Tombstone is in prison and all is right in the world, so what could there possibly be left to say in this arc? Could it be that not all is as it seems? Can a mere box of concrete and iron withstand the likes of Tombstone? Is there another kingpin of crime in the making? Did Tombstone do a mind swap with Spider-Man (why not, everyone else is doing it)? Will Aunt May recover from her addiction?* Folks you are going to have to keep reading to find out the answer to these questions and more, like is this the issue Deb Whitman makes a triumphant return?
Credit Where Credit Is Due
Story Title: The Penultimate**
Writer: Zeb Wells
Pencils: John Romita, Jr
Inker: Scott Hanna
Colorist: Marco Menyz
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga
Cover Artists: John Romita, Jr, Scott Hanna, and Morry Hollowell
Asst. Editor: Kaeden McGahey
Editor: Nick Lowe
Remedial ASM 101
Peter Parker is trying to make up for not being Peter Parker for the last few years and orchestrated a take down of Tombstone with the aid of Luke Cage (as mayor and not as Power Man), She-Hulk (as lawyer and not as ex-Avenger), and amazingly enough, Janice (as daughter to Tombstone and not as the Beetle). Tombstone went to jail for a long time. Like life or something. Never to see the sun or breathe fresh air unless he does a Shawshank Remdemption-style escape. Probably.
The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test
Spider-Man goes to visit Tombstone in jail for seemingly no other reason than to rub it in his face when suddenly Tombstone is released on bail causing Spidey to cause minor government property damage and then whine about it for the rest of the issue – an whine he does! He whines to Michelle, Tombstone’s lawyer. He whines to Luke Cage, mayor of New York. He whines to She Hulk, his lawyer. He would whine to Aunt May, but she is mysteriously absent.*** It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Tombstone will need to get rid of the star witness (Janice), but everyone figures that there is no way a stand up guy like Lonnie would harm his daughter, so that must mean he’s going after Randy. White Rabbit is sent after Randy and Janice, but surprise – She-Hulk and Spider-Man are waiting instead. But alas! Turns out Janice was the real target after all and Lonnie is playing 4D chess as he enters her apartment with a gun. Who could have seen that coming!
What Passed and Failed
PASS – The art by JRjr is much better than last time. I’m still not a fan of his work other than I want to cheer on the son of the father I admire, but it is not too distracting for me usually. Last issue, though, geez!
FAIL – Really? Nobody thought a villain like Tombstone would go after his daughter after she BETRAYED him? Even if he won’t kill her, I don’t put it past him to beat her to a pulp or to lock her away somewhere so she can’t testify.
OOTI (Onomatopoeia of the Issue)
On a scale of 1 (POW) to 10 (BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB), SMASH gets a 6. I know what you’re thinking – Mark, what gives? It’s large, see-through, and has a nice little 3-D effect going on. Why the mediocre grade? Is it the fact it is a normal onomatopoeia and not some gibberish like Slott used? To that I would say – not exactly. While I love the look of it, the white outline against the light gray subway train is a tad annoying and brings down what could have been epic. Can you imagine that font in readable type and BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB instead? Man! I’m hyped just thinking about it!
Analysis
Tombstone got out on bail. Spider-Man and others thought he was going to go after Randy, but he instead went after his daughter. That said, we can really look at two characters and break down what this means for them.
Tombstone – Lonnie has been thrust into the head boss position. The implication is that he is going to potentially kill his daughter as evidenced by him shooting the guards (presumably) watching over her.
But that is the easy jump to make and Zeb Wells does not like to follow through on easy jumps. So let’s lay down the odds what what will happen here.
Tombstone kills (or at least attempts to kill) Janice.
Crawlspace odds …………………………………………………………………………………25%
A variation of the above plan would be for Tombstone to kidnap his daughter and just stash her away until the end of the trial. While it may make sense for a general plot of a gangster going to court, I think Wells wants something bigger for his finale.
Crawlspace odds …………………………………………………………………………………15%
More likely, Tombstone is taking a backseat here and Lonnie and running the story (to mirror Peter Parker taking the lead in Spider-Man’s actions). As Lonnie, he is more interested in his daughter’s well being and I believe that Lonnie is willing to take the backseat to his daughter. Tombstone will go to jail and allow Janice to rule in his stead. This will also put pressure on the Janice Randy romance.
