It’s Amazing Spider-Man #1…again. IS THIS A BRAND NEW START FOR THE WEBCRAWLER…again? WILL THIS ISSUE TOTALLY CHANGE THE STATUS QUO…again? WILL THIS BE THE BEST SPIDER-MAN ISSUE SINCE SUPERIOR….read the review and find out.

Writer: Dan Slott
Pencils: Giuseppe Camuncoli
Inks: Cam Smith
Colorist: Marte Gracia
Cover Artist: Alex Ross
Letters: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Editor: Nick Lowe

The Last Time:
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Will Sliney
Coloritst: Frank D’Armata
Letters: VC’s Cory Petit

Breaking Bad:
Writer: Robbie Thompson
Artist: Stacey Lee
Colorist: Ian Herring
Letters: VC’s Travis Lanham

What To Expect:
Wrtier: Dennis Hopeless
Penciler and Colorist: Javier Rodriguez
Inks: Alvaro Lopez
Letters: VC’s Travis Lanham

Churh and (Quantum) State:
Writer: Mike Costa
Pencils: David Baldeon
Inks: Scott Hanna
Colorist: Jason Keith
Letters: VC’s Joe Caramagna

The Cellar:
Writer: Dan Slott and Christos Gage
Artist: Paco Diaz
Colorist: Israel Silva
Letters: VC’s Joe Caramagna

PLOT: Our issue begins with a commercial for Parker Industries new hot “apple watch” ripoff titled Webware, its connecting the world and even has Spider-Man as the official mascot. From here we cut to a car chase in Shanghai between the Zodiac and Spider-Man. Spidey is joined by Mockingbird and they are attempting to recover stolen equipment from Parker Industries. You find out that Peter has been making equipment for SHIELD via a conversation with Nick Fury about what do to once the stolen equipment is recovered. Spidey and Mockingbird manage to take down the Scorpio gang and Spidey stops one of of the members from committing suicide in order to interogate them. Once they head back to Parker Industries we meet Spidey’s newest love interest Lian Tang who taught him how to drive, and how to speak the language. We discover Spider-Man is being titled as Peter’s bodyguard, which leads to some hectic situations when they need Peter Parker for a press conference. Peter Parker gives a speech after changing in an elevator about the new upcoming projects for Parker Industries. The Uncle Ben Foundation is a new charity group, and he difuses questions of him being a poor mans Tony Stark by stating he is only paid the amount of a mid management executive. We then find out he did the entire speech with his fly undone.

On a flight back to San Francisco we discover that Peter has hired Hobbie Brown aka The Prowler to act as Spider-Man when he’s not around in order to ensure no one figures out his secret identity. We discover Peter is flying back to San Francisco in order to attend the wedding of Max Model and Hector. After the wedding we find out a little more about who’s in charge of what in the large Parker Industries. Sajani is running the Europe Branch, Peter is presumably running the Asian Branch, and Max Model with Hector are in charge of the West Coast operations. Peter gives them a wedding present by revealing the newly opened Horizon University in an attempt to make up for Horizon Labs getting lost in the Alchemax merger. In a dance with Sajani, Peter reveals that he knows it was her who helped Black Cat try to destroy Parker Industries and ensures she never tries that again. Before long a group of the Scorpio group attacks the wedding leading to a fight with the Hobbie Brown Spider-Man. Hobbie Brown is on the ropes until Peter gives them the piece of Technology they were looking to retrieve. Peter reveals he set up an encryption on the device.

In Europe we see an angry Sajani request Anna Maria to gather the senior executives in order to hasten the reveal of the nanotech they’ve been working on. Here we discover The Living Brain has been updated, and now has the mind of Doctor Octopus within him.

The Last Time: Spider-Man 2099 is angry, Spider-Man offers him a job.

Breaking Bad: SILK stops a robbery, and is working with Black Cat.

What To Expect: Spider-Woman is pregnant. Still fights crime.

Church and (Quantum) State: Web Warriors stop old timey Sinister Six variant.

The Cellar: Rikers has been taken over by Regent who is killing supervillains and taking over the powers.

STORY: This is the second Spider-Man #1 I’ve reviewed in my time at Crawlspace, and I’m happy to say this issue is already off to a much better start than the last volume. The last volume really dragged, and seemed to not have any idea of what it wanted to do or say. This volume seems to have a singular idea and purpose. It is the natural extension of what Slott wanted to investigate in Big Time, and really you could just skip the last volume in its entirety. This is Peter Parker hitting it big, