In this issue … it’s the end of the 8 Deaths storyline. Does Spidey die again? Will Blight-Callix be defeated? Does Cytorrak finally do *something*? Does Peter repair his relationships with all of friends and family after his recent emo-phase? Does any part of this magical story matter? Let’s all find out together.
(This is definitely appearing as an optional suit in the next Insomniac game, right?)
CREDITS
Writer: Joe Kelly
Penciler: Ed McGuinness
Inker: Mark Farmer & Cliff Rathburn
Color Artists: Ed McGuinness, Cliff Rathburn, & Marcio Menyz
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
PREVIOUSLY IN AMAZING SPIDER-MAN …
In the .DEATHS issue:
In ASM #69, while Juggernaut fought the Blight-infected X-Men, Blight-Callix attacked Cytorrak, and Cyra mourned Spider-Man, now dead with no magic reeds to revive him. But she learns the power of love(1) and makes a deal with Agent of Death Phil Coulson to trade her power and immortality to bring Spidey back to life, which he does, as a Juggernaut.
SUMMARY
Spider-Man – now the Spider-Naut – fights Blight-Callix, knocking him out of the Crimson Cosmos all the way to Earth – conveniently at the exact site of Juggernaut’s battle with the Blight-X-Men. Somehow this knocks the Blight out of the X-Men, because why not?
(At least Kelly didn’t have them both say “We’re the Juggernauts, bitch!”)
After Juggernaut and Spider-Naut bond over being fellow Juggernauts, Juggernaut does his version of a Fastball Special(TM) and throws Spider-Naut at Blight-Callix.
Spider-Naut is ready to continue fighting Blight-Callix, but Juggernaut convinces him that he and the X-Men can deal with Blight-Callix while Spider-Naut needs to take on the Blight itself.
Spider-Naut magically launches himself into orbit, right through the Blight.
(“Treuchet” is a funny word.)
Meanwhile, in the Crimson Cosmos, Cyra (now without her power and immortality) talks to Cytorrak, who finally speaks.
(Cytorrak breaking the fourth wall wondering why he’s in this story at all.)
Cyra explains to her father that he has lost six of his children and he is experiencing grief. He says that nothing can hurt him, but she says that he is broken because he did nothing to stop Blight-Callix, and that Spider-Naut might be able to stop his pain.
Meanwhile, in space (?), Spider-Naut realizes that he cannot stop the Blight but he can use magic to create a new casket, continuously, until he dies.
(This is what we all imagined Spider-Man’s final fate would be, right?)
Cytorrak appears, explaining that the Blight will eventually prevail, and asks why Spider-Man continues to fight. Spidey, forgetting about his multiple issue arc where he didn’t care about anything, explains that “today is worth fighting for”.
Spider-Man’s words cause Cytorrak to push Spidey out of the casket/ring that he was forming, and he takes his place – or becomes Atlas, holding the world on his shoulders (at this point we should say “it’s magic, we don’t have to explain it” every time we ask any questions about this story). He chooses to become the casket to stop the Blight, saving his remaining children.
(I do like how Spidey is in the middle of a big emotional speech and Cytorrak just interrupts him to shove him out of the way.)
Doctor Strange magically teleports Spider-Man back to Earth, where the battle is over. The X-Men leave, with Juggernaut saying he’ll take Callix back to his home.
With everything back to normal, things start to wrap up. Peter and Bailey Briggs attend Kenneth’s funeral, fulfilling my hope from the first two issues of this story that Kenneth would be an important part of the end of this story.
Peter apologizes to Aunt May and Felicia for his recent attitude, who accept his apology.
(“Sorry I was so awful to you, but here’s an apology where I don’t actually explain my behavior. We’re all good, right?”)
Callix is imprisoned by Cyra in the Crimson Cosmos.
(Actually, with Zells bringing Wayeb back, we can no longer assume any boring and useless villain will never appear again.)
Peter, Randy, and the supporting cast attend the debut of the gallery showing of Peter’s photographs (remember that?). Randy is upset that only Peter’s friends and family showed up, meaning no potential customers did, since he put up all of the money for this.
(In the next issue we should see that Randy is staying at FEAST because he has lost all of his money from this project.)
Peter apologizes to Shay, who accepts his apology, with them getting back together(2).
(I give them 3 months, tops.)
THE END!
Oh right, there’s a backup story in this issue!
Cash Grab(3)
Writer: Joe Kelly
Artist: Cafu
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Spidey is fighting some robbers on a flying platform who are throwing cash into the streets to cause chaos and prevent Spidey from catching them. Spidey takes this time to reflect on how he sucks at handling money and nothing in life is free. He manages to capture the robbers. Later while watching Jonah report on the story he learns that the majority of the bystanders returned the money to the bank. Peter laughs at this, remarking that he needs a job.
Review: Well, at least there was no magic in this “story”. There’s really nothing here to get excited or upset about. I guess it’s trying to show us the kind of “normal” Spider-Man stories we’ll get from Kelly’s run. Also, I guess Peter’s Oscorp severance is gone if he has so many unpaid bills and needs a job?