Crawlspace odds ………………………………………………………………………………….50%
Leaving 10% chance that there is something that cannot be predicted because elements have not entered the playing field yet.
However, I do want to point out that if my theory is correct, there is a chance that Tombstone knows he can’t beat the rap and is informing Janice that a new boss is taking over – Aunt May****
Crawlspace odds reconfigured ………………………………………………………………..95%
Peter Parker – Zeb is making a push here to bring Peter back into the story. I appreciate that. It is nice to see Peter, but right now Peter is just doing the same job Spider-Man would do – try to contain the Tombstone problem. We still don’t see Peter doing Peter stuff. We don’t see him out with that Ravencroft person. We don’t see what Aunt May is up to (but read the footnotes if you want to know). We don’t see where he is living, who has Gog, him hanging out with Randy, running in to Randi, Candi, and Bambi at a Lonesome Pincus concert, what he is doing about school or job, or any other number of things. It’s a step, but it doesn’t feel like enough to me. Also, I want the villain to be tough enough to take on Spider-Man (otherwise what is the point), but it sure seems like Spider-Man is being out thunked***** by Tombstone of all people (though I guess if he is to be a viable mob boss, he needs to think like Kingpin more than he used to as just enforcer).
Extra Credit
Let’s think ahead a bit – besides the return of Deb Whitman, what would you like to see the new writers do?
Final Grade
It’s not a bad issue, but it’s not particularly a good one either. I don’t have much to dig into here, though, unless I make it up (which I totally did not do in the foot notes). Certainly nothing here to make a graph or table about. The fight was meh and will not ever make George’s Fight Club (that is if he ever gets off his lazy rear end and does another one (and no, I am not worried about his reprisal for me calling out his lazy rear end because he doesn’t like the current ASM run and I doubt he reads the reviews like he used to)).
C-
But Wait! There’s More!
I feel like this may get more traction in the comments than the actual issue – the letters pages, specifically this letter from down under and the reply:
On the one hand, kudos to the Spidey Office for printing a letter that is negative. However, “you do you”? Really? The connotation of that phrase is certainly passive aggressive at the very least. This guy isn’t happy, yet he’s been a loyal fan for years and you just dismiss his concerns with “you do you”?
Plus, I’d like to take a closer look at the claim:
I think we can and do know how Lee, Ditko, Romita Sr, and other past editors and writers felt.
I completely understand the concept that an IP like Spider-Man cannot continue to change and mature too much for no other reason that the character needs to be around for decades, but the idea that he must stay between 25-30 is not one I believe in. I know there are comments like if you want a married Spider-Man, aged Spider-Man, father Spider-Man, etc. that you can read them in specialized books like Ultimate Spider-Man and such, but I think that concept should be reversed. If you want a younger, swinging single, high-school Spider-Man, you should have satellite books for that. If you want the continued adventures of your hero, read the main book.
Homework
I want everyone out there to write a letter to the Spidey Office and mark it OK to print. It can be good or it can be mean. Just write it! I mean, write it after you write a reply in the comments section, of course. In fact, write your comment, then write your letter, then come back here to the comments and paste what you sent them so we can be on the look out for it.
What’s Next?
The most visceral issues in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN history begin here!
Ohh! Someone in marketing using high priced words. Chi-Town, ‘visceral’ means focusing on deep emotional feelings (like deep inside all raw and gut-wrenching) instead of relying on one’s intellect.
Well, I’ll be here in the comments section for it, but Craig will take you through that one. Probably for the best. He’s much more in touch with his feelings than I am. I am a Gen Xer who was brought up to suppress those things and bottle them up.
Footnotes – Yes, you must read them
* You know, that crack cocaine addiction she had way back when she was dating JJJ’s father. Cobwebs way back in June 15, 2016 (refresh yourself here). I know its been a subplot long ignored, but it makes sense that she has relapsed which is why she hasn’t been seen. In fact, Crawlspace odds are 73% that the big twist is going to be when Aunt May squares off against Peter in a story titled, “My Aunt the Druggie!” Holy moly! This is going to rival the famous drug issues of yester-yore! I sure hope it is in issue 59 rather than 58 so I get to review it!
