Black Cat is back! (In black?) It’s been nearly ten years since Felicia’s last feature debut, but this time she’s got a book all her own. What has she been up to since last teaming up with Spider-Man? Does she have what it takes to challenge the Guild of Thieves? Just what is it that cats have? We’ve got three stories, and only nine lives to get through them all. Let’s do this.

 

 

 

 

What Goes Down

“Thieves Like Us”

Writer: Jed McKay 

Artist: Travel Foreman

Color Artist: Brian Reber

Cover: J. Scott Campbell and Sabine Rich

Letterer: Ferran Delgado

Production Designer: Anthony Gambino

Assistant Editor: Kathleen Wisneski

Editor: Nick Lowe

 

 

 

We open with Felicia crashing some fancy party thrown by nameless socialites whose only value lies in their art collection. Security recognizes her the second she steps foot in the door, and Guard #1, a twitchy guy with tattoos by the name of Sonny Ocampo, tells all guards to be on the lookout. Guard #2, a man with a plan to eat every hors d’oeuvre he sets eyes on, tells Sonny Boy to relax because she’s wearing a dress and heels and that of course neutralizes any threat a woman may present. Bless him. He also reveals that the catering staff brought on last-minute replacements—so last-minute that Sonny didn’t get a chance to vet them. THE PLOT THICKENS and Sonny is upset.

Out on the dance floor, Felicia spots Odessa Drake, current head of the Guild of Thieves, and applies her favorite airbrush tool before popping over to say, “Hey girl hey, I foiled all your plans. What’re you gonna do about it?” Odessa says she’ll pay for violating the guild’s terms, and Felicia responds with her Power Move. By Power Move I mean she uses her retractable nail-claws to eat the olive from Odessa’s martini. Get wrecked. Felicia must have rolled a successful intimidation check because Odessa uses it as an opportunity to retreat from that crushing comeback. To be fair, how do you respond to someone stealing your garnish with their extendable fingernails?

Sonny has seen one too many olives stabbed in his lifetime and goes to escort Ms. Hardy out. Security finds her staring at an ugly painting and she lets them kick her out without a fight. But for Felicia, it’s all according to plan. Meanwhile, her two trusty henchmen—the new catering staff, for those who’ve been paying attention—steal a less-ugly painting while security’s attention is diverted to Felicia. Just goes to show where profiling will get you. Her henchmen pull up in her getaway car and she escapes with a witty one-liner. “Cats have claws, but crooks have crews.” Felicia, what does that even mean? It must have sounded much better in her head.

Felicia introduces her gang. They’re special because they were her very first crew for her very first heist. We have Dr. Boris Korpse, hacker/demolitions/actor extraordinaire, and Bruno Grainger, who has muscles and a driver’s license. Presumably. Felicia reminds us that her first criminal act was breaking her father out of prison so he could die in his home.

As they’re making their getaway through Central Park, Guild of Thieves members jump out of the trees to attack their car. They order her to pull over. Felicia punches one through the moonroof and starts suiting up in the backseat. Boris is supposed to know she’s getting changed and gets yelled at for turning around to ask a question. Felicia says she has a plan, but really, it’s a motivational speech. There’s a difference.

Now suited up as the Black Cat, Felicia kicks ass. Boris puts a gun together while Bruno drives, and they’re just having a good time smashing up ninjas like it’s the 1980s. The art here looks fierce for like three panels until we see that Bruno is actually made of dough. Sonny Ocampo pulls up beside them on a motorcycle and Felicia attempts to flirt. He doesn’t realize she’s using her Feminine Wiles to distract him, so he misses the bridge they turn on to and drives into the river. I don’t think he gets out much.

“tAllY hO yOU MoOkS!” Felicia cries to no one in particular. She affirms through monologue that life is about doing whatever you want and haters gonna hate. This is not going to go well.

 

 

The three of them celebrate a successful heist back at their hideout. Bruno asks what the deal was with the Guild of Thieves, and Felicia suggests they should stay away from her for a while. They insist that she’s the boss and they’re not about to back out yet. Wholesome.

Felicia takes a look at the less-ugly painting and exposits their Lucrative Deal. The mysterious buyer announces his presence. It’s . . .

BLACK FOX 

(not Silver Fox—do not make my embarrassing mistake)

The man who apparently taught her everything she knows, and her father to boot. 

 

“The Ongoing Adventures of the Black Cat and Her Purrfect Purrloiners”

Writer and Artist: Nao Fuji

Felicia robs a jewelry store with her cats and speaks in emojis because cats don’t understand human. One cat brings her diamonds and gets pets. Another brings her a mouse and gets pets. (The mouse gets away. Next time, kitty.) The third cat is sleeping on the job but gets snuggles anyway. After a successful heist, they swing away into the night. 

I love this.

 

 

“Leaving Miami”

Writer: Jed MacKay

Artist: Mike Dowling

Color Artist: Brian Reber

Letterer: Ferran Delgado

Black Fox is playing cards with Dracula. He plans to rob him, and I plan to wax his mustache if he says “Darling” one more time. Black Fox is winning because he’s cheating, something Dracula would apparently never do. In life, the man had a reputation for cruelty worse than Caligula and Nero’s combined, and in undeath, he collected virgins like Pokemon cards. Look me in the eye and tell me he wouldn’t stoop to cheating at cards. TRY HARDER.

A man in a Hawaiian shirt named Bloodstone bursts in to confront Dracula. According to Black Fox, he’s a monster hunter he hired to distract Dracula while he makes off with his loot. Bloodstone crashes through the door and grabs one of the splinters to use as an impromptu stake. I think I like Bloodstone.

 

 

Black Fox jumps out the window. Before I can get my hopes up, he shoots a grappling hook out of his tailored sleeve. That’s not how sleeves or hooks work, but this isn’t the first time I’ve complained about costuming realism in comics, nor will it be the last. The hook, however, is apparently a creation of Walter Hardy’s. Adorbs.

Dracula realizes Black Fox took the money and turns into bats. 

 

 

Black Fox regroups with his crew, Walter and Castillo, and they drive off into the night.

Castillo breaks the news that he and Walt need to be moving on. He plans on heading the New York Thieves Guild, while Walt has a girl named Lydia to woo. Black Fox gives them his blessing, but reminds them they still have to outdrive the Dracula-bats winging after them. 

 

My Thoughts

So here we go. For the past several months, everyone’s been clamoring for my thoughts on the new Black Cat series. After all, I am the Crawlspace’s Official #1 Felicia Stan. Seeing my girl get the attention she has long deserved should be everything I’ve wanted and more—but I’ve been burned in the past. Despite my compulsive cynicism, and my better judgment, I did get pretty excited. It was a new chance to let my queen shine, and to continue Nick Spencer’s good work in salvaging what dignity her character had left. 

Things looked to be off to a good start. Campbell’s cover art looks great as usual (if not a bit waifish), and that first page of Felicia from behind captures every ounce of her style. Then I turned the page. Never have I gone faster from “YES MA’AM” to “Oh . . . damn.” I try not to let bad art get in the way of a good story, but so much of Felicia’s appeal is seeing her strong and confident and oozing charisma. You can’t do that when she looks like Malory Archer after a BOGO on Botox. 

From there, everything went downhill. For some reason, when it comes time to put Felicia front and center in the spotlight, writers instead throw as many irrelevant side characters as they possibly can into the mix. Felicia can’t be interesting on her own; she needs half a dozen other people to fill the space she’s meant to occupy. Don’t even get me started on Black Fox. Marvel, if you want to walk the female empowerment walk, here’s a tip: don’t dedicate the last third of a female-led comic to a random male character. Seriously, it’s a whole ten pages. Also, stop rewriting Felicia’s backstory to give yet another man we’ve never met credit for her motivations and achievements. I suppose it could be worse—they’re not making the point that she’s faster and stronger than him in every way, only for her to pin him against the ceiling while they make out. I utter a banishing spell every new moon to ensure that never happens again. Either way, it’s just so reductive to suddenly take such a self-driven, independent character and make her someone else’s protege. It hits a little far from home, if you catch my drift. 

I know we’re only getting started, but I’ll be incredibly disappointed to see her go the same route Spider-Man only recently stumbled through: being relegated to a side character in her own book. I’m not here to learn how Black Fox influenced Felicia’s criminal career, nor how he beat Dracula in a card game. I’m here to see Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat, the lead of this book, shine. There are some moments I liked—Felicia flexing on Odessa, and being a good Boss Mama to her henchmen—but those are window dressings over a framework I can’t have faith in. It’s still too early to issue final judgment, but from where I’m standing now, I can only see another black mark on the Black Cat’s record.

 

Grade: C– 

(but The Ongoing Adventures now and forever gets an A+)

Lives Remaining: 7