Alford Notes: ASM #14 / 815

How do you stop the Rhino from charging?  Take away his credit cards, of course!  If only it were that easy for our favorite wall-crawling hero.  All this, plus Chi-Town and the mysterious Captain Hobo (could they be one and the same?)!  But wait!  There’s more!  In this issue you also get Black Ant and the Taskmaster!  ‘Nuff Said!

Well, not really ‘nuff said.  Read on!  I’ve got plenty more to say!

 

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Story Title: Family Matters, part 1

Writer: Nick Spencer

Penciler: Chris Bachalo

Inkers: Al Vey, Wayne Faucher, John Livesay, and Tim Townsend

Colorist: Chris Bachalo

Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga

Cover Artist: Ryan Ottley and Nathan Fairbairn

Designer: Anthony Gambino

Asst. Editor: Kathleen Wisneki

Editor: Nick Lowe

Published: Jan. 30, 2019

 

Remedial ASM 101

There is a major character development going on with Aunt May that is revealed in FNSM #1.  Read Chi-Town’s review of that one to get what it is.  Until Spencer spills it in ASM, I won’t here.  Outside of that, Kraven’s been slowly making his way toward New York, Black Ant and  Taskmaster have been collecting animal themed villains, and Spider-Man has been acting a lot like Spider-Man.

 

The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test

Kraven’s back!  He was promised all the way back year and it must have been a long walk for him, but he’s here and he’s hiring Arcade to build him “something”.  A big Kraven, perhaps?  Meanwhile, Peter and Mary Jane are dining in the sewers with Curt Connorssssss and hissss Lizzzard family.  Things go… well enough.  Little Billy wants to go to school and that causes some tableside drama.  Meanwhiling the meanwhile, Aunt May is both being hit on by JJJ Sr.’s lawyer while also being told that she is broke over dinner at a swanky restaurant.  May reacts…aggressively to the lawyer and goes out and kicks the butt of some hooligans who are harassing a homeless man.  After May returns to the restaurant, this time with homeless man in tow, the Rhino comes barging in.  Taskmaster and Black Any follow next and when Taskmaster threatens to pull his sword on May, Spidey swings in, teams up with Rhino, and unleashes a fight scene that results, presumably, in the death of Aunt May!

 

What Passed

The fight scenes!  I love a good superhero/villain fight scene and we get a pretty good one here between Spider-Man and the Taskmaster.  If you don’t know, Taskmaster has the ability to watch anyone fight and duplicate their ability.  Of course, he cannot duplicate the spider-strength, spider-sense, and wall-sticky ability, but with Spidey’s skills, plus others he’s duplicated over the years, he is able to hold his own.  At no time do we believe that his fighting skills alone will be able to completely take down Spidey, but he doesn’t need to.  He is just more or less serving as a distraction.

While that fight is going on, we get this one between the Rhino and Black Ant:

The jokes and dialogue – They are just as good as ever.

Aunt May – I like Aunt May scaring off the hoods with her hologram projection safety-tech from Parker Industries.  Aunt standing up in the face of danger is always a welcome sight.

 

OOTI (Onomatopoeia of the Issue)

Finally!  This issue is packed with onomatopoeias to choose from!

On a scale of 1 (POW) to 10 (BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB), THOOM rates an 8.

 

What Failed

The art –  I heard people complaining when the previews were released and I will say that while I am not completely disgusted with the art, it is far from my favorite.

That’s Peter, by the way.  It is not the worst art we’ve had since my run here reviewing, but it does hamper the enjoyment a bit.  I’m wondering how much of it is the artist and how much of it is the multiple inkers.  I’m sure Neil will be able to better address that.

Aunt May – I did NOT like her reaction to the lawyer’s romantic advances upon her.  I felt it was a bit extreme to embarrass him like that in front of everybody.  Did anyone else feel that was a bit overly dramatic for her?

However, to be fair, she did crack a policeman in the head with a sign board once, so I guess this is staying in character?  I’ve just always liked it better when she was able to find a classier way to protect herself.

 

Analysis

Aunt May’s character arc?  Not sure.  We’ve seen Spencer break down Peter and Spidey’s character, JJJ’s character, MJ’s character (somewhat), Black Cat’s character, and I guess it is now Aunt May’s turn?  With the big reveal in FNSM #1, there are definitely big things in store for Aunt May and contribution.  There are also major possible ripple effects that could happen from that reveal, but until Spencer breaches it in ASM, I’ll not go into it.

It appears that the homeless man is someone important.  Aunt May is drilling in on who his is and finally we get this reveal:

It seems too important to reveal that this man had a life before that seems more like a dream than reality.  I’m thinking this has got to be Ned Leeds, or rather, the clone of Ned Leeds.  We get references to the Clone Conspiracy earlier in the text and the last time we saw Ned was him walking away as a homeless person.  I assume that we may get some redemptive arc for him and he starts work with Nora, Peter, and JJJ at whatever it is she is trying to get them to do.  Smart money says open a new news organization, but it could equally be running a smuggling operation.  Well, maybe not equally….

 

Extra Credit

We know that, more than likely, they are not going to kill such a major character in this manner, so it is up to you.  Be creative!  The assignment is that Nick Spencer is going to pull a Stan Lee and leave you with Aunt May exploding to bits much like he left Roy Thomas with Peter having six arms.  How would YOU keep May alive?

My theory?  There is still Golden Oldie residual power in her and this explosion brings it to the forefront.  She not only survives, but she rescues the entire restaurant all while shouting that famous Parker phrase, “Oh dear!  This is crazy town banana pants!”  Surely you can do better than that.

 

Final Grade

I love this story and would give the story an A, but the art was too distracting, so I’m pulling it down to a:

B+

Your Turn

What grade do YOU give it?

But Wait!  There’s More!

We have a letters page this issue!  Not only do we have a letters page, but our very own Chi-Town got yet ANOTHER letter printed.  You can read the whole letter by clicking the thumbnail below.  The letter also has a picture of the who Chi-Town family, but thankfully Chi-Town’s face is covered by a mask.

I’m interested in two parts of his letter.  The first one is:

So now I’m debt to Chi-Town for getting the name Centidemon out there.  Since they printed it and did not correct it, I’m claiming canon status.  No hyphen, though, Chi-Town!  Plus, you’re wrong on both guesses.  Then the letter gets very interesting because he throws MY name into the letter (which always makes things more interesting):

I may have, once or twice, laid blame upon Chi-Town for the lack of letters pages in the past few issues.  The big question, though, is what did the editorial staff have to say about the accusation?

YES!  I WAS RIGHT!  Take that, bunky! I won’t be letting that go anytime soon!

 

What’s Next?

• Aunt May is in danger and only Spider-Man can help her…
• …You think you know where a story like this is going, but you DON’T.
• Because Taskmaster and Black Ant are on the scene, and they don’t have a problem with collateral damage.

 

Nick Lowe has asked people to let the Spider office know how they are doing by sending an email to spideyoffice@marvel.com and to make sure you mark it “OK to print”.  If you get published, make sure to draw our attention to it!

 

‘Nuff Said!