy.

3. @AC – I first read all of the old Spidey issues through Marvel Tales – those were my Masterworks/collections.

4. I actually bought that off a spinner rack back in the day. I had a run of those Marvel Tales issues, that was how i first read all those early adventures.

5. @ac – I was waiting to hear that that AF #15 was really a Marvel Tales reprint.

6. I think expecting a girlfriend to have amazing fantasy 15 is setting to high a standard. I’m willing to accept a woman who has any one of the first 40 or so issues of Amazing.
   Assuming of course, that she didn’t buy it off a spinner rack when it first came out…
   I’m old, but not that old.

7. @Robin MB – Thanks for the compliment. One of the benefits of these reviews is “we read the book so you don’t have to.”

   I have no idea what Ace Attorney is – I just Googled “J’Accuse” and chose the first image that wasn’t some 1890s newspaper front page. I just wanted an image of someone overdramatically pointing a finger at someone.

8. Woah nice review! Congratulations on the new position. I’m so out of touch with the series I honestly had no idea we were at #28 already. I liked the Ace Attorney image you used too not enough recognition for that game

9. @Chi-Town Spidey –

   A room in a home assigned to just a dog sounds like a great idea. I assume there are chew toys everywhere.

   Canada has repeatedly apologized for the wildfires and smoke they created, just like we’ve apologized for Bryan Adams and Celine Dion.

   I am just glad that you and Dark Mark are still talking. We at the Crawlspace are all pulling for this bromance to pull through!

   Mark did message me before I finished my review telling me that he loved the issue and would have given it a higher grade, but I was worried that he was just trying to get inside my head and trick me into thinking that this was a good issue and I should grade it higher than I wanted to. I thought he was just “hazing the new guy”.

   I was going to include a section about the Letters’ Page but my review was already long enough so I left it out. But yes, most of those letters were ridiculous. As far as the proposal one … guys, get yourself a girlfriend that will buy you Amazing Fantasy #15 as a proposal gift. I hope that Spidey-proposal goes better than the one in the PS4 game.

   Thanks for the compliments. I was worried that the guy whose position I had taken over was going to show up at the office, half-drunk, bad-mouth me, and have to be escorted out by security.

10. @Evan Berry – Thanks for the compliments.

    The people have spoken! Due to overwhelming demand, my header image will always be a picture of my cat with the issue being reviewed

    Thanks for those grammatical corrections – if no one points them out, I’ll never learn. Neither Word nor the review editor picked up on “bring” not being “brings. As for “trojan” instead of “Trojan”, all the words in comics are uppercase so it’s just natural for me to “translate” them to lower-case when writing a review.

    The captions for some of the panels just came naturally as I was writing the summary. They didn’t fit into the “What I liked” and “What I didn’t like” sections but I still wanted to include them. It’s just ridiculous that Peter was fixing metal tentacles and he dressed like a doctor. Was his facemask to prevent infection? Was he afraid of breathing on the tentacles? Wouldn’t a welder’s mask have been more appropriate?

    Hopefully Otto just wants revenge and never thinks about doing another mind-swap ever again.

11. Whew! Hey Craig, great review, I would have commented on here much quicker, but you do you realize how much you actually get done when you DON’T read ASM?! First I demolished a room in my garage that was just an eye sore (like this ASM run), not sure WHY the people before me decided to put a room assigned to just their dog, but they did. It had a light, electrical outlets, and a window in in. I didn’t want to strain myself on their logic on WHY this was built, however I did strain my back tearing it down. Then I added new handles to my kitchen cabinets, some of them came out cockeyed, but oh well. I blamed the manufacture on that one. One evening I saw a orange sun and asked myself “Why is that orange?” My neighbor told me because of the smoke from the Canadian fires. “Oh crap, Hornacek’s review!”

