Well, there is still a gang war going on. The big questions are: Will Spider-Man do something? Will this be resolved in some other title? Will Beetle regain some fashion sense? Is there a mysterious figure who will most likely be revealed to be the long lost love of Spidey’s life – Deb Whitman? Dear reader, I cannot in good faith spoil this issue and review by answering these questions (or even addressing their validity) here in the opening blurb! Nay, friend, read the issue, then scroll down and let’s tackle this together!
Credit Where Credit Is Due
Story Title: Gang War (how uninspired)
Writer: Zeb Wells
Pencils: John Romita, Jr
Inker: Scott Hanna
Colorist: Marco Menyz
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga
Cover Artists: John Romita, Jr, Scott Hanna, and Marco Menyz
Asst. Editor: Kaeden McGahey
Editor: Nick Lowe
Remedial ASM 101
There’s a gang war going on. Tombstone was shot. Now he is better and he’s teamed up with Spider-Man and Spider-Woman and Spider-Man and Daredevil and She-Hulk. Beetle and Madame Masque are the last two standing and about to face off in Central Park like it’s Braveheart’s finale.
The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test
Look, the story is not bad, but it’s not an exciting recap, so to entertain myself, I’m doing the recap completely in meme form.
That pretty much sums it up. Anyone who read the issue can leave in the comments what I missed.
What Passed and Failed
PASS – Miles is not acting so much like a whiny Chicagoian brat
FAIL – Beetle’s new suit (which is not new to this issue, but I still have to look at it
PASS – Tombstone destroying Beetle’s new suit
PASS – Spider-Man does some things in this issue (which should not be something that I would even have to consider as a pass, but things are what they are)
FAIL – Give me RC Car Silvermane over Gobble Gobble Silvermane any day.
Now I know what you are thinking if you haven’t read the comic – Mark, if you had actually written a review instead of playing with memes, then mayhaps we would understand why Silvermane is gobbling. To that I say two things: 1. ‘mayhaps’ is an awesome word and I applaud you for using it and 2. no. No you would not. My best guess is one of three things: 1. this is a result of Masque saying a magic word “Malak-Tai” and Silvermane repeating is (though I did put it and one other of her magic words into Google translate, but it failed – I was hoping it meant ‘violent turkey’ or something in Irish (and yes, I did put that in myself and it would be: ‘turcai foreigneach’)); 2. There was a deleted panel where Daredevil called him a turkey; or 3. it would make sense if I read the tie-titles to this arc.
OOTI (Onomatopoeia of the Issue)
On a scale of 1 (POW) to 10 (BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB), KA-THOOM! Rates a solid 8.5. Not just for KA-THOOM!, but for the onomatopoeia it is paired with:
Look at that! So, in the first panel, we see she is using two hands. A one-handed shoot doesn’t get the KA- nor the exclamation point. THOOM is good enough to take out Digger, which is no small feat, so it helps us understand what Beetle went through when she got not just THOOM, but KA-THOOM!
Analysis
There is not a whole to analyze here, at least after two read throughs. Sometimes the literature teacher in me gets excited over the blue curtains and such, but this seems to me to be a fairly straightforward story.
Spider-Man – It was nice seeing Spidey actually do some stuff in his own comic. He connects with Randy. Well, he talks to Randy’s unresponsive body, which is at least close. He has the respect of the others. They all wait for him to talk to Randy’s unresponsive body before going out to fight the good fight. Miles even doesn’t talk to him with that angsty chip on his shoulder. He doesn’t fight the nobodies. Instead, he goes straight after Madame Masque herself – and he holds his own with her. She has a weapon that can take out Digger in one shot, yet Spidey breaks it (mostly). She calls in Owl to help and Spider-Man puts the Owl down without blinking.
The biggest problem is that Gang War is really not a Spider-Man story – It is a Beetle and Tombstone story, so before Spider-Man can put her down for good, she calls for everyone that she has a magical sigil on, which is everyone in her army except Shotgun (and that is only because Tombstone somehow rubbed it off) now has a compulsion to take out Spider-Man at the same time. This will allow Tombstone to step in and take on Madame Masque (but as that will happen in Craig’s review, I don’t have to worry about it). It should not have to be a plus for Spider-Man to take action in his own book and it is irritating when we have gotten to a point when it is so.
Beetle – This is Beetle’s story, though she is not shining as she thought she would. Janice thinks she is ready for the big leagues, though what would have given her the idea that she was is beyond me. Her suit design doesn’t make her look tough. It looks more like she got the wrong order as in Dodge Ball.
She is completely outclassed here. Masque hits her once. ONCE. Sure, it was a KA-THOOM! once, but it was once all the same. When she comes too, her first thought is to:
Yet she is still so imbecilic that she still thinks she has what it takes and it is up to her father to not only rip her wings off (and hopefully damaging that bondage costume forever), but to also knock her out.
Gang War predictions – It is looking like this is going to be a complete circle without much accomplished. Whoever wins this fight between Tombstone and Masque is going to be the new Kingpin (so to speak). It seems pretty positive that Wells is a huge Tombstone fan, so we can probably count on him coming through here. Which means before Gang War, Tombstone was calling the shots. After Gang War, Tombstone will be calling the shots, albeit with more authority and with all the territory under his control. This will only change if: 1. Masque wins after all, 2. Tombstone wins, but gets arrested and imprisoned, or 3. some third party comes in to control the underworld. I don’t see this happening. Now, while I don’t mind Tombstone being the defacto Kingpin, I don’t think he earned it. Everyone else did all the fighting. Tombstone just stepped in for one fight. The fall out might be worth the read, however. You know Beetle will be slow to forgive unless she has a sudden understanding that father knows best. She may even take the role of an 1980s Rose to Tombstone’s Kingpin. How will the villains working under Tombstone feel about him working with Spider-Man to get where he is? How will the other heroes react to Spider-Man allowing Tombstone to step back in and run the underworld? Or will we just drop it and move on to the next story?
Extra Credit
What the heck are the words that Masque is saying? Is there any rhyme or reason to them or is just gibberish made up to sound magical? Feel free to give me correct or absolutely wrong answers here. Also, what are YOUR predictions about where this will end up?
Final Grade
This issue is not bad and nobody fights Spider-Man’s fight, but that is the best I can do for it.
C
What’s Next?
Yes! Craig has ASM #44 which means I will see you guys when this is over! Does it seem odd to anyone that after ASM #44 there is still a Daredevil? They wouldn’t actually require us to go buy that issue to get closure on this arc, would they?
‘Nuff Said!
Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Spotify
Pandora
Amazon Music
iHeartRadio
Podbean
Amazon Alexa
Player.fm
Listen Notes
Stitcher
@Dark Mark:
Stop, stop with the compliments. By which I actually mean “please continue”.
@Michael and @Hornacek
Michael – Good! Let’s wrap these things up and take our chances with a new writer. Let’s hope that Lowe goes with him. Wells has shown he is a good writer, but the execution on these stories is less than. For that matter, Zdarsky had that Spectacular run and I now he is a good writer, but that focus on Teresa instead of Peter derailed the whole series. That’s two writers that are great in other places not doing well at ASM. Then there is the end of Spencer’s run which took great characterization and trashed it. We need an editor that understands Peter Parker, the importance of the supporting cast, and one that enforces a story-rich, faster pace. I have no hopes for that, though.
Hornacek – If you were Norbot and saying that, I would probably respond with ‘even a blind squirrel can find an acorn once in a while’, but as I like you, I will instead say you’re pretty much spot on with everything you review!
@Dark Mark:
“dang if you are not spot on”
You wrote a lot that responded to my previous comment, but this is the only line that I really paid attention to.
@Mark- we know that issue 50-54 are called Return of the Goblin and are written by Wells, so Wells is on at least through July. Incidentally, issues 47-48 feature Ben and Janine and lead into a miniseries by Steve Foxe which will resolve Ben’s Chasm plot. So it looks like Wells’s plots are being wrapped up since Norman is going evil again and Ben is going good. What’s left? Paul and MJ>
@Hornacek and @albahan888
Hornacek – Well, maybe Tombstone knows all the other crime bosses got beat, so there is no neex to worry about how they feel about him working with Spider-Man. He does seem to want to take control. Maybe his first course of action will be to try and beat the living Cheerios out of Spidey to prove his loyalty to the criminal empire. Also, if you were in this gang war, wouldn’t you be trying to kill the other bosses? Maybe they just want them all under their control.
You know, that whole Janice thing went right over my head. I knew it was to make Tombstone angry, but I gave it no more thought than that, but dang if you are not spot on. Why would they, of all the super criminals in New York, be worried about Janice? Absolutely absurd. Maybe they are just a very weak government organization and figure she was an easy mark compared to, say RC Silvermane or someone. I wonder if Janice will not come to terms with the fact that she is certainly not ready to be the organized crime leader and we get Tombstone as the new Kingpin and Janice will play the role of a ’80s Rose.
They still sell DVDs? N
“Madame Masque decides to hold someone back in case she needs a surprise attacker … and it’s the Owl???” Well, she’s still holding onto her big guns like Ringmaster for the final issue. 🙂 actually, I think he was the closest, so beggars can’t be choosers, you know.
Dude, you get to wrap this thing up. I haven’t been looking at the solicits, so I don’t know what is coming up, but do you know how long Wells has on this book? He’s OK, but I think I am willing to take my chances on a new writer.
albahan888 – Your guess is as good as any, and I went back and looked at previous panels with Silvermane in it and to be honest, I don’t see anything to make sense of that. I don’t recognize your username from previous review, so welcome to the Crawlspace if you are new or nice to meet you if you’ve been here a while!
I’m pretty sure ‘Gobble Gobble’ is just the stupidest possible semi-related response to the idea of ‘taste my blades’. Like he’s going to gobble (eat) them up because he seems to be a robot man now so they likely aren’t going to do anything to him or whatever. It’s just a poorly done ‘joke’ maybe. It’s still no good but I would think that’s why he says that. I imagine Zeb Wells just thought of that definition and didn’t think about the turkey thing or he just didn’t care or maybe he was making a turkey joke and I’m thinking too hard about it. I don’t know I only have that one panel to judge it by.
Hey, remember a few (?) issues ago when Tombstone was saying that his time as a crimelord in New York was over due to him being seen helping the heroes? Him saying that no criminal would ever work for him or respect him again? Apparently Zells doesn’t.
Before this Gang War started (the actual event), was Janice really someone dangerous enough to be seen as a target for assassination as a “potential gang lord”? Sure, she was still The Beetle, but she and the Syndicate were just doing minor crimes and not trying to take over the city. If the Gang War hadn’t happened wouldn’t she have married Randy and probably mellowed a bit? What “government agency” was looking at her and saying “she’s worthy of assassination”? This feels like forced drama to give Tombstone a reason to “save” her from becoming a monster.
As someone who still buys DVDs, I feel personally attacked by Rabble’s comment to Lady Ock.
“The moral fanatics”. Ok, that made me laugh.
Madame Masque decides to hold someone back in case she needs a surprise attacker … and it’s the Owl???
@Evan – The counter was all you! If we were on a hockey team, you took the shot and I would be the guy near the goal that tipped it a bit to help throw off the goalie. Of course, it is this guy who gets the credit for scoring the goal, but you get the assist point! I should have asked you for the spell meanings before writing this review. That makes so much more sense now! We need to friend each other on Facebook so that I can run these things by you in the future before looking stupid when I publish the review. And you know me, I do appreciate that exclamation point detail. These guys aren’t doing much right, but when they nail it, I’m there to applaud the effort!
@Mark — Hey, a Deb Whitman counter, and it looks great! I feel like I helped! (Depending on whom you ask, I suppose.)
Thank you for the “Gobble, gobble!” explanation. I, in fact, did not read the comic and that is actually what I was thinking upon seeing that panel. I can only speculate that that’s his way of dismissing “gibberish” that others are shouting. Does his self-awareness of the stupidity of his own gibberish make it okay? No. Fortunately, while I can’t explain the rationale behind Silvermane’s choice of avian articulation, I have a pretty good idea about the others in this issue:
“MALAKI-TAI!” – This is Madame Masque’s spell that enables her to disguise her completely-disfigured face without a mask by causing people to forget that they saw her face before the disfigurement. This is because of of a deal she made with Mephisto that nullified her marriage to Hammerhead, but it enabled her to take advantage of his resulting psychic blind spot to make a play for his territory.
“TILAK-SAH!” – This is the Owl’s spell that enables him to completely change his haircut without anyone acknowledging or even recognizing that he no longer resembles his namesake. This is because of a deal he made with Mephisto that changed all owls in the Marvel universe to look like Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf.
And “KA-THOOM!” even got an exclamation point, whereas “THOOM” did not. You have to appreciate that level of attention to detail.
@Aqu@ and @Michael
@Aqu@ – My 3rd party guess is the triumphant return of The Hypno Hustler! I think Wells could make it work… 🙂
Michael – Excellent foil usage! Bonus points for you! 🙂 I’m glad you said that about Robbie. I meant to put something in there about that but got sidetracked on stupid memes, I guess. That was my read as well, but I guess we could frame it that Randy has had interactions with Spidey before and since he was hurt trying to bring back the legality of super heroes, it would mean a lot for the superhero he knows to be there for him. It’s awesome when Robbie says something ambiguous that *could* mean he knows, but could also be innocent of the knowledge. This is something Wells did right and I should have put it in the PASS section. As for Hammerhead, I just assumed he was still out for the count. I imagine having your adamantium skull cracked open would take quite a lot of time to heal up and even more time to have it properly welded back together. However, this is comics, and your suspicion that he is the one outstanding character could certainly set him up to still have something to do with this ending. That and I have learned not to second guess your predictions! You usually have good insight on this. Of course, I’m doubling down on Hypno Hustler! Crawlspace odds – 63% (by the way, Roid Rage Aunt Anna clocks in at 2% odds).
Note that Robbie tells Spider-Man that Randy would want him to be here. Does this mean Robbie suspects Peter is Spider-Man?
Note that Nefaria, Silvermane and Owl are all under Masque’s control but Hammerhead is nowhere to be found. Is there some significance to this? Does Wells still have one more twist left with Hammerhead?
I get what Wells is going for here- Masque and Janice are foils (thanks for that word, Mark). Masque’s father treated her cruelly because he didn’t love her. Tombstone DID love Janice and tried to shield her from his life but that just alienated her to the point where she’s willing to sacrifice her friends to come out on top, just like Masque would have. I wonder how things will end up for Janice.
Mark: 3. some third party comes in to control the underworld. I don’t see this happening.
Wells: “Watch me.”
How will the villains working under Tombstone feel about him working with Spider-Man to get where he is? How will the other heroes react to Spider-Man allowing Tombstone to step back in and run the underworld? Or will we just drop it and move on to the next story?
YES.