It’s THE issue we’ve been waiting to see! I hope Dark Mark has done his duty to keep you entertained with the reviews for the last couple of books, but he’s tired, really old, and needs a break from time to time. It’s a Spider-Man story that LOOKS like it’s based off one of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock movies…Rear Window! Welp, it definitely has a Hitchcock vibe to it, that’s for sure. Let’s dive right in Crawlsapcers!
(Beyond Trust) Patrick Gleason, Zeb Wells, Saladin Ahmed, Cody Ziglar, & Kelly Thompson
(Writer) Saladin Ahmed
(Artist) Jorge Fornés
(Colorist) Dan Brown
(Letterer) VC’s Joe Caramagna
(Editor) Nick Lowe
(EIC) C.B. Cebulski
Date Released 12/22/2021
Issue Number #883
Price Tag: $3.99
For a different perspective:
Alford’s Notes and Read’s Reads
Story: Peter has been moved from the ICU and now shares a room with annoying roommate, Rico. No worries, he’s moved out within a few minutes by a creepy looking orderly. Enter Mary Jane, who reminds Peter that he needs to stay in bed and rest. Not an easy task to accomplish, since Peter has overheard the creepy looking orderly lied to Rico’s wife about his whereabouts. Peter finally does get some sleep and wakes up finding out he has a new roommate. She’s supposed to be discharged soon when the creepy looking orderly moves her away. Peter knows something is a miss and tries to help, but blacks out from the pain due to his injuries. Now the creepy looking orderly has come for Peter and takes him down the dark basement. Orderly is actually a monster that eats people and about to feast on Peter when our favorite redhead Mary Jane, saves the day by shining some light on the situation! Meanwhile the Daughters of the Dragon are on a Lizard hunt.
The Breakdown
- Terribly Sorry
- Leading Lady
- The Lizard
- Nitpicks
- Grade
Terribly Sorry: Okay, I don’t know about you guys, but if I was in a hospital bed and saw this creepy orderly, I would instruct MJ to call the police, The Avengers, Fantastic Four, hell I would take BEN if everyone else was busy. He looks more like a butcher (with that apron and rubber yellow gloves) than any hospital orderly! So “terribly terribly sorry” for my assumption just by looking at this guy, I tend to avoid “profiling”, however AM I WRONG?! That being said, it’s good to see Peter again. Even though he’s down and out, he still feels the responsibility to help. Ahmed does a good job keeping Peter’s characterization in check. I do find it a bit of a miss that Peter’s spider-sense didn’t go off. Not sure if his spider-powers are immobilized, I wouldn’t think they are, it’s what been keeping him alive. Again, I’m profiling, but looking at this guy should make his spider-sense go off. Which brings me to my next point, the art of Jorge Fornés. It doesn’t really work well for Spider-Man, his art is more dark toned and fits best to his Batman run. His art isn’t bad, far from it actually. Just in my opinion, doesn’t work well for Spider-Man.
Leading Lady: How can you not love this woman? Answer, you just can’t. I was worried that after Nick Spencer left, that MJ’s characterization would fall flat, thankfully it hasn’t and still remains a key factor is Peter’s life. Ahmed stirs the ship keeping the sails in good order and one of those main sails to the boat of Peter Parker, is Mary Jane. This woman has been through so much and survived it that it has only made her character stronger. This is the MJ we like and WANT to see. When the monster was about to eat Peter, I was thinking “Man, organic webshooters would come in handy right about now.”. Thankfully he didn’t need them and actually got something better, or SOMEONE I should say. Mary Jane. I want this characterization to continue!
The Lizard: The Daughters of the Dragon are on a lizard hunt. Question is WHY? Colleen’s reason is so she can keep and wreck another car on the Beyond Corporation’s dime. Classic Colleen. Still, the DOTD need to reel in The Lizard for Maxine Danger which as you know, might be for ill intended purposes. The word “trust” doesn’t come off on Danger’s personality. Not sure why Christy is inquiring that they are doing another assignment for Maxine Danger, aren’t they undercover and really working for Monica Rambeau? Let’s also not forget that The Lizard isn’t Doctor Conner’s. If I’m not mistaken ( I can be, these things happen), The Lizard and Curt separated from each other during the Sinister War set up. So literally, they are going after a beast! I suppose we’ll find out more next issue.
Nitpicks:
- Misleading Covers. When I first saw the covers, it gave a “Rear Window” story telling vibe to it which really got me excited. Only to find out it wasn’t that at all.
- No one at the hospital notices the creepy orderly taking patients away?
- Peter is sitting upright when Aunt May sees him with a smile on his face, yet is in so much pain trying to sit upright in his issue. This is were the “too many cooks in one kitchen” come to play in story telling.
I swear this is how annoying it feels every time Dark Mark wants to talk to me.
Grade: Giving this one a B-. Misleading covers, art, and I expected a bit more from this issue. It seemed too short for my money’s worth. I was expecting Mary Jane to be leaving lip stick kiss marks all over Peter’s face because he woke up from his coma, maybe a cameo from Aunt May and Felicia mixed in with “Rear Window” story telling. Nope, we got the Getting Rest Horror Story. Like I said. I was expecting more than what we got.
I’ll see ya next time!
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I’m assuming his spider-sense didn’t detect the orderly because it’s so focused on the dangers in his own body.
The entire Beyond-stuff feels just fillers just so they can get to the 900th issue as soon as possible
Hey old buddy! Nice review for a thoroughly crappy story. I give it a D+. The only thing keeping it from lower is they got MJ’s character right. But this story has some serious problems.
Like you, I wanted the story on the cover of this issue. I thought it was going to be a doctor in the employ of Beyond trying to kill Peter or something of that sort. This monster int he basement is ridiculous. It seems from the skulls that this has been going on for a while, but that would impossible as well. No way the hospital “loses” that many people and no one has investigated. It’s not like the guy was discerning and taking only people who had no one to miss them.
It also felt short. WAY SHORT. I didn’t do a page count, but it was over when I felt like it just begun. However, that seems to be a blessing for this one.
I do NOT have a problem with the lack of spider-sense. Peter is bad off. He can’t even keep conscious for long. I’m sure that impacts his sense. Plus, that orderly has been increasing his dosage, so that might be dulling the sense as well. That sense was going overtime early due to the poisons in his body, so I’m giving that a pass.
Disappointing story. Nice job, Chi-Town. The review was better than the story.
Happy Festivus to all!
Weird issue. A soft-horror story with a generic monster which I doubt will appear again.
I thought the art actually suited quite well the tone of the story.
It would be hilarious if this was one of those magical problems Dr. Strange appointed Peter to take care of, but he forgot to put on the list.
Honestly the pacing of Beyond is so weird. Everything feels so rushed and poorly thought o out.
I thought coming in that Beyond felt like filler for the new status Quo coming later for whatever reason and reading it I feel I’m right.
Sthenurus: Parker is smart and figured it out, but two peopled died before he fully knew. That Spider-Sense could have informed him and he could have told MJ.
Franz29: What can I say, tis the season to be generous. I’m right there with ya, pal. Want beyond to be over with already.
B- is generous I feel; I’m leaning to a C- at best.
I didn’t like this story all that much and thought the bait and switch on the cover was just plain misleading. Honestly, when I got to the last page of the story I was shocked it was over, I was waiting for something more to happen. I was also puzzled why Peter’s Spider-Sense wasn’t going off or how no-one in the hospital noticed people just going missing. Just too many plot contrivances for me to enjoy the story. Oddly, I actually lamented on a total lack of development for Ben at Beyond here.
The art was just off for a Spider-Man title. As you said, it does fit with what I’d expect on a Batman title.
Can’t wait until Beyond is over. I just hope Peter will be back in the saddle at the end of it. I like Ben, but Peter is the guy I want to see in the webs.
I’m also wondering where Kaine is throughout all of this.
Agree with the B- it was good and refreshing, and I loved the way MJ was written but I had the same problem with the lack of spidersense.
Now on to the endgame…