    First, I hope you are okay. Second, I asked Dark Mark to let me know right when your review went up. I know, it was a mistake, I really should have known better when he replied “Absolutely, I’ll make sure you are the FIRST to comment on his review!!” I didn’t read the issue, but I read your review and you did great! I will just agree to your grade, Mark however (as always) went overboard on his grading. I guess seeing Wells write Doc Ock, is better then reading a “Slotto Dantavious” version. The rest of the stuff looks all garbage to me. I did take a look at the letter’s section and hope that girl (Katie is it>) accepts that guys proposal. Ironic really, he proposes to his girl in a letter section to a comic series that editorial refuses to support marriage/family atmosphere. They can pass the issue out as party favors.

    Anyways, you are doing a great job Craig! Keep it up! Let me play with some ideas and I’ll see if I can get a banner going for ya. I tried to do one for Mark, he didn’t use the logo I made for him (he loved it btw), however…he used a cosplay image of me. I swear, I’ll never understand that man’s logic.

12. @hornacek — I really enjoyed this review! I, for one, would love it if your header image is always your cat with the issue to be reviewed. (You could also work Puddin’s name into the column ala “Comic bookin’ with Puddin'” or “Puddin’s Picks”) Incidentally, when I was a kid the local grocery store had a cake in the bakery section that was made to look like a cat sitting like that, so I grew up always referring to cats in that position as “sitting like a birthday cake.”

    Only because you asked for grammatical corrections, I will simply say that you’re lacking subject-verb agreement in the sentence “Jonah bring Ock’s old tentacles to Oscorp so Peter can put them back together again.” Also, the “t” in Trojan should be capitalized. That’s all that I noticed. You’re welcome!

    You’re really good at coming up with captions for panels and for interjecting appropriate pop-culture memes and such.

    I wonder if Otto’s intention with Norman next issue is to take over his brain and become the Greatest Goblin®. God, I hope not.

    I echo ac’s sentiments in welcoming you to the review side of Crawlspace. Now Chi-Town gets to comment on your reviews, and we’ll see how you like it! Seriously, though — great job on your first review, and I look forward to the next one!

13. @Michael – I guess that kind of makes sense. I had heard there was a gorilla fight in the FCBD issue. But I would say your average reader (hey, that’s me!) did not read that story, so it’s up to this story to tell the reader this information – either in expository dialogue, a flashback, or an editor’s box. To no do so just looks bad.

14. @Sthenurus – Thanks for the feedback.

    I don’t know why the tentacles developing sentience bothers me – I have no reason for it. It just does. So I freely admit that my negatives about this issue may not be a negative for most people. In my opinion, these tentacles were never supposed to be androids or robots or anything with a semblance of a brain. They’re just tech. It’s like if my stove suddenly became sentient and started acting like a puppy.

    Yeah, SSM is to Doc Ock as OMD’s psychic mindwipe is to Peter Parker. It was probably come up with by Marvel without thinking out the problems it creates, but the more you think about it, the more problems it creates.

    I can understand old Norman getting away with his previous crimes when he returned from Europe because he planned for months/years about how to get away with that. He worked long and hard to avoid jail time and convince everyone he was never the Green Goblin. But for the Queen Goblin death, it was like he fully expected to be charged, or at least have the authorities question him. But he seemed shocked that he killed someone (in self defense? I didn’t read GG) and there appears to be no consequences.

15. @Hornaceck- He means Spider-Man. In the FCBD issue, Kraven arranged for a fight between Spider-Man and a drugged gorilla, and used the fight to steal the spider-bomb. (I don’t know why they couldn’t just have explained this on the recap page- isn’t that what recap pages are for?)

16. To be brutally honest… That was a great review!

    I agree with you on the grade. C+ is just right. Not a terrible issue, but nothing outstanding either.

    The tentacles developing sentience doesn’t bother me. Probably happened independently from doc ock. These things are so advanced I can believe they could become sentient on their own

    The SSM thing as been a sore sticking point since the end of volume 2. It didn’t make sense then, and it doesn’t make sense now. It was just a (very ugly) way to reset doc ock to the way he was. They even used the same bullcrap as one more day, so they don’t have to justify it either .

