Craig’s Critique: Amazing Spider-Man #60 (Legacy #954): “Hit The Road, Zeb” or “All [REDACTED] Things Must Come To An End”

The legal system fails yet again.  Tombstone gets a new look (but not the one I wanted).  Sandman gets a new hairstyle!  Aunt May confronts Spider-Man about her nephew’s safety, and then possibly figures out his secret identity?  Tombstone wins, but loses both White Rabbit and (gasp!) Kareem.  All this, plus … did somebody ask for backups?⁽¹⁾

(Yet another generic cover.  Although given this issue’s contents, that doesn’t surprise me.)

CREDITS

Writer:  Zeb Wells

Penciler:  John Romita Jr.

Inker:  Scott Hanna

Colorist:  Marcio Menyz

Letterer:  VC’s Joe Caramagna

 

PREVIOUSLY IN AMAZING SPIDER-MAN …

Spider-Man fought Tombstone.  Janice got away.  Spidey admits that he was not only saving Janice, but he was also saving Tombstone … from killing his own daughter.  Both Spider-Man and Tombstone collapse.

SUMMARY

Tombstone is back in court and the judge is upset that he used his time out on bail to fight with Spider-Man, and that the prosecution’s key witness – Janice – has left the city.  Tombstone’s lawyer, Michele Le⁽²⁾, mentions that Tombstone turned himself in after carrying an unconscious Spidey to the hospital.  The judge says that this battle (which he blames Spider-Man for), plus Janice’s disappearance, leaves him no choice but to dismiss the case.

(To paraphrase Kent Brockman, ‘I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … the legal system simply doesn’t work.”)

Outside the courthouse, Peter is complaining to She-Hulk about the dismissal when Tombstone tells Peter he has a message for Spider-Man:  that he got to the judge so Spider-Man will know that he actually won, fair and square, and to thank him (for preventing him from killing Janice).

(Saying this in front of only Peter would be a power move – it would be his word against his.  But saying this in front of another person (She-Hulk) – not smart.)

Later at the F.E.A.S.T. center, Aunt May is fussing over Peter’s visible injuries, telling him that working with Spider-Man will get him killed one day, when suddenly a new Jamaican villain attacks … oh wait, it’s the Sandman, sporting some new dreads.

(That one cop must be a supervillain superfan.  How do you see this and say “It’s William Baker” instead of “It’s the Sandman”?)

Sandman mentions that Spidey (when evil) had turned him into glass, and Spidey is about to do it again when Sandman grabs him, knocking the “turn Sandman into glass” device out of his hand.  In the confusion Aunt May picks up the device, which Spidey grabs from her and uses on the Sandman, exploding him into a million pieces.  Aunt May takes this opportunity to tell Spidey that Peter helping him has cost him so much, and begs him to leave her nephew alone.

(This moment would be more emotional if Aunt May – and everyone else – wasn’t being rained upon by pieces of Sandman’s exploded body.)

Spider-Man tells May that “Peter” chooses to help him because he wants to help, and that “Peter” couldn’t live without himself without helping people.  May accepts this and tells Spidey to be safe.

Later, in Harlem, Tombstone gets some bad news.  Not only is White Rabbit quitting his crew, she’s taking Kareem with her!

(In the next panel Tombstone is screaming “No!  Not Kareem!”)

In Queens, Peter is eating pizza with Aunt May making up an excuse about how he disappeared when Sandman attacked.  Aunt May stops him, saying that when he runs off it’s because “someone needs help”, and that somewhere, Ben is smiling.

And then this nice scene is ruined by Peter bringing up Shay, and May swears about the Sandman for no reason.  Because of course Aunt May would say this, right?  Right?

(Maybe it’s better that Zells barely used Aunt May during this run if he thinks this is how she would talk.)

THE END!

Oh right, once again, there are backup stories in this issue!

