Dear reader, I must say unapologetically that this is the BEST Zeb Wells’s Spider-Man story I have ever read! Yes – I know Chasm is in it. Yes – I know Doctor Connors is in it. Yes – I know they are setting up for a return of Ms. Marvel in the Spider-Man books. Yes – I know that the Walking Brain is a thing now. I say again, THE BEST ZEB WELLS SPIDER-MAN STORY EVER. I see the doubt on your faces. You know what? Let’s just skip on past the credits and get going with this thing!
Credit Where Credit Is Due
Story Title: Bring Back My Goblin to Me!
Writer: Zeb Wells
Pencilers: Ed McGuinness and Todd Nauck
Inkers: Mark Farmer, Todd Nauck, Cliff Rathburn, and Wade Von Grawbadger
Colorists: Marco Menyz, Erick Aarciniega, and Brian Valenca
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga
Cover Artists: Ed McGuinness and Marco Menyz
Assistant Editor: Kaeden McGahey
Associate Editor: Tom Groneman
Editor: Nick Lowe
Remedial ASM 101
The sins of Norman Osborn are back in Norman. Peter has been subjected to the Winkler Device which now turns people into goblins or something. The Living Brain is now the Walking Brain. The Sinister Six really wants to hurt the Brain no matter what it calls itself.
The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test
Ben is having nightmares about Peter being sent to get the Sin Spear. Doctor Octopus and Norman talk trash on the phone (a landline at that) until Peter as the Spider-Goblin comes in and systematically kicks every single one of their patooties. Norman is trying to handle his partially missing brain (not his personal one, just the one that grew a body and walked away) when he is interrupted by a Kamala Khan who cleverly calls him Mr. O to see if he is still Norman Osborn. The Walking Brain, in need of more arms as his scientist only has one, goes to visit JJJ and his buddy the arms formerly known as Doctor Octopus’s arms.
What Passed and Failed
PASS – Pretty much EVERYTHING, but let’s say Spider-Man kicking the butts of all the Sinister Six without even breaking a sweat.
FAIL – A land line? Really? To all readers Neil’s age and younger, a land line is a type of phone that has a cord embedded into a wall that delivers voices much like a tin can with a string tied to another tin can. In the old days, you had a land line with an extra long curly cord in the kitchen that you could stretch into the hallway for what was the most privacy you would probably have on the phone at that time. But really – how on earth does Doctor Octopus having a landline in his lair make any sense at all?
FAIL – To be more accurate, the real failure of this issue are the previous issues. Chasm brings with him the stink of Dark Web. Kamala brings with her the stink of her death shoved unceremoniously into ASM. Spider-Goblin serves to remind us that this was just done a few issues ago. Despite that, if we look at the issue as is and do not bring in the failures of those that came before, then it works. I get it if you cannot divest this issue from the previous monstrosities.
OOTI (Onomatopoeia of the Issue)
On a scale of 1 (POW) to 10 (BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB), crch gets an 8. Why so high? Well, this sound is denoting a cracking skull, but Spider-Man is not aiming to just crush the skull – he’s making sure Kraven87 understands that he can do this at leisure. So the onomatopoeia is in lowercase letters to make the point that it is just barely cracking. Nice!
Analysis
The systematic breakdown of each member of the Sinister Six – The best part about all of this is seeing Spidey cut loose. We know that he holds back so much and when he unleashes what he is capable of, the villains should be scared. This wasn’t quite the Back in Black Kingpin moment, but let’s face it – will we ever get that kind of moment again?
Doc Ock – Smart move on Spider-Goblin’s part here. Doc Ock is the biggest threat in this room by far. Take him out fast while you still have the element of surprise.
So Ock’s arms are like Christmas lights – if one goes out, they all go out!
Vulture – Not sure what happened here, to be honest. Those look like magnetic bracelets and when they snap his hands together, he crashes? Does he use his hands to steer? Someone want to correct me on this?
Electro & Sandman – Two for one! I love this power enhancer thing. Peter has spent time in the past trying to make power dampeners and even power cures for villains back when he was working for Horizon Labs. To use it to take out Sandman as well? Awesome!
Mysterio – I have to say, when I saw the Avengers show up, I didn’t question it. I was ready to see Spider-Man open a can on them too. I’m a little sad I don’t get to see this fight. I felt a little bad for the guy when Spidey just picks up a bit of rebar and hauls away on him. By the way, steel rebar yields the strength of 40,000 PSI, so if it connects with Mysterio’s head at Spider-Man’s strength, he’s probably done for.
Kraven87 – We already looked at his skull cracking, so let’s look at this:
Holding the sins or not, Spidey takes a direct hit with that thing. I’m not seeing any blood, so my thought is that this suit is reinforced chain mail or something? Speaking of, who made this suit? Did crazy Spidey sit down and start sewing or did Norman make it up for him? Either way, someone took the time to fix up a new suit and stitch in all the little webbing everywhere. That took some effort and should be applauded. I imagine that Peter’s sitting around sewing and making dates with that lawyer girl.
Kraven is the only one who is prepared for this. This isn’t a dig on the others, but they just have not seen what these sins do. Kraven’s a bit obsessive over them at the moment. I do like how he is operating on the assumption that the sins are still in Spider-Man. He saw what a sinful Spider-Man can do and is still not over his being buried alive moment. It says a lot for Kraven to confront him here, more so than I think can really be conveyed on the page. Wells tries to remind us by having Electro say that he’s never seen Kraven spooked like this. Yes, I know that he’s probably never seen Kraven87 before, but to be fair, Electro is back from the dead and probably assumes that Kraven is too.
I don’t mind this being a rehash of the Sins story because of two reasons: 1. I see this as a continuation of that same story, not a rehash, and 2. the idea is a good one and I feel like we didn’t get it explored enough in the Kraven story. Comics only have so many plots that they can do. The same stories get told over and over again. To me, that is perfectly fine (Shakespeare himself just retold other people’s stories) as long as it can be retold better or at least bring us something new. This is new. The Spider-Goblin is a different entity that the Sinful Spider. They have different motivations. Sinful Spider-Man worked off of hate and revenge. This new guy is operating more as a crazy goblin. There will be overlaps for sure, but I appreciate the distinction in the character depictions.
If Ben’s dreams are true, and in literature, there is a good chance a dream does have true meaning, Peter’s task is to get Kraven’s sin spear, but he doesn’t seem too intent on getting that spear. He’s a lot more wild and loose. Speaking of Chasm…
Chasm – I have absolutely no desire to see him in this book, but for your Ben fans out there, I imagine it is good to see Ben playing hero again. If we get him acting this way instead of trying to push some stupid plan to get Peter to eat a moldy apple or something, then I can deal with it. As it was, there was not enough of him to ruin this for me.
Kamala is back – Unpopular opinion: I have no problems with Kamala being in this book. It makes a lot more sense for here to be here than in an X-Men book, for sure. The biggest problem we had with her last time was that she was underutilized. It would have been great for her and Peter to build a relationship while at the same time running into each other as Spider-Man and Ms. Marvel (much like they did when Peter was rooming with Captain Britain a long time ago). Why she would even think that Norman wasn’t on the up and up right now, I don’t know. I don’t rightly care either, for that matter. Let’s assume she made some friends while working there that she is still in contact with that let her know that Norman is acting odd or take it at face value – she never trusted him, Peter can’t be reached, and she played a hunch. Whatever the case. I like Ms. Marvel and I don’t mind her taking a part in this again. Shoot, we have pretty much everyone else in here, might as well bring her back too.
One phone call and she already knows somethings wrong with Mr. O. Too bad she wasn’t around for Spider-Man when Doc Ock took control of his body. She could have solve the whole problem in one issue. And who is that with her? A mutant friend? I stopped reading her comics when she became a mutant.
No Peter – Everyone else but Peter, that is. While that could be a negative, I’m fine with it in the short term. Peter is the villain here, so to take his thoughts away from us, it makes it more dramatic. This was a good narration call by Wells.
Bad call by Wells – It’s not in this issue, but this whole time, Peter has been going into the Winkler Device. When? Why didn’t we get moments where Peter is unaware of time that had past like when the symbiote was taking him out at night. Should we have seen Peter thinking it was Thursday when it was really Friday? I guess we got that with the lawyer dating scene, but I feel like more could have been done. Maybe this is the problem with twice a month comics. If the writer had more time, they would weave more story plots together or something. I don’t know for sure, just speculating.
The Walking Brain – The Walking Brain is so silly that it tells me this story is going to get much darker before it gets better. A story that dark needs to have a comedic relief element to lighten it up between dark events. I certainly don’t mind the silly stuff as long as it fits well enough. I felt that the Beyond silliness was so out of touch with the rest of the story that it didn’t work for me, but with Peter not really being funny, I’m figuring that Wells feels the need to give the readers a breath now and then. Am I looking forward to the brain formerly known as the Living Brain teaming up with the arms formerly known as the arms of Doctor Octopus? Not particularly, but I’m not dreading it. I’m calling it now – Rek-Rap will make a triumphant return before all is said and done.
By the way, according an article written in Grammarphobia in 2009, “What in Sam Hill…” is an expression that has lost its origin. The first time it is recorded, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is lower case, so that chances of it not even being a name is high. I’ve heard this expression a bit down here in the South. What about where you guys hail from?
The end is nigh – to reiterate my esteemed co-reviewer’s thoughts, this certainly feels like a grand wrapping up of all loose ends and so it surely seems like the end for Wells is right around the corner. Maybe those of you who are more up to date on the solicits can enlightenment, but I doubt we see Wells on issue 70.
Extra Credit
What would you like to see Spider-Goblin do? It doesn’t even have to be in the context of this story – if we have a Peter with this mindset, what would you like to see?
Final Grade
I really like this one. The fights are good, the comic is fun, and I am looking forward to the next one – something I have not been able to say for quite a while now. Are there small things to pick apart? Sure, but I had so much fun reading the issue, I didn’t stop to pick the nits. In fact, the only thing it doesn’t have going for it are lots of little things for me to go down rabbit holes.
A
Your Turn
What grade do YOU give it?
What’s Next?
Nothing is okay. This issue is so shocking and troubling we can’t even show you the cover!
Well, nobody thought to change the copy of the solicit after they decided to show the cover!
Craig’s got you for this one and I have to say, that cover is awesome!
‘Nuff Said!
Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Spotify
Pandora
Amazon Music
iHeartRadio
Podbean
Amazon Alexa
Player.fm
Listen Notes
Stitcher
Hornacek – Now you’re getting it!
Evan – You understand me so well!
How about “Dark Lord Alford”?
All Hail Lord Alford!
@Aqu@ and @Hornacek – Ha! “Lord Alford” came many years ago when I had some freshmen confused about Lord Montague and Lord Capulet and I tried to explain to them the difference in Lord with small caps ord (meaning God) and Lord with lowercase ord (meaning a noble title). I followed it up by saying, “For example, I am so wonderful, you could call me Lord Alford instead of Mr. Alford,” to which one kid said, “I’m not calling you Lord Alford,” to further which I responded, “You will if you want to pass my class.” Freshmen are so gullible, they called me that for the rest of the year. Jump forward to the next year at the before the school starts parent/student orientation night, and these freshmen who are new to the high school and their parents are coming in calling me Lord Alford because the previous students told them they had to. It was an off hand comment and turned into a thing that just spiraled out of control.
TL;DR version – Hornacek, you most certainly should be calling me Lord Alford from now on.
@Aqu@:
Why did you have to call him “Lord Alford”? Now he’ll be calling himself that for months.
Oh, ok, I’m sorry Lord Alford, sir.
“I liked the previous issue more than this one.”
No you didn’t. Mainly because this issue was issue to review which makes it number 1. All other issues are number 2 or lower.
“Don’t be a jerk, Mark.”
Actually, I have 6 classroom rules written on my wall at school. Number 5 is “Lord Alford is a jerk”
“Kraven didn’t impale Peter with the spear. If you look at the next panel, you see he stopped right before piercing the chest.”
I will take your word for it. Rule number 1 in my classroom is “Lord Alford is lazy.” I don’t feel like finding that panel even if it is in my review (I don’t remember if I put it in there or not).
“The scene with Kamala makes no sense at all, if you think about it. It feels forced and unnecessary.”
Well, yeah, but my point is only that I don’t mind Kamala being a somewhat supporting cast member if done better than what we got here.
“Hornacek already pointed out correctly that Peter used the WD only once when he was controlled by the sins.”
I didn’t actually read Hornacek’s response. See rule #1.
I finally got around to finish reading the 50 and to read this issue.
I liked the previous issue more than this one.
Don’t be a jerk, Mark. Having a landline is a good thing in case the cellular network should fail. Doc Ock knows better than abandoning old technology which is still working well (and often, better).
Kraven didn’t impale Peter with the spear. If you look at the next panel, you see he stopped right before piercing the chest.
The scene with Kamala makes no sense at all, if you think about it. It feels forced and unnecessary.
Hornacek already pointed out correctly that Peter used the WD only once when he was controlled by the sins.
Speaking of which, this whole thing about the sins has become dumb and nonsensical. I know Spencer never clearly specified what happened with the Sin Eater’s gun, but now I should believe that the sins were actually Norman’s second persona? I don’t dislike the idea that Norman’s mind is split in two personae (Norman and the Goblin), but hasn’t this angle been long abandoned in favor of a more machiavellic and completely evil man (who is perfectly aware and in control of his action)?
@Michael, @Sthenurus, @Hornacek, @Evan
Michael – You know, I didn’t think about reuniting Ock with his old arms. If that happens, then that might would put him and the Sinister Six on a trajectory for joining the Walking Brain an fighting Norman, with SS trying to also kill Peter and WB trying to save Peter. That might be interesting. Norman finding the secret headquarters, OK, maybe he’s the landlord of that building or something. 🙂 But Ben finding it? I was wrapped up in the fight scene and didn’t even question that. Maybe he just followed his chasm-sense or something equally stupid.
Sthenurus – I’m glad I’m not the only one who liked it. When I wrote the review, I wondered if I would get tarred and feathered and if it would finally be the breaking point for BD to go ahead and fire me.
Hornacek – It *could* be the title. I’m not necessarily lying. Now I have in my head Otto going to rent the building for his lair and the landlord stipulating he must have a landline for the door and Doc Ock just fretting and finally agreeing. I completely agree with Doc Ock’s most vulnerable part of him being his actual body. I liked seeing him downed with a single gut punch after the arms were incapacitated. I think I remember an old comic where he was knocked out, but the arms continued to fight. Ah, the Vulture… Well, now I just feel stupid. I would also say that there is at least a 25% chance that this does not end with Chasm and Spider-Man shaking hands, but ends instead with Chasm making the sacrifice play and dying at the end of this run. And yes – He should get to date that lawyer – and to make it even more sitcom, have him fighting for control of his body with his goblin side so that he made a date with MJ at the same time, same restaurant and he keeps excusing himself when he feels the other side getting stronger.
@Evan – That Winkler Device is nothing if not thorough! By the way, I saw a video today about _Back to the Future_ that I think you will like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcj5DJVvvTk
What exactly did Spider-Goblin do to Otto’s arms? The art indicates that they became nauseated and actually started “blarfing” nano-fluid. Look at those facial expressions!
Is there any significance to the symbol on Electro’s chest?
Gotta love how the Winkler Device went the extra mile and made Peter’s fingertips and toes pointy.
I guess if he outright murders people there will be a a throw-away line in a future issue about how everyone got better.
[twenty minutes later]
Pardon me. I had to interrupt my review to ask a lawyer I know out on a date.
Where was I?
Extra Credit: I’d like to see Peter do something completely nuts: finish his graduate degree. Then it’ll be the second time he did that when he was essentially not himself.
Also, I thought something was off with the art on some pages, and then I noticed that there were 4 inkers in this issue. That’s gotta be it, because the McGuinness art last issue was great from start to finish, but there are some pages in this issue where the art looks bad.
“Story Title: Bring Back My Goblin to Me!” Lies, LIES!
You can tell that Norman is so far ahead of Doc Ock and the SS because Otto is talking on a land line and Norman is on a 5G phone.
I still have a land line but it has nothing to do with me being old. The front door buzzer for my building is hooked into your phone and it has to be a land line, not a smart phone. At least that’s what I was told when I moved in – who knows if that’s still the same all these years later?
Spider-Goblin knocking out Doc Ock with one punch shows a problem I’ve always had with this villain. However powerful his tentacles are, his body is still normal. He has no invulnerability. One punch from Spider-Man should knock him out. Good writers who have used Doc Ock have made sure that he uses his tentacles to keep Spidey away from him because one punch – even when he’s holding back most of his strength – should be enough to end the battle immediately (the JMS run introduced a new Doc Ock who used a force field and pointed out this flaw to Otto).
Slott made a big deal out of Otto dying because of all the head trauma he received over the years fighting Spider-Man and taking his punches. But in most fights Ock would have prevented Spidey from punching him at all, and when he did, Spidey would have pulled his punches. But Slott wanted his “dying Ock becomes Superior SM” story so why not ignore continuity and just say that Spidey has punched Ock in the head many many times over the years?
That’s one of my few problems with Raimi’s SM2 – there are fight scenes where we see Spidey clearly punching Doc Ock multiple times. Just one of those punches should have ended the fight immediately.
For the Vulture, once the magnetic handcuffs are on him, he can’t have his arms outstretched, so therefore his wings aren’t outstretched. He goes from a vulture to a javelin and that’s why he crashes.
“who made this suit? Did crazy Spidey sit down and start sewing or did Norman make it up for him?” Once the sins got back into Norman, he started planning how he would eventually say the secret phrase and turn Peter into Spider-Goblin, which would have involved making this new suit for him. So Norman has spent months (or however long it’s been since the end of the Sinful SM story) making all these plans, including making this new suit for Peter.
I am all in on “Kraven” being the one to save the day here, or at least be involved in it. A Chasm and “Kraven” team-up? Was not on my bingo card, but I am here for it.
As far as Chasm, this looks like it’s the start of redeeming Chasm. Or continuing it from the recent Chasm/Hallows’ Eve/Queen Goblin story. Wouldn’t be surprised if this story didn’t end with Spidey and Chasm shaking hands/
I kind of agree with you about the reuse of plots, but … this is the same plot as last time. Yes, that time it was the sins possessing Peter and this time it’s TWD brainwashing him, so it’s not technically the same thing, but … come on – it’s the same thing. And it hasn’t even been a calendar year since Zells did this the first time. If this was two or three years after the Sinful SM story it wouldn’t feel this bad. I can’t stop thinking “We *just* did this last fall!”
Ms. Marvel … seriously, was anyone hoping she’d be back in this book? It didn’t go too well for her the last time.
“It’s not in this issue, but this whole time, Peter has been going into the Winkler Device. When? Why didn’t we get moments where Peter is unaware of time that had past like when the symbiote was taking him out at night.” Wait, maybe I’m confused here. As far as I know, Peter got the sins in him during the Sinful SM story. In between burying “Kraven” alive and going to kill Paul, SSM put into place a contingency plan, just in case someone got the sins out of him. He knew where TWD device because the sins knew – Queen Goblin had TWD when she had the sins in her. So he went and got TWD, used it on himself, and then went to kill Paul at the end of the SSM story. That’s the only time Peter used TWD. I don’t think he’s been using it at all since then. Unless I’m confused here?
“to reiterate my esteemed co-reviewer’s thoughts” Aw, shucks (awkwardly kicks the dirt).
“What would you like to see Spider-Goblin do?” Go on a date with Michele. This was obviously something he wanted to do during the Sinful SM story, so let’s do it here.
I have the feeling wells run Is gonna be a reverse JMS/Spencer run. Very week beginning, slightly better middle but banger finish.
The last 3 ish arcs were really good. I really liked the first 2 acts of beyond.
Most of the concept introduced were crap at first (tombstone and vulture wrecking Peter, Peter working at oscorp and forgiving Norman, Paul and MJ…)but seem to be redeemed (or at least become interesting) now (aside from the paul.amd MJ stuff or course).
Re: Kamala- She says she was having trouble getting ahold of Peter. Kamala’s last series ended with her being considered a public menace after being framed for putting an imam in a coma. She probably was calling Peter for advice because this sort of thing happens to him every other Tuesday, and when she couldn’t reach him wondered if Norman was involved.
I like how both Norman and Ben had no problem finding the Sinister Six’s “secret” headquarters. They might just as well have posted it on their blogs or something.
I like how Ben is finally trying to be a hero again and help Peter.
Re: Peter and the Winkler Device- I think Peter’s mostly been a sleeper agent between the first Sins story and now.
Agreed that it feels like Wells is wrapping up all his loose ends. In this story, Norman’s returned to evil and we’ll probably see Ben and Peter reconcile by the end and Ock get his original arms back since his new arms have been ruined. The solicits for issue 56 feature Tombstone trying to kill Spider-Man, and that feels like it will be Wells’s last arc, with maybe an epilogue to get MJ away from Paul and back with Peter.