    Norman walking away thanks to his lawyer is nothing new. He faked his death but got away with it. He was known to be a serial killer but was handed the keys to shield. The marvel universe seem to have a very lax policy when it comes to rich megalomaniac and forgiveness.

17. @Sam – Thanks. I will aim for my reviews to be better than the issues I review, which sadly enough, shouldn’t be too hard in this current run.

    Make this more difficult for me, Zells!

18. @Franz29 – Thanks for your kind words.

    I agree that in most other ASM runs this issue would not look as good, but compared to the last few issues it looks great.

    Regarding the confusion with Otto, if they didn’t want him to remember Peter being Spider-Man anymore then they should have had him forget everything about Superior SM. There should be no way he remembers that happening to him without remembering that he was in Peter Parker’s body. If he remembers being Superior SM, does he remember all of the other hours of those days when he was just Peter Parker walking around doing Peter Parker stuff?

    It’s sad when MJ or Felicia not appearing is a plus, but that’s where we are now.

19. @Michael – When GG’s armor breaks, Ock says “Pity your stooge allowed one of his spider-bombs to come into my possession.” Who does he mean by “stooge”? Does he mean Peter, or Spider-Man? Please don’t make me dig ASM #900 from the pile to answer this question.

    First, I never believed that Ock ever wanted to be a good man. Even when he was trying to save his ex-girlfriend from AIDS (in the Obituary For An Octopus story in SM Unlimited) it was a selfish goal to save the life of someone he cared about – not to save everyone from this disease. And his “conversion” in ASM #700 when he tells the dying Peter that he will be a hero, within issues he is murdering people.

    So even if you accept that the tentacles represent a part of his personality, they should still be narcissistic and egotistical and evil. By telling us they actually want to be good and are going to Jonah’s because they miss him and want to act like a stray dog – no, just .. no.

20. @Brad – Thanks, boss!

21. Good job Craig, I look forward to reading your reviews along with Dark Mark’s as we move on.

    I liked this issue, probably a C+ (or B- if I’m really generous), but I can’t help feeling that’s due to recency bias – everything we’ve had since (and including the end of) Beyond has sucked for me as a Spidey fan. Sure some issues were better than others, but on the whole I haven’t liked them at all so it may be making me think this is better than it is.

    I agree with you on the confusion on what Otto recalls and doesn’t recall affects my reading of the issue. Then again, the whole deal with Mephisto (Doc’s, not Peter’s or Miles’s… oi vey) was a literal deus ex to end the story and wasn’t fleshed out well enough. Then again, that’s par for the course with current editorial so I guess I shouldn’t expect any better.

    No MJ or Felicia. At least out of sight means ZWells can’t screw either of them up any worse this issue.
    I am intrigued as to how it resolves so I suppose Wells is doing something right.

22. OK, I noticed a couple of things.
    Apparently, the tech Kraven stole from Peter was used to shut down Norman’s Gold Goblin armor, not to create Ock’s new arms.
    Ock’s dialogue implies that the original arms’s sentience might represent a part of his personality. OK, I could see them stopping rapes and murders by themselves if they represented the part of Ock that wanted to be a good man, for example. But why would they act like Jonah’s pet?

23. Great review, essentially better than the issue itself (I love it).

24. Great job man! So happy for you to take on reviewing ASM.

25. @Geiseric – It’s like Zells wanted to have Spidey and Black Cat be a thing, but that’s *all* he wanted.
    He didn’t want to do anything with the relationship, just have it exist. It’s funny that Joe Kelly’s 2 parter had more Peter/Felicia relationship content than all of Zells’ run.

    “Like I think this is one of the more incoherent comic book runs I’ve seen but not on an issue by issue basis but arc by arc.” Agreed. For example, the solicits talk about Randy and Janice’s wedding coming up like it’s the wedding of the year, and yet when’s the last time their wedding was mentioned? When’s the last time they themselves were in the book, or even mentioned? They appeared more in the recent mini-series set in California with the weirdo art than they have in the last year of ASM.