Grade: C
(Not Kelly – he’s the new ASM writer!)
INITIAL RESPONSE
Well, the 8 Deaths of Spider-Man story is over. Hopefully we’ll never have to mention this story again. Except on a future Spider-Jeopardy episode where the question is “Hey, anyone remember when Spider-Man used magic and fought all of those Inheritor knockoffs?”
A lot has been said about this being a follow-up on a story Kelly wanted to do during his X-Men run 30 (?) years ago. I don’t know what made him think that it would make sense to do that in Amazing Spider-Man. This never fit, or made sense, or felt like a story you would read in ASM.
But at least it’s over.
WHAT I LIKED
Spider-Naut and Juggernaut bonding over being juggernauts was kind of nice.
Cytorrak finally does something. Although this just highlights how ineffectual and pointless he has been through this entire story, so …
Cyra continues to be the MVP of this entire story, being the one to finally convince Cytorrak to act.
Spidey willing to sacrifice himself to cast a new casket to save the world is exactly the type of sacrifice Spidey would make. And after multiple issues of “nothing matters” Peter, his splash page speech to Cytorrak is pretty good.
(At least Spider-Boy wasn’t included in these Floating Heads of Guilt.)
This panel almost comes across as Kelly admitting that Spider-Man + magic does not make sense. Almost.
(“Thanks for showing up, Doctor Strange. You contributed nothing to this issue, but at least you were here.”)
The return of Ken! I told you in the first two issues that he would come back in the finale!
(RIP Ken.)
I will admit that I did laugh that no customers showed up at Peter’s photography showing. How exactly did Randy afford to put this on? What is his job exactly? Where does his money come from?
WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE
If you name a story “The 8 Deaths of Spider-Man” you probably should have Spider-Man die 8 times. If you don’t then you kind of missed the point.
Before this story all I knew about Cytorrak was that he was the source of Juggernaut’s powers. I didn’t have much of an opinion of him, but after this story, my opinion of him has plummeted. He does nothing for 9 issues and we finally find out that the reason was … he was sad??? And Cyra teaches him about loss and love and that’s what causes him to act? Ugh.
(“EXCEPT HUMAN FEELINGS OF LOVE AND LOSS!”)
Peter fixes all of his relationships with his supporting cast way too easily. Aunt May literally says nothing – she just accepts a generic apology without saying anything. This clearly shows that Peter’s supporting cast has such low self esteem that he can treat them like crap and then apologize and they’ll forgive him.
Blight-Callix was not interesting enough of an antagonist for this story, but at least they were an actual person. Making the real Big Bad of this entire story that Spidey has to “fight” in the finale be some cosmic force that doesn’t have a face, voice or personality … it reminded me of the Green Lantern movie(5). One of the many problems with that movie was the big villain was Parallax, who was basically a giant cloud. You really should have a villain that can speak and emote and interact with the hero. It’s like if the villain is a hurricane – you can’t really get a lot of a hurricane.
(Putting a head on a giant cloud does not make it an interesting antagonist.)
Considering all of the interactions Spidey had with Cyra, and how she literally sacrificed her immortality and powers to bring him back to life, it feels like there should have been some conversation with them after the Blight was defeated. Their conversations were high points of this story.
And finally, for the last time, the obligatory “this isn’t a Spider-Man story” complaint for this entire arc.
LETTERS PAGE SHENANIGANS
It’s worth noting that the majority of the letters agree with me by saying that Justina Ireland was the high point of this story and she should write more ASM issues.
WHAT THIS ISSUE MEANT OVERALL
For whatever reason, this 8 Deaths story convinced Nick Lowe that Joe Kelly was the one to be the next main writer on ASM. How low is the bar? Or it’s more likely that he is the only one to accept the restrictions that Editorial/Marvel put on any new ASM writer. But still, they looked at 8 Deaths and said “this is the writer we want for ASM”.
And, well, this story is finally over. Did it matter? Not really. But at least Joe Kelly finally got to write/resolve this story he wanted to do in X-Men ~30 years ago, so good for him I guess. And we got a few good Spidey moments here of him willing to sacrifice himself to save everyone. But … and maybe you haven’t heard this already … this was not a Spider-Man story.
GRADE
D+
I thought I was going to give this a C-level grade, but as I found myself scraping the bottom of the barrel for the “What I Liked” section, I realized it didn’t deserve a grade that high.
NEXT TIME, IN AN ALL-NEW ISSUE OF AMAZING SPIDER-MAN …
(I recognize everyone except the blue-skinned woman with 4 arms. Anyone know who this is?)
It’s an all-new number one! Yet another ASM volume! Because you demanded it!(4)
And because next issue is a #1, unless Brad gets another reviewer before it comes out, I will be back to review that issue. I mean, it is a number one issue.
While I am not expecting much, based on the cover we should be having more typical Spider-Man stories, now that Kelly has scratched this “magical itch”. So if we only get that, that will be an improvement over this story. So, cautiously optimistic?
FOOTNOTES
(2) Peter: “Oh, by the way, while we were apart, I hooked up with my old girlfriend. But we were on a break, so that’s ok, right? Right? Shay, where are you going?”
(3) Ah, I see what you did here, Kelly/Marvel.
(4) Narrator: “Nobody, in fact, demanded this.”
(5) If you had me make a list of which movies I would reference in one of these reviews to make a point, GL would not make the first 100 entries.
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@Evan Berry:
“A Huey Lewis and the News reference is always very much appreciated.” Throughout this story I was hoping (not expecting) for a reason why Cytorrak was doing NOTHING, and that we would get a valid reason for him finally acting (if he did anything at all). For the reason to be that he was sad makes no sense since we seem him doing nothing *before* any of this children are killed by Blight-Callix, which happens late in this entire story. So that makes no sense.
And while I liked that Cyra (the only interesting scion) was the one that finally convinced him to act, the fact that it was because of “the power of love” made me roll my eyes. Nothing that Cyra was saying to him seemed to be meaningful enough to get him to act.
The Huey Lewis reference really came from old episodes of the podcast (I wonder how many listeners have actually heard those episodes) where the panel was reviewing OMIT and (the late) Kevin Cushing said that Aunt May – who was shot – was able to be saved by … chest compressions. I can’t remember if it was Kevin or another panelist who said that it was “the power of love” that saved her, and the entire panel took that Huey Lewis reference and ran with it for years.
Hopefully we’ll never see Wayeb again. But there used to be a time where I could read an issue (or look back on an old issue) and confidently say “Well, that villain was a failure and they’ll never bring them back.” But then Zells brought Wayeb back, so I can never think that way again about any villain.
Luckily my LCS says that any delivery issues they were having for the past few issues have been resolved, so they should have the physical copy of the issue available for me from now on.
@Dark Mark:
“One deviation is just an anomaly. Two would be an act of God.” I feel like George has done a “Things That Suck” type of category also, or maybe I’m just imagining it.
“So, Peter got all that power and immortality of Roxanne. It’s gone now, right? How? Because he decided not to be the casket? Did I miss why he lost his power?” The issue does not explain why Peter suddenly loses his Spider-Naut powers. When he forms the casket that suit/armor is removed and we see him just in his normal Spider-Man suit (hey, no magical suit with the cape in this final issue!) so I guess when Cytorrak shoves him out of that new casket, the Spider-Naut suit/powers stay with the casket.
Also, doesn’t Peter still have all of these magic powers? He tells Strange that he never wants to do magic again, but he still knows all of the spells. We don’t know if Strange/Doom took away any magic powers at the end here. Do you need to have magic powers in order to cast the spells? Again, this issue isn’t interested in explaining that.
@Hornacek — I’m sorry I’m a little late getting to this review. This was a really good one, as always!
A Huey Lewis and the News reference is always very much appreciated. ‘Nuff said, except thank you for that.
Poor Cytorrak. The climax of this story reminds me of the end of The Neverending Story II, where (spoilers!) Bastian wishes that the villain Xayide (pronounced “Zai-ee-duh”) would have a heart, and that’s how the day was saved. No wonder the author, Michael Ende, wished to not have his name associated with it. At least this arc, unlike the aforementioned series, had an ending, right? That counts for something.
My other main takeaway from this review is in one of your captions, where I found myself stopping short and saying aloud, “Wait, Wayeb is returning? Aw, man.”
At least this issue makes a handy support for Puddin’ while she’s eating. I’m sure she was happy you could get the issue at your LCS this time so she could have a new picture taken. What a good kitty. As much as I appreciate your MS Paint skills, I know you must be glad, too.
One deviation is just an anomaly. Two would be an act of God.
So, Peter got all that power and immortality of Roxanne. It’s gone now, right? How? Because he decided not to be the casket? Did I miss why he lost his power? I certainly will not go back and reread the issue to find out.
@Dark Mark:
Thanks again for the kind words.
“I feel pretty safe on saying that as long as George is writing the Jeopardy questions we will never we this appear there.” I would have said the same about George never having a Clone Saga category, but we saw it happen (or was it just “Clones”?).
Awesome review as always, Craig. I thought your image captions to be especially good this review. I true to find the blue last, but failed, though I see Aqua succeeded. The genetic child of Deadpool and Spider-Man? Ugh. Ignorance was bliss. Thanks, Aqu@… 🙂
I feel pretty safe on saying that as long as George is writing the Jeopardy questions we will never we this appear there.
Awesome review as always, Craig. I thought your image captions to be especially good this review. I true to find the blue last, but failed, though I see Aqua succeeded. The genetic child of Dead pool and Spider-Man? Ugh. Ignorance was bliss. Thanks, Aqu@… 🙂
I feel pretty safe on saying that as long as George is writing the Jeopardy questions we will never we this appear there.
Thanks, I didn’t know if that was a new character or someone I just didn’t recognize. The Spider-Man/Deadpool series is a blindspot for me, I really should read it.
Sorry for not reading the review, but I’m quite behind in ASM.
I’m chiming in only to say that the blue woman with four arms is Itsy Bitsy from the Spider-man\Deadpool miniseries (by Kelly? iirc). She was like their genetic daughter or something.