Doctor’s Orders
Words it:  Zeb Wells
Light Marks It:  Ed McGuinness
Dark Marks It:  Mark Farmer
Other Marks It:  Marcio Menyz
Words It Different:  VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis:  Spidey has taken Rek-Rap to a hospital (vet?) to get treated for some bruising on his heart (from being impaled with the Goblin Glider during the Spider-Goblin story).  Rek-Rap is fine and leaves (through the window) on the glider, leaving Spidey with a bill for $3,000.
Review:  Ugh.  Another Rek-Rap story.  Wasn’t he fine after his last appearance?  Why does he need to see a doctor now?  The only good thing here is that this was only 3 pages long.  And hopefully, unless McGuinness becomes a writer, we will never have another writer who chooses to use Rek-Rap.  Take him to Mandyville, please.⁽³⁾
Grade:  D-

(Is it just me or does this doctor/vet look like Otto Octavius?)

Team-Up:  Part 2⁽⁴⁾
Writer:  Zeb Wells
Artist:  Todd Nauck
Color Artist:  Rachelle Rosenberg
Letterer:  VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis:  Jackpot and Spidey are fighting the Die-Chromator⁽⁵⁾ at a rave.  Jackpot manages to spin the right symbols on her gauntlet⁽⁶⁾ that allows her to defeat him … while a mysterious figure with a spider-logo on their back watches from the distance.  Spidey and Jackpot report back to J. Jonah Jameson but have to leave because they’re late for their double-date with Paul and Shay.  Changed back into Peter and MJ, they arrive at the restaurant where MJ says that she’s having fun being Jackpot and double-dating with Peter (which is a totally normal thing for her to be saying).  She thanks him for saving him from the alternate dimension.  They enter the restaurant and join Paul and Shay, while a figure with a familiar looking wrist-gauntlet watches from outside.
Review:  Any story where they portray MJ as Jackpot where Peter is not worried at all about this is automatically getting a negative review.  I had hoped the end of this run would undo MJ being Jackpot, or her relationship with Paul.  This is why we can’t have nice things.  Also, MJ saying she’s having “fun” being Jackpot and double-dating with Peter makes no sense.  Nice artwork though.
Grade:  F (Jackpot + MJ/Paul + Peter/Shay?  No way around this grade.)

(Haha!  It’s funny because none of these people should be together!)

Bubs
Zeb Wells
Paolo Rivera
Letterer:  VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis:  Spidey hangs out with Wolverine in a bar on his (Wolverine’s) birthday.  Wolverine thanks him for this, as apparently this is something they do on his birthday every year.
Review:  This was the best of these backups and it’s not even close.  But there’s no story here – nothing happens.  They’re in the bar, the day is over, and they leave.  Also, I remember reading Wolverine comics where his birthday was the day when Sabretooth always found him – wherever he was – and attacked him.  Is hanging out with Spider-Man on this day a recent thing, or something Zells created for this story?
Grade:  B-

(No snarky comment.  I just like these two together.)

Same Spider Channel
Writer:  Zeb Wells
Artist:  Patrick Gleason
Color Artist:  Edgar Delgado
Letterer:  VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis:  Spidey is fighting Bushwacker⁽⁷⁾ when Chasm shows up to knock him out.  They change into Peter and Ben and go for some coffee.  Peter thanks Ben for saving him from TWD.  Ben tells Peter that he’s no longer obsessed with him anymore and wants to find his own life.  Forgetting about all of the people killed in Chasm’s Inferno debacle, Peter accepts this and they part amicably.  But then we see that it was Chasm watching Spidey and Jackpot fighting the Die-Chromator, and watching their double-date.  He reveals (to the reader) that he lied to Peter and that he still wants to take Peter’s life back.
Review:  Up until the last two pages I liked this backup.  It made sense for Ben’s development, given what we saw of him during the Queen Goblin story, and even in the Chasm:  Curse of Kaine series (what I’ve skimmed of it so far).  I hate Ben being Chasm, but he seemed to be getting over being a villain obsessed with Peter, and even helped him in recent stories.  And then all of that growth was flushed down the toilet just to turn him back into a villain obsessed with Peter again.  Ugh.
Grade:  F

(So much for character development.)