26. @Michael – I didn’t read the GG story but I got the gist that Norman was defending himself/others when he killed Queen Goblin. But the fact that his lawyers told him “You killed someone in public but the police aren’t going to charge you or even talk to you” is bizarre. Even Norman is surprised by this. And his assistant/lawyer says “That’s why you pay us. So you don’t have to worry yourself about it.” To me it this implied that was rich people’s lawyers getting away with stuff that poor people couldn’t afford.

    “Re: Kraven- In the FCBD issue, Kraven stole technology from Peter’s new suit and gave it to Octopus. Apparently. that was the technology Doc Ock used to create his Ocktoids.” That makes sense, but it would have been nice for them to add some expository dialogue or an editor’s box to explain this. Not everyone is going to read the FCBD story.

    “The reason why Ock hates Osborn is not just because of Osborn’s actions as the Goblin King but also because Osborn infected Ock’s ex-girlfriend with a virus that killed her slowly and painfully.” Yeah, I remember that Superior Spider-Man story that depicted this – their first meeting. I remember someone on the podcast at the time saying that Norman and Otto had never met/interacted with each other in all the years. Maybe this story will include that woman’s death, but this Norman seems only interested in revenge over the Goblin Nation stuff. If he goes into her death in the next issue that would be good continuity too. Fingers crossed!

    “Re: Ock- the usual explanation is that thanks to Mephisto’s spell, Ock remembers that he was Spider-Man and that he met Anna Marie in Spider-Man’s body but doesn’t remember Spider-Man is Peter-Parker.” This is as convoluted and ridiculous as the explanation of the psychic mind wipe when everyone forget Spider-Man was Peter. I remember on the podcast they discussed that everything still happened, but everyone just forgot that Spidey was Peter. They mentioned Deb Whitman’s book as an example – she still wrote it, about how dating Spider-Man ruined her life, except in all copies of the book now it doesn’t mention who Spidey really is, and Deb herself doesn’t know. Otto remembering SSM but not remembering who Spidey is under the mask makes just as much sense. He was SSM for months and wasn’t always in the costume all that time – what does he remember from the time he wasn’t wearing the costume? Does he think he was living some random person’s life but he can’t remember who it was? What about everyone “Peter” interacted with during this time? He obviously remembers Anna-Maria. Aren’t there public records that show that “Peter Parker” did all of the stuff that SpOck did in Peter’s body? Argh, I’m going cross-eyed again.

    “Ock DID know, however, in Amazing 900, to send the arms after Jonah to get Spider-Man. If he knew the arms had been going to Jonah, then he could have guessed Jonah would take the arms to Spider-Man.” But did Ock know that the tentacles had been going to Jonah? We see him confront the tentacles coming out of Peter’s apartment, not Jonah’s. As far as Ock knows, the tentacles have been spending time with Peter.

    “Re: the arms being sentient- we have seen the arms carry out commands before that Ock previously programmed into them even when Ock in no position to give them orders. In Amazing Spider-Man 296-297, when Ock is rendered catatonic, the arms start attacking anything that moves and Peter realizes that Ock programmed this into them in case of such a situation. And in Daredevil 165, when Ock is electrocuted and knocked out, the arms carry him to safety. But of course, that’s very different from them acting like a puppy.” Yeah, those times are what I described as the tentacles just trying to protect Ock, or get back to him. They’re acting as a defense mechanism.
    They’re not given a personality, which they are here. This change implies that ever since ASM #3 the arms have been “a good person” forced by Ock to do bad things. I just don’t like that.

27. I honestly feel like Black Cat is a joke I just don’t get, because just when you think this is the arc that will show you why he wanted her in the book she just disappears without doing anything, like I think not only would the book not be worse if she wasn’t here I think some plot points work better if she wasn’t here.

