Either the future is in trouble, or just the year 2099. Either way, Spidey 2099 needs Spidey 2019 in a hurry. Oh, and Doom is pissed. That’s not good for anyone. Find out all that happens here, folks, and let’s dive into ASM #34 together!
Credit Where Credit Is Due
Story Title: Target: Doom!
Writer: Nick Spencer
Artist: Patrick Gleason
Colorist: Matthew Wilson, Dee Cunniffe, and Chris O’Halloran
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga
Cover Artist: Patrick Gleason and Matthew Wilson
Asst. Editor: Kathleen Wisneki
Editor: Nick Lowe
Published: Nov. 20, 2019
Remedial ASM 101
Peter Parker is back in school and one of his classmates has developed a device that can predict possible futures. Spidey 2099 has fallen onto an oil platform, escaped, and is now being chased by Thug 1 and Thug 2. The Hitman has been hired by Chameleon who was hired by Silver Sable’s rival to kill Doom.
The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test
Spidey 2099 has a flashback to how he got here. Apparently, it involved Doom 2099 sending him back to save the timeline. Peter’s new friend and classmate decides to trust Peter with his most ingenious creation in hopes that Peter will improve it, rather than Web-Ware it. Hitman takes the shot and hits Doom. Spider-Man figures out that it is not Doom at all, but yet another Doom Bot. Doom Bots need love too and this one is feeling mighty underappreciated, so it goes on a rampage, calling in hundreds of other Doom Bots to make New York pay. Spidey 2099 appears and tells Spider-Man that he is not just an alternate timeline future, but actual 616 reality and if his world collapses, so does Spidey’s world. Then he fritzes for a minute and blows up.
What Passed and Failed
Nothing really passed or failed as much in this issue. Chameleon did call Symkaria’s leader and American, so I guess he failed there.
I take that back. The guy who did the recap page PASSED because when listing out the colorists by name, he put in the Oxford comma and that will get a bump up from me anytime. Oxford comma for life!
Plus I got a kick out of this woman checking the Doom Bot for a pulse!
OOTI (Onomatopoeia of the Issue)
We get one this time!
On a scale of 1 (POW) to 10 (BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB), CHOOM rates a 6.5.
Analysis
I’ve got nothing, folks. This arc isn’t doing anything for me. It’s not really full 2099 story and it’s not really Peter Parker story. All I got from it is that 2099 is not an alternate universe. Chameleon’s partnership isn’t over with the attack on Doom, so we can expect an all out war to happen and we can obviously tell that the future seeing device that Peter will be working on is going to fail in a very bad way. Peter’s classmate trusting him with this invention sees suspect to me, but maybe I’m being cynical. They guy does love his Web-Ware.
I said it last time and I’ll say it again. This was a poor editorial choice to put six tie-in issues in a block here.
Extra Credit
Please, someone get me excited about this arc. I want to love it. I love Spider-Man. I love Spidey 2099. I love Nick Spencer stories. So why am I so blah here?
Was It Worth More Than…
A little pooping Spider-Man that I could put in a nativity scene? Nope. I would gladly trade the last three issues for one of these guys.
This is a caganer and they are from Catalonia. The figure is of a little boy pooping (or any celebrity you can think of) and it is a tradition for kid to place them into the nativity scene. Parents make a fuss and hide the figure that night and the kids find it and put it back in. My wife’s not yet on board with this tradition, but maybe if I had bought this, I could change her mind…
Final Grade
I didn’t like this, but I don’t out right hate it.
C-
This is my lowest grade and I considered a D+ for a while.
What’s Next?
Nick Lowe has asked people to let the Spider office know how they are doing by sending an email to spideyoffice@marvel.com and to make sure you mark it “OK to print”. If you get published, make sure to draw our attention to it!
‘Nuff Said!
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I dunno if you are gonna cover the other 2099 books this is setting up, but along with this arc so far, my prevailing thought is:
“Who is this for?”
It can’t be for new fans because the presentation of the characters is just baffling unless you already know the old 2099 stuff. And it can’t be for the new fans because it erases the original iteration of the 2099 universe/characters we knew and loved.
“Please, someone get me excited about this arc. I want to love it. I love Spider-Man. I love Spidey 2099. I love Nick Spencer stories. So why am I so blah here?”
I can answer that for you. You see you made the critical mistake of picking up this storyline upon the misguided belief that it was going to be a Peter Parker Spider-Man story and/or a Spider-Man 2099 story.
What this story is in fact is set up and tie-ins for the 2099 event which reboots the line via the Flashpoint/Nu52 method, only with less Mommy issues and more of a focus upon Doctor Doom as the driving force and some of that wonderful Osborn Identity continuity that everyone loved and adored so much.
In all seriousness, Doctor Doom is not a good Spidey villain and never has been. Great villain. But not for Spidey. So his use here and as a huge international threat is underwhelming.
Worse is the treatment of Miguel O’hara. I counted the pages he appears or speaks on across all three issues and they amount to around 17. In a story promoted off the back of him appearing and built up since ASM #826 Miguel has appeared in literally less than one third of it, stumbles around drunk whilst spouting cryptic nonsense for most of that and then gets erased and replaced by a new version that I’m sure will be superior to the original version because that was the case for every Nu52 version of the DC characters.
Like the last 2 issues, the best part of this issue was the art. I just love the way Gleason draws Spider-Man… especially the eyes.
It’s going to be fun seeing Spidey fight an entire army of Doom in the next issue.
@Evan –
1. YES! I wonder why they didn’t do that?
2. Not my intent, but now that you say that, it was perfect. I’m so good, I don’t even realize it sometimes. 🙂
3. I really need to get my hands on one of those. What a crazy tradition!
@Mark — I have only three things to add: (1) Would that panel of the two Spider-men seeing each other be more effective if they shared one dialogue balloon with two tails — i.e., they’re speaking at the same time? When I saw it I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what was intended and that the letterer screwed up.
(2) When you started your OOTI with “We get one this time!” I heard Janine Melnitz in my head.
(3) Regarding the Was It Worth More Than: Even with the mask, it sure looks like Spidey is concentrating really hard.
Maclunkey