Ride Over
Writer:  Joe Kelly
Artist:  Mark Buckingham
Color Artist:  Edgar Delgado
Synopsis:  In a mostly dialogue-free issue, Spidey enters the Night Bank and stops Override⁽⁸⁾ from destabilizing the world’s financial system by defeating his henchmen and stealing their tech to build “a micro-field electrical impulse generator” which knocks him out (sure, why not?).  All of this is watched by Dr. Doom, who has Dr. Strange’s cloak and is apparently now the Sorcerer Supreme?
Review:  If this was an introduction to Joe Kelly’s work we’ll see for the next 10 issues, it did not impress me much.  Spidey doesn’t talk until his final page, I had no idea who Override is or why Spidey is here, and this story’s only purpose seems to be to introduce Dr. Doom as the antagonist (?) for Kelly’s run, which it did, so … good job I guess?
Grade:  C-

(An obvious reference to the 2021 Netflix film.)

 

INITIAL RESPONSE

It’s hard to review this issue because I want to review it as its own issue, but also as the end of this story arc, and as the end of the Zells run.  So should I review it on its own, or how well it ends the Zells run?  I’m going to try for the former, but the latter may sneak through in my thoughts here.

So once again Zells has a story arc that I like for the most part but the ending completely drops the ball and greatly disappoints me.  This run started with establishing Tombstone as a new Big Bad for Spidey.  I had hoped it would end with Tombstone being defeated, or at least removed from the board (if only temporarily) to give a satisfying conclusion to this Tombstone storyline.  Nope.  He’s pretty much at the same spot as where he started, except he’s lost White Rabbit, Kareem, and Janice.  Which probably makes him a bigger threat because now he’s lost his only family, and his lieutenants that would at least try to rein him in.  Considering this run started with Tombstone, it makes sense for it to end with him.  But this was not a satisfying ending.

 

WHAT I LIKED

Tombstone’s new look.  I had hoped for a return of his flattop haircut, but this is better than nothing.

(The doctor probably recommended a normal eyepatch but Tombstone insisted on something with facial symmetry.)

Spider-Man keeping the device that the Spider-Goblin created to defeat Sandman.  There’s no reason Spidey shouldn’t be using new tech that he created when he was the Spider-Goblin, or the Sinful Spider-Man.

Aunt May telling Spider-Man to leave her nephew alone.  From her point of view, she knows that Peter is going to try to help people and she can’t stop him from doing this.  So she goes to the source and tells Spider-Man to stop involving Peter because it will get him killed.

Spider-Man telling Aunt May that “Peter” chooses to help him because it’s who he is.  This was a great way for Spider-Man to explain to her why Peter disappears so often and gets injured without actually revealing his secret identity to her (which he should totally should do, but Marvel isn’t going to do that).

Most of Peter’s conversation with Aunt May over pizza.  It’s heavily implied here that she has figured out that Peter is Spider-Man.  Will anything come from this?  Probably not?  But for a brief moment, I believed it, and I liked her putting the pieces together.  We’ve already seen May “find out” that Peter is Spider-Man, but we’ve never seen her “figure it out”.

(If May hasn’t figured it out here then she’s incapable of ever figuring it out.)

Finally, this shout-out to the Crawlspace in the credits for one of the backups:

(One issue too late.)

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

Hoo, boy.

So Tombstone tried to kill Janice, so instead of staying and testifying against him, ensuring that he’ll be sent to prison, she runs away?  As far as she knows, he is willing to – and wants to – kill her.  You’d think she’d want to stay and make sure he goes to prison.  Oh well.

The whole dismissal of the case against Tombstone is ridiculous.  Are you saying that even without Janice’s testimony, there was no other evidence?  He literally tried to kill many people in the past two issues while trying to kill Janice.  I know the judge was paid off (or corrupt), but still.

Tombstone admits to Peter that he paid off the judge – sure, I can buy him doing that.  But admitting this in front of Peter *and She-Hulk*?  What is to stop both of them from going to the DA/cops/whomever and telling them this?  He literally admitted this in front of two witnesses – and on a busy sidewalk with lots of other people around.  I know he whispers when he talks, but this is ridiculous.

So Janice is gone, but what about Randy?  Did he leave with her?  Is he still here?  There are no answers here about any of this.

(Is this meant to be Randy?  He’s sitting right next to Peter.  And yet this is his only appearance in this issue.  If it is him then he says *nothing* about Janice?)

An Aunt May appearance by itself should not be in this category, but her appearance here just highlights how underused she was during this entire run.

(The search results for “Aunt May during Zeb Wells ASM run”.)

Sandman’s hair.  Seriously, what is going on here?

(What are we doing here?)

Peter and Aunt May eating pizza for dinner?  Seriously, is Aunt May a pizza eater?

Aunt May swearing about Sandman.  Really?  At least pull out some old timey G-rated slang used in the 1920s.  If she had called him a “jackanape”  or “rapscallion” I would have accepted that.

To summarize, just a completely disappointing end to this story arc, and to Zells’ Tombstone story in this run.

 

WHAT THIS ISSUE MEANT OVERALL

For a final issue to this Tombstone arc, this was disappointing.  For the final issue for the Zells run, this was very disappointing.  Should either of these surprised me?  Probably not.

I have to add that this run turned Mary Jane into Jackpot and didn’t undo that.  She’s still Jackpot.  It still makes no sense, but apparently this is her new status quo.  Unbelievable.

Also, Paul is still around – I thought that maybe this issue would shoehorn in some ending for Paul, or for him to have to leave for some reason.  But no, this is the new status quo too.

The Zells run is over.  Although there were some stories I liked, I’m glad to see it go.  And yet, unlike other runs that are largely ignored, its effects will persist (at least for awhile).  MJ is still Jackpot, Paul is still around, and Chasm still wants to steal Peter’s life.  It’ll be hard to pretend that this run never happened.  Sigh.

(Kids, ask your parents.  Or their parents.)

As for the introduction of Joe Kelly for the next run, nothing grabbed me and made me excited (and this is from someone who still thinks Kelly’s Deadpool run is the gold standard for Deadpool).  Who wants to see Spider-Man die over and over again?  And in a story with Dr. Doom Sorcerer Supreme?  Who asked for this?

(Yeah, this is definitely what I want in a Spider-Man story.)

 

GRADE

D-

As already mentioned, this was a very disappointing ending for this Tombstone arc.  But that appears to be Zell’s modus operandi for his arcs that I did like, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.

 

NEXT TIME, IN AN ALL-NEW ISSUE OF AMAZING SPIDER-MAN …

The Ten Deaths of Spider-Man!  A new writer!  This should be a good thing, right?  But Joe Kelly is only staying on for ten issues for a single story involving magic and alternate worlds – just what everyone wants from a Spider-Man story.  On the plus side, maybe with this story there won’t be any time for Jackpot, Rek-Rap or Chasm?

Good luck with this, Dark Mark, and … oh.  Oh yeah.  Darn.  Well, whomever replaces DM, what an issue to start on!

 

FOOTNOTES

(1)  Narrator:  “In fact, nobody asked for backups.”

(2)  Is this the first mention of Michele’s last name?  I think I would have remembered “Le” since it makes me think of the French definitive article (i.e. le chat).

(3)  Most fans of The West Wing should get this reference.

(4)  This is actually a sequel to a backup story Zells did in ASM #25 (Legacy #826) titled “Team-Up”.  I see what you did there, Zells.

(5)  I didn’t remember him but he appeared in that Zells backup mentioned in the previous footnote.  Why couldn’t Zells have just brought back this villain instead of Wayep?

(6)  Just a reminder that this is how MJ’s powers actually work.  She spins some symbols and hopes something good comes up.  She has no other actual powers.  Seriously, how has Jackpot not been killed already?

(7)  Another villain I didn’t remember.  Apparently Spidey fought him during The Gauntlet story, and Spider-Ben fought him in the 2021 Free Comic Book Day Spider-Man/Venom issue.

(8)  At first I thought this was Overdrive but this guy first fought Ben when he was the Scarlet Spider, and then participated in the Gathering of Five ceremony.  Seriously, what’s with this issue pulling out so many obscure Spidey villains?