    Like I think this is one of the more incoherent comic book runs I’ve seen but not on an issue by issue basis but arc by arc.

    I know a lot of people are bad but I’m more baffled, but as a consequence you never know what is going to happen next

28. Re: Norman- he wasn’t charged with killing Queen Goblin because witnesses saw her menacing Peter when Norman killed her.
    Re: Kraven- In the FCBD issue, Kraven stole technology from Peter’s new suit and gave it to Octopus. Apparently. that was the technology Doc Ock used to create his Ocktoids.
    The solicits have Kraven showing up in issues 32-33, so presumably Kraven’s appearance here will tie into that.
    The reason why Ock hates Osborn is not just because of Osborn’s actions as the Goblin King but also because Osborn infected Ock’s ex-girlfriend with a virus that killed her slowly and painfully.
    Re: Ock- the usual explanation is that thanks to Mephisto’s spell, Ock remembers that he was Spider-Man and that he met Anna Marie in Spider-Man’s body but doesn’t remember Spider-Man is Peter-Parker.
    Ock DID know, however, in Amazing 900, to send the arms after Jonah to get Spider-Man. If he knew the arms had been going to Jonah, then he could have guessed Jonah would take the arms to Spider-Man.
    Re: the arms being sentient- we have seen the arms carry out commands before that Ock previously programmed into them even when Ock in no position to give them orders. In Amazing Spider-Man 296-297, when Ock is rendered catatonic, the arms start attacking anything that moves and Peter realizes that Ock programmed this into them in case of such a situation. And in Daredevil 165, when Ock is electrocuted and knocked out, the arms carry him to safety. But of course, that’s very different from them acting like a puppy.

29. @Mark – Puddin’ is sitting on a scratching pad. Just a bunch of corrugated cardboard. I had no idea if the cats would use it, but it was cheap and sure enough, they started tearing it up almost immediately. But she seems to like laying on it as much as she enjoys scratching it.

30. @ac – Thanks for the kind words. I stopped buying the book after ASM #700 so I relied on the reviews (both on the website and on the podcast) to keep me up to date on what was going on. I was so turned off by the idea of Superior Spider-Man that I refused to buy that series, but I knew (like everyone else) that it would eventually be undone, at which point I would start buying the book again. So I wanted to keep up to speed so I’d know what was going on.

31. @Mark – Rats, I was trying to do a bad job. Using reverse psychology, right? Then when I actually try to do a good job next time it would appear to be a HUGE improvement.

    The anthropomorphized tentacles was a big negative for me, otherwise I might have graded this issue similar to you. I just don’t like trying to give them a personality and make them cute. They’re inanimate objects that Ock has used to kill many people over the years. Don’t suddenly try to turn them into puppy dogs now that just want to be loved.

    I suspect that Norman and the old tentacles will eventually become besties. It’s the same old story – boy meets tentacles, boy hates tentacles, tentacles saves boy’s life, boy realizes that tentacles are actually the best – you know, that old chestnut.

32. Enjoyed reading the review! As someone who has stopped reading the issues shortly after the end of the Kindred stuff, (If Marvel says they don’t want older readers who read the book since the 80’s who am I to argue) I continue to read the reviews, hoping someday the Spidey I know returns to the comics. I’ll miss Chi town but I certainly understand why he left, but I found your review to be a fine addition. Good luck with the new gig, and hopefully, for both our sakes, the comics start to improve! (Or the main characters become recognizable again)

33. First!

    Holy moly! That was good. Crap! I’m going to have to up my game now. Thanks for that, Hornacek.

    I liked the issue better that you did. I’d say B+. Heck, I might even go A-. I am hoping the arms carried a Trojan Horse, because I like them better than Gog. Though, it may be more tragic if it was a Trojan horse and JJJ and Peter don’t believe it. Maybe Norman will become the only friend the arms have…

    By the way, is that a tiny litter box your cat is on? Don’t you guys have normal size litter boxes up there in Canada???