Cobwebs #55: Crawlspaceverse! Two Alternate Spideys that SHOULD be in Spidergeddon

Folks, I’m coming to you from our mostly-waterproof concrete flood bunker deep in the heart of North Carolina.  Brad hooked me up to a generator and says that I can continue to use it to power the pump to remove water once I get this article up.  So let me take a deep breath and get on with the post!
*
With the upcoming Spider-geddon, several of the columnist are having a little crossover fun and taking a look at history through the multiverse lens.  This week, we look at two non-Peter Spideys that I feel really should have had a role in Spider-verse and in the upcoming Spider-geddon (but I know they won’t).
*
Spider-verse takes us deep into the issues of What If?, a place I am very happy to dwell in.  And why not?  It’s very roots began with Spider-Man because, as we all know, no matter what Marvel does, it is always the Spider-Man related issues that sells best (2099, Ultimate, MC2…).
*
I’ll start with an alternate Spidey that should have been in the first Spider-verse and follow up with one that should be in Spider-geddon.

Kraven the Spider-Man

This one takes us to What If? #17 vol 2, which is not currently available on Marvel Unlimited, but will one day soon (as soon as they read this captivating post, I’m sure).

The idea is that we have a Kraven that didn’t just tranq Spidey and bury him alive in order to prove he could be a better Spider-Man, we have a Kraven that killed Spider-Man and took on the mantle for good.  The story is quite interesting and we have a few scenes of note.  Like this one of MJ actually realizing that the man in the costume was not her husband (unlike an actual canon story…).

And this scene when MJ goes to tell Aunt May the truth and May’s blinders go up so hard that she kicks MJ out of her life.

The story goes on to have MJ go to the Torch to ask for help tracking down her husband.  All three see Spider-Man in action (well, see may not be the appropriate word) and all come to the conclusion that  this is not the real Spidey.  Don’t you hate it when a What If? is more in character than 616?  Here’s where the story gets interesting.

Cap, DD, and Torch go on a mission to stop Kraven.  Kraven, needing more spider-essence, stops consuming spiders and goes straight for the source.  He exhumes the body and gives us this panel which looks as if it was ripped straight from an old EC horror comic.

MJ goes on a mission to reveal to the world what a great man her husband was, both as Peter Parker and as Spider-Man.

JJJ goes on a mission to show that not only is Spider-Man a menace, but all superheroes are.  Since Spider-Kraven attacked him, he has some sympathy ears to get his message across.  In this world, there is a sort of Superhuman Registration Act type idea that stops all super-powered justice, even with the government sanctioned Avengers.  OK, the ending may have gone a bit too far, but we are left with the idea that this may be just a temporary bump in the road for the heroes of this universe.

Missed Opportunity?

You bet it is!  This issue ends with Kraven being locked away as irrevocably insane.  But come on!  This is comics!  Kraven isn’t going to stay in a straightjacket and padded room for long.  So here’s how I see it.  Kraven eventually escapes and continues his quest.  He is still plagued by his obsession with zoophagia, so he not only consumes what is left of Spider-Man’s body, but has been picking off smaller super heroes to build up his powers.

Now, bring this guy into Spider-verse, where there are thousands of Spider-Men for him to feast upon.  So he is there, working with them, but picking them off one by one for his own purposes. Plus, imagine the fight scene we would have when Superior Spider-Man and Spider-Kraven finally match up!  Sup Spidey should kick his butt, but maybe there is some merit in how he has consumed bodies for extra strength!

It’s not too late, though, for the powers that be to bring him into Spider-geddon.  I’ll be watching!  Plus, we were promised every Spider-Man ever ….

 

Flash Thompson as Spider-Man

Check out the word tintinnabulating!  I thought only Poe ever used it!

In What If? #7 vol. 1, three people gained the power of Spider-Man instead of Peter Parker.  In one story, JJJ bursts in to the science demonstration for a photo op and it is his son that gets the spider bite.  In another, JJJ bursts in and it is Betty who gets the spider bite (she made a spider-verse appearance in that awful costume), but the first story has Flash bursting in (cause comics) to impress his girls that he, too, can be a man of science.  When he gets bit, he becomes woozy and leaves with his girls.  The car almost hits him and he throws it instead of jumping out of the way.  He decides to get in the ring with Crusher (I miss Bone Saw) and kills him by accident.  The police are after him, so he goes on the run, but figures that he’s always been the hero type on the football field, might as be a hero for real. So after stealing a costume from a store, Flash becomes Captain Spider!

He does a good job at it, too, taking out the Chameleon, the Tinkerer, and several generic hoodlums.  It is the Vulture, though, that gets him.

However, Peter Parker had been admitting this hero and following him around, so when he finds the body of Flash, he decides to inject himself with the venom of the same spider that bit Flash (because of course he kept it for a possible research paper topic!) and becomes Spider-Man!

OK, so I know what you are thinking.  Your saying to yourself, “Well, duh, Dark Mark.  He’s dead!  He can’t be in the Spider-verse-geddon thing.  Au contraire, mon frère!*  As we saw in What If? #21 vol 1, when the Fantastic Five make a return visit, that alternate universes spawn alternate universes.  In fact there is one with a spider-powered Flash that lived – What If? #76 vol 2 – but that one has Flash being a criminal and bullying Peter Parker into making him webbing.

My Modest Proposal**

Let’s have a version of the original Captain Spider that survived his fall (I don’t know, maybe he fell into a trash bin full of those Styrofoam peanuts or something) and continued to fight the good fight.  He can join up to take on Morlun and his gang.  Imagine the potential of a good page or two as Peter gets to see his friend again so soon after his 616 death.  If nothing else, it should make for a good page or two of story and a nice nod to this long time supporting cast member.

 

So that’s my contribution to the Crawlspaceverse crossover.  Click those  links and read those comics (one or two of them are just place holders until Marvel Unlimited gets them scanned).  They’re good ones to get you ready for Spider-geddon!

 

 

 

*Didn’t know I was bilingual, huh?

**This one doesn’t involve eating babies

 

‘Nuff Said!