** This title makes sense in my next review.
*** See my first footnote. I’m doubling down on this theory. This is the hill I die on (and probably the hill Aunt May dies on – drugs are bad stuff)!
**** This does make sense! Go back and read the first bullet point! In fact, let me lay out my plan here. Aunt May will have Aunt Anna as her #1 advisor and Anna will be using her contacts from Ravencroft to distribute product and enforce their will upon the city. This will cause potential problems between Peter and his new girlfriend who works at Ravencroft (whose name escapes me at the moment). Holy cow! I am so brilliant! Wells, are you taking notes? I’m just giving this stuff away for free here!
***** I’m sure it is a word and used with proper grammaricity.****** Trust me.
****** OK, I just made that one up.
‘Nuff Said!
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@Dark Mark:
I think we were supposed to like Michele, from her introduction as the “odd one out” at the bachelorette party, to Peter going on a date with her.
Also, you can be someone’s lawyer, but to know (and she *has* to know or she’s stupid) that getting Tombstone out on bail means he will take revenge on Janice and being ok with that shows that she doesn’t care what happens to Janice – even if she’s killed. Which makes her a great lawyer for a criminal but a terrible friend and a worse human being.
@Dark Lord Mark — I’ve said this before, but I wish we could react to comments here like on Discord or Facebook. Since you’ve only ever made one mistake, I thought for a moment that maybe I got my name wrong all this time. (Someone once accused me of having the wrong birthday when I didn’t match what she felt was my appropriate horoscope sign, and for a moment, I thought, “Wait…really?”) With one more letter, “Evan” is an anagram of “Naive,” so I sort of like the name Ethan better anyway.
Regarding Shawshank, this might make you feel better: This review is ideal for Tombstone / Val Kilmer quotes, but I’ve never seen that movie, so I can’t participate.
Is there any chance Zeb Wells will try to obfuscate the readers with legal nonsense in an attempt to distract from the potential absurdity of the plot? (I guess maybe since we’ve seen that sort of thing happen before in this run, I am on my guard a little.) I’m glad to see that Hornacek and others are considering the ramifications of these developments. While I do appreciate that Peter Parker is availing himself of the legal system and such, as we know, in the Marvel Universe, laws change from panel to panel, especially when Luke Cage is involved, so I’m curious how this will play out.
By the way, I forgot to mention in my earlier post that I agree with and appreciate your low score for “Smash!” — If anything, it may need to be lower because the transparent letters made it difficult for me to read at first, and the extra time needed to make sense of it sort of contradicts the suddenness and alarm that a “Smash!” would entail. (I know you appreciate the degree to which I ponder the onomatopoeia.)
@Hornacek and @Evan
Hornacek – I don’t think we were ever supposed to like Michelle and I figure she of the mindset that Janice brought this on herself when she went against her father. It’s business. Being the lawyer of Tombstone brings money and power. Being the friend of Janice means being out of a job or worse. I understand wanting to know how she did it, but for me, that doesn’t matter.
Evan – Yeah, that Ethan guy is worse than Chi-Town. Look, I got three letters correct, that’s not bad. You can refer to me as ‘Marv’ until you feel vindicated.
Who is this Ethan guy? He sounds pretty dumb.
I can accept Tombstone getting out on bail … if they told us the reason. Maybe I’ve watched too much Law & Order but if someone is getting out on bail, I want to know why. Was it an exceptionally large bail amount that Tombstone was able to pay? Was some of the initial evidence thrown out of court so bail was not acceptable? Considering the previous issue ended with Tombstone’s own daughter saying “I’m going to testify against my own father about him being a crime boss and a murderer” you’d think bail would be denied. So Tombstone getting out on bail and we’re told it happened “just because” is pretty weak.
Also, I can accept Michele getting Tombstone out on bail. But she seems to care nothing about what this means. She is friends with Janice – she has to know Tombstone is going to kill her, make her disappear, threaten her, something. And yet she has no problem with getting him out of jail knowing this will happen, and even seems to be proud of it around Peter. Yes, a lawyer sometimes has to represent criminals, but maybe show a bit of guilt over doing her duty over her loyalty to her friend? Or having her quit so that she doesn’t have to be the one to sign her friend’s death warrant? But no, she does this, and doesn’t even seem to care that Janice is likely to be killed now. Were we ever supposed to like this character?
@Ethan, @Geiseric, and @Michael
Ethan – Keep waiting. As for relatability, while I do agree it is important, it is not everything. Who can relate to a billionaire vigilante? Or an over-powered alien? Or an immortal Amazon? Yet those are the big three at the Distinguished Competition. For that matter, I loved the original run of Ms. Marvel, but there is nothing about that character that this old white Christian man can relate to. The writing and storytelling was compelling, so I read it. I love Moon Knight, but I don’t relate to the character either. Jed Mackay is just an awesome writer. As for the wheatcakes, that would explain why Peter finds them so irresistible.
Geiseric – They did some small forays into solo titles, but I don’t think the numbers supported making it any bigger, I could be wrong. I was wrong once in college and could be again, but I do believe that Lowe thought this could be a new use for this character.
Michael – I have no problem with Michelle getting Tombstone out on bail. I figured that as a mob lawyer, she was either great at loopholes in the system or she was able to make an offer the judge couldn’t refuse. For that matter, it could just have been a super high bail amount that Tombstone could pay (I look up the highest bail it was 3 billion dollars). As for Shay, I’m glad to see that something is sticking around here. It is not that I love Wells’s run, but I hate the way each writer ignores all the characters created by the former writer. It makes it hard to build any sort of supporting cast. I also just think the possibilities for Peter stories with her are good with a capable writer. It is a doomed romance, of course, but then, all romances with Peter are doomed to end in failure eventually. Give us something to enjoy the ride with until the inevitable return of MJ. I saw in the comments on that link people referring to her as Carlie Cooper 2.0, but I think that is ridiculous. It’s not being shoved down our face that she is perfect and it is not fresh off the break up of Peter and MJ’s marriage.
A lot of people didn’t like the idea that Michele was able to get Tombstone out on bail due to her superior lawyering. There’s no way a judge would allow a repeat violent offender like Tombstone out on bail. It would have worked better if there was a line about how Tombstone threatened the judge’s family or something.
@Mark- A picture for the next arc has Peter talking to Shay, so she’s not going to be killed by Tombstone:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Spiderman/comments/1ege9bf/whos_ready_for_more_shay/
I doubt it has anything to do with a solo series. If it did they would have pulled the trigger already. But instead of that she’s done nothing.
@Dark Lord Mark —
Wait, so you’ve seen The Shawshank Redemption now? You’ve referenced it, so presumably you’re sufficiently familiar with its details and minutiae to give Craig and me your favorite quote or two. We’ll wait.
I quite literally cringed when I read the response to the New Zealander Nick’s letter. In other words, I had a visceral reaction to the dismissiveness of that reply. It’s almost as if Nick Lowe felt personally offended by NZN’s opinions. Also, I don’t really understand why so many people seem to believe that relatability is limited to surface characteristics. I’d love it if all the Crawlspacers included in their letters to the editor how accurately they felt that NZN’s letter reflected their own views. Then Nick Lowe will have the confirmation he needs that NZN’s views reflect those of the many. There are millions and millions of visitors to the Crawlspace, right? Right?
By the way, I’ve seen the argument made that Marvel’s flagship character needs to be the most relatable, but with the advent of the MCU it seemed for a time that Iron Man filled this role, and even he was allowed to get married to Emma Frost, if I’m not mistaken.
I’ve suggested before that Aunt May could have accidentally made some wheatcakes out of a sack of flour that may or may not have been a clone, but it seems to me that her wheatcake ingredients could likewise be altered for distribution of other more illicit substances.
Geiseric, I think Aqu@ sums it up with mentioning her solo series. They don’t know what to do with MJ and so I think they were seeing if she could go solo as a heroine on her own, sort of like how Flash became Venom. This would be a win for Marvel because MJ has fan recognition, even non-Spider-Man fans, and being a female, it would give them potentially a female character that stands on her own. Jackpot ties her into her iconic line and keeps her from being just another Spider-Woman character (like she was with Spinneret). She was loved as Spinneret, so I am betting someone did the math and thought that fan love would continue. The problem is, people didn’t love Spinneret because MJ was a hero, people loved Spinneret because she was Peter’s wife and a mom to boot. Plus, the powers aspect worked since it was an alternate reality and not 616. MJ works best in 616 as the non-powered character who is still strong in her own right (when Spencer wrote her, she had her own life and was not just a character waiting around for our hero to need someone) and also someone who can be there for the hero we pick the comic up to read. She is GREAT in that vein. Jackpot takes both of those away, which strips her of all of what we love about her. Maybe in the hands of a writer with passion for the Jackpot idea it could work, but it just didn’t pan out that way. But this is comics and they can easily take those powers away and restore this character to her old self.
As far as Shay being editorial, I don’t know. I don’t think so. My bet is that Wells thinks she can be a good character and love interest for Peter (I agree) and didn’t get to do anything with her, so he set it up to potentially be explored by the next author. Either that, or Tombstone is going to kill her or something and end it all. I hope not. I think her connection to villains and Peter puts her in a good spot to be used by a competent writer. She’s no MJ, but she could be good until they get around to bringing MJ back.
@Mark
I already know and agree with everything you said. It’s Lowe that seems to be (intentionally?) oblivious to it. I also wrote him a letter about Peter’s growth quite some time ago: guess what? Never published.
I fear he’s giving that famous Lee’s statement a little too weight (it was something on the line of “I almost regret getting Peter Parker out of high school”, but context matters).
As for the footnotes… You’ll never know, my crackpot friend! 🙂
@Geiseric
“So what was the point of all this?”
But getting her own solo series who nobody read or cared for, of course!
I know everyone is talking about the letters but there is something else I want to talk about jackpot
I thought that with Tombstone having recon pics of Peter and MJ that she would be relevant to the last arc and Jackpot would have some point, but it’s pretty clear now that isn’t happening.
So for those keeping track at home since her introduction jackpot has appeared in 1 ASM issue and cameod in another. So what was the point of all this?
With Shay appearing randomly late into the run and jackpot doing nothing I honestly wonder if this is editorial
@Aqu@ – I know that they are limited in what they can do to show growth. There needs to be the illusion of change, but the ability to keep the core attributes of the character intact. Stan Lee began racing through Peter’s high school, but then slowed the pace considerably to get him through college. Once he got out of college, he became a grad student to keep the progression going, but also trying to stay with that core feeling of Peter Parker the college student. But the point is, slow as it got, there was always the slow growth and maturity. The marriage certainly took it up another step (Stan Lee’s push) and it was bold of them to even consider a child (though how perfect for a character that struggles with what responsibility entails?). These things are key changes to our character’s situation. Done well and slowly over time, we get a nice progression. Instead, it seems as if Peter is acting younger and younger to the point where Miles seems more mature at times. I just feel it is disingenuous to say that he must stay young and we have no idea what Lee would have wanted (when we clearly do).
Oh, and the footnotes comment was absolutely aimed at you! 🙂 I almost added your name to it to be sure you got it. So the big question is, did you read the footnotes?
You know, if you keep professing your love for your daughter again and again and that you’d do anything for her, people will start believing it, and will still believe it even when said daugter shows up with bruises on her face.
It’s the same kind of manipulation big companies do when they keep saying they care for your privacy, even if in their compulsory privacy document the opposite is clearly shown (“clearly” if you have the brain to read and understand it in its entirety, that is, which most people don’t).
I completely agree with you on how it should be the reverse for Spider-man’s growth. The fact that Lowe cannot understand this has become a big fat problem. I really thought about sending him a letter about all that. I also thought about starting an online petition to shove numbers in his face, since he claims the reader can’t prove his stance (like he could! The printed mail are filtered by him! It’s so disingenuous.); however I’m not sure how we could make the petition really spread to reach every disappointed fan. I’m also sure that something like that must have already been done since 2007 for sure, and probably with unsatisfactory results.
I cannot shake the feeling that “Footnotes – Yes, you must read them” is aimed at me…