OK, Spiderphiles! Because you demanded it, here’s another symbiote story! With the resounding success of Venom, Inc., I must say that I am all aflutter about getting started on this latest edition! We’ve got Flash! We’ve got Carnage! We’ve got Agent Anti-Venom! What more could any fan want? Anti-Excelsior!
The Devil in the Details
Story Title: Higher Priorities: Threat Level Red Part 3
Writer: Dan Slott and Christos Gage
Penciler: Mike Hawthorne
Inker: Terry Pallot and Cam Smith
Colorist: Erick Arciniega
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga
Cover Artist: Alex Ross
Editor: Nick Lowe
Published: February 21, 2018
Remedial ASM 101
Norman Osborn, in an attempt to get rid of the anti-goblin nano-doohickeys in his system, has launch an elaborate scheme to bond with the Carnage symbiote.
The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test
Flash Thompson is now Anti-Venom and everyone in New York loves him. He does a better job than another superhero, plus his suit can heal people when they are hurt. Liz Allen wants him to be her security at power display since the new power source they have is precious tritium that was used in a bomb statue during the annual. Peter takes a reporter with him to cover the scene for the science department of the Daily Bugle. Goblin King (Phil Urich) comes in with henchgoblins to steal it, they make way too many hand puns, and in the end, Spidey, with help from Anti-Venom and JJJ, saves the day. Peter and MJ talk and Norman gains control of Carnage.
What Passed:
This joke from Boomerang:
I also appreciate the fact that Spectacular Spider-Man is acknowledged. I don’t like the identity reveal to JJJ, but at least Slott is being consistent with the other writer.
What Failed:
In this case, this issue was a death by a thousand cuts for me. Not one of these things was enough to kill it, but even my natural optimism wasn’t enough to push these offenses to the side again. So in the spirit of Mark Twain, here are the literary offenses of Slott in issue 796:
Severed hand puns
I have to HAND it to Slott, he can make a pun, but the innocent guy got his hand cut off. Flash points out that it is bad form to make that joke when the villain makes it. Then we proceed to spend the next several panels making that joke again and again. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good pun. Here’s one, “She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she had to break it off,” and “I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.” I also don’t mind grinding a pun into the ground, but we have the rookie hero pointing out the fact that the guy who just was dismembered is down there hearing all of this and Spidey continues to “up his banter” to the point where Flash joins in.
Whose book is this anyway?
It’s been the mantra of Slott critics since the start. Spidey is not the hero of his book. I don’t even need to elaborate here. I get Anti-Venom being in this issue. I’m sure we’re going to need his Anti-Venom to help stop Red Goblin later. It wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t an every issue thing. In this issue, not only do we have a guest star that helps our hero, but even JJJ saves the day. Let me repeat that – SPIDER-MAN NEEDS J. JONAH JAMESON TO AVOID GETTING HIS BUTT KICKED BY GOBLIN KING.
On top of that, after all these years of guest starring in his own book, Spidey doesn’t even understand how team ups work.
Yes, Spidey, that is exactly how a team up works. Divide the load. One goes to save the innocent while the other fights the bad guy. When Anti-Venom left, it would be the perfect time for Spidey to make quick work of these Goblin wannabes, but instead he just gets pounded into the ground. At one point Spidey could swing into the X-Men book and beat them all down. Today, I doubt he could handle Dazzler by himself.
Filler
Give me a part of a story or give me a story. I didn’t mind the Loki issue too much (magical favor aside) because it was a story unto itself while also progressing toward the bigger story. I don’t need nor do I want every issue to be a major story. But this one is just a minor incident that is just build up toward the big story. It feels like a Marvel Netflix episode 8 and 9 of 15. There is not enough story here to get us to issue 800, so we just need to spin our wheels a bit.
The MJ Tease – again.
If Slott doesn’t want these two together, that’s fine. If Marvel wants to do a tease to get readers talking online, that’s fine. Both of these things have already been clearly established. To go back to this for another cheap Internet buzz is cheap storytelling. It is becoming a horror movie that only has jump scares. Imagine going to watch Jaws and the shark never actually appears, just a series of sound teases.
It’s this constant return that rubs me the wrong way. I don’t even believe it is Slott giving the fans a middle finger as much as it is just a ploy to get people to generate buzz. It’s insulting to the reader base to keep doing it. We had this before Superior Spider-Man. We had this during Superior Spider-Man. We visited this recently with the Iron Man crossover. Now on his way out, we have to make sure that you got it.
We all know that the door closing panel means that Peter and the girl behind the door are “holding hands”, but I dare say that is clearly not what is going on here. Next issue Peter and MJ are going to realize that they just aren’t made for one another. Again.
The thing that really kills me about this is that Marvel knows MJ sells. They put her on variant covers. When she appears in ASM, they use those panels to sell the work. So if I am the editor and I know this what fans want I need to either, a. give the fans what they want, or b. remove her so that the issue isn’t brought up. Heck, I’d even take c. make her a supporting side character with no mention of romance.
Maybe I’m being unfair on Slott here for judging this interchange based on things I think are going to happen next issue, but after ten years of this tease then nope crap, I have no reason to think otherwise.
Slott is better than this.
We know the guy can write. We know the guy can come up with new and fresh ideas like nobody’s business. That’s what makes this last ten year run all the more offensive. Go back and look at that Mark Twain link. You’ll see where Slott and Fennimore Cooper have quite a bit in common. But the thing is, he can craft excellent stories. That’s why everyone wanted him on the title to begin with. Go back and listen to that interview he did with the Crawlspace when he first go the title. So much excitement on all sides.
Art – I cannot lay this one at Slott’s feet. Hawthorne’s superheroes are fantastic. His people, on the other hand…
Who are these people? If the book didn’t tell me that it was MJ and Peter Parker, I would not have known. Especially Peter. You know, the protagonist of this book. And what’s up with that eyebrow?
According to the website Lean In, to avoid sexual harassment, one of the things a boss needs to do is, “Avoid smiling or raising your eyebrows at inappropriate moments.” That is certainly a “come hither” eyebrow and I think Betty has a case on her hands.
Analysis:
All this story does is set up the players for the real story. Goblin King and gang are going to be in it, presumably so that Slott can take his Goblin off the checklist soon.
Phil Urich removed from the playing field – not yet
Norman’s face is returned to normal – check
The most interesting part about all of this is something that I don’t think is being set up intentionally. Norman wants to be able to get the goblin formula so that he can be crazy again. But anyone who goes to this degree to embrace madness is NOT sane. I think the fact that he is even considering bonding with Carnage shows that the formula is not what makes Norman unstable. He already is. He always was, except his has mostly been a calculating insanity.
Extra Credit:
I’d rather read high school term papers than issues like this. Be good or be bad. This piddling issue of mehness is worse. If you can give me any sense of excitement for this issue, I entreat you to lay it on me. If you can find anything positive that will make me feel better about this issue, mega-extra credit to you (outside of “it was better than Amazing Grace”).
In all seriousness, I am sincerely asking to hear from anyone who enjoyed this story. You found something in it I didn’t and I really want to hear it.
Final Grade:
I don’t hand these out lightly here, but I must go with
F
Your Turn:
What grade do YOU give it?
Just give a letter grade or expostulate if you’d like.
What’s Next?
‘Nuff Said!
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I’m clinging to the hope Slott corrects his wrong and brings MJ and Peter back together, or at least opens the door for Spencer to re-write the marriage.
I didn’t mind Anti-Venom being in the issue. My problem was giving him funny lines like Spider-Man. He needs his own personality. Also, regarding Flash, does he have prosthetics now?
I’m loving the the Green Carnage – two of my favorite villains coming together as one. Should be interesting.
I like the issue – seeing more of Peter’s personal life, the return of MJ, the dialogue seems better than it has been. I got more of an old-school (90s) Spidey vibe rather than another Slott rush job.
Thanks Mark! And sorry for posting the same comment twice. The first time my comment didn’t appear and that’s why I sent it again.
@Fabio – Wow! Great memory! If that is indeed an homage to that scene AND they are laying down a foundation to rebuild their friendship/relationship, then that gets a 10. If they are referencing that and it is just a “Nope! Not meant for each other!”, then it gets a 0.
But you, sir, get all the extra credit for that astute observation!
I think the panel with the “KLICK” is a reference to the final panels of The Amazing Spider-Man #122 & #149, written by Gerry Conway. These two comics are very important in the story of Spider-Man because they show a major change in Mary Jane and Peter. The final panel of The Amazing Spider-Man #122 shows a sign of maturity in MJ deciding to stay with Peter to support his loss. And the final panel of The Amazing Spider-Man #149 shows that Peter’s love for MJ is greater than his love for Gwen. At the end of the original clone saga, Peter decides to leave behind the past and face adulthood. And the symbol of that new and adult life is Mary Jane, and he decides to stay with her.
@ Neil – I did it just for you. I’m all heart. Besides, from my memory, you are constantly talking tough, but turning around and giving these things from a B- to an A+ . Old Positive Neil is what they call you on the podcast.
@Know-It-All Vic – Yes! Validation! But don’t go bouncing off the title – then there be no reason to keep reading the reviews Positive Neil and I put up!
@Enigma – Five issues and counting. (How come I get the feeling that there are going to be some weird .1 issues or something that keeps this going longer than expected…)
I’m treating Slott’s tenure here like Trump’s presidency. Don’t give a d*mn about it, can’t understand people who do, and I’m just waiting for it to be over.
I think the panel with the “KLICK” is a reference to the final panels of The Amazing Spider-Man #122 & #149, written by Gerry Conway. These two comics are very important in the history of Spider-Man because they show a major change in Mary Jane and Peter. The final panel of The Amazing Spider-Man #122 shows a sign of maturity in MJ deciding to stay with Peter to support his loss.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/nRaKY3-TWYCv8k620cTvVubs6iiZDyxw1yF1ZM1FERUjiReQH8K08jJs0z0M-lXpA0qv7gi3cgmj=s1600
And the final panel of The Amazing Spider-Man #149 shows that Peter’s love for MJ is greater than his love for Gwen. At the end of the original clone saga, Peter decides to leave behind the past and face adulthood. And the symbol of that new and adult life is Mary Jane, and he decides to stay with her.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/IMqBVQzMjyBA79BMzZ-FGOJpAjWM0HqKH77DtdYALW_M3S-2xLoV7uf5PDge4Vw_24Dl6vl9DQdv=s1600
Well… The art in the preview was better than the art for the rest of the issue — there was no consistency between the caracters’s faces, and some of them even lacked structure (you know, that “under-drawing” that folks like Immonen have, where even if they don’t draw every line of a character, you know where all of it is supposed to be). Spidey is useless without help from somebody. Everybody has a pun in their hearts. I’m now only reading this so I can have some context for the Stuart Immonen issues and for the review episodes of the podcast. Once Immonen bounces off the title, so will I. For grades, I’ll go with an F as well.
Whoa there, Mark! Who’re you calling Negative Neil now?
This is the first time in a VERY long time where my grade’ll actually be HIGHER than yours! This is… wew, Mark. I’m honored to be given this great honor.
Opinions coming soon, I guess.
@Evan – I was so distressed, I didn’t even get any onomatopoeia joy this issue. We will go with the KLIK of the door. I’ll be nice and jump it up to a 2. 🙂
@Chi-Town Spidey – I’m rooting for your hopefulness to be correct. I don’t need the marriage back. I just want them to stop working so hard to make us believe that they are not meant to be together. Either let them get along or keep them apart.
I see Mark’s point and they are valid. I too gave this a C+ mostly because the scenes of Mary Jane and Peter and Mary Jane. They were the only thing that kept this issue (for me) to fail.
I DO however see your point. We have seen the “MJ tease” or “red carrot” being dangled to boost sales, variant covers, ect..and nothing good comes from it. We are all wiser now to know better and Slott has admitted that he LIES, because “that’s what good story tellers do, they lie.”
Honestly, I almost gave this a C- or D because Peter was SO OUT OF CHARACTER even within the Peter/MJ scenes, but gave it the “+” because the last scene with them, a hopeful Spider-Marriage fan pulls though, we all theorize and expect what’s to come.
At least Amazing Grace had awesome onomatopoeia. What was the OOTI this time? Was it the “KLIK” of the door closing? That’s a .5.
@ Joshua & Shaun – All valid points and after sleeping on my review . . . I’m keeping the F. But, I know why this hit me so wrong. I’m usually good at ignoring Slott fatigue, but this going back to the MJ well one more time just to say they aren’t right for each other is too irritating. Of course that hasn’t happened yet, so my irritation is not fully valid. But I’m feeling pretty psychic here and I can’t enjoy this issue because of it. However, should both JR and George give this one at least a C, I will consider hanging up my website and just stick to Cobwebs.
I still want more people to convince me that this issue has merits that I am overlooking. I don’t like being in the F camp here.
I also like Phil more after Silk and think Hawthorne is the weak link here. His faces and heroes really put me off and there was not enough background detail to maje ul for it.
Damn dude. This is ome of my favorite issues in recent memory. Flash is great, MJ is profiled in a positive light, Norman is crazy, the feet of strength and Boomerang jokes were solid, and having Jonah save Peter is something I have never seem before and rather enjoyed.
I agree with Josh in grade. Sorry you hated this so much.
Well then…allow me to explain why I actually kind of liked this comic.
For starters, I actually liked the scenes between Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson. Instead of making her obnoxious and unlikable like he did during Power Play (still his worst story to date in my opinion), Slott instead reminds readers why Peter and Mary Jane are such a popular couple in the first place. There was a natural chemistry between them throughout the entire comic.
Another positive is actually Norman Osborn. I lamented about his stupidity last issue for assuming he could control the Carnage symbiote, but that has been partially corrected here. Norman uses his brains to talk the Carnage symbiote into letting him be in control and even manages to get rid of the nano-machines that have been prohibiting the Goblin formula in his blood! I doubt the symbiote will allow him to remain in charge, but it was still nice to see Norman gain the upper hand–even if it most likely is only temporarily.
I’m also glad that other writers are starting to acknowledge the fact that J. Jonah Jameson now knows who Spider-Man is. They’re still not doing much with this potential-filled revelation, but it’s a start.
Despite the pros, this was far from a perfect issue. I really didn’t see the point of Anti-Venom this issue and he only served to steal the spotlight away from Spider-Man…again. I’ve never liked Anti-Venom no matter who is assuming the identity, so his presence always brings the story down somewhat for me.
Speaking of characters I don’t like, we are “treated” to the not so triumphant return of Phil Urich a.k.a. The Goblin King (which I still think is a stupid name). The obnoxiousness of his character continued with his incessant bad puns, so that’s definitely a negative. That being said, it was pretty satisfying to see Spidey kick him in the throat.
The artwork by Mike Hawthorne was definitely better this time around, so that’s another plus. Stuart Immonen is definitely the better of the two, but Hawthorne is growing on me a little.
Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this issue. Don’t get me wrong, I still expect it to go off the rails by the end with Slott’s track record, but we aren’t there yet so I’ll have to reserve final judgement until then. But for now, I’m actually going to give this comic a relatively solid grade.
GRADE: B- (maybe a C+ if I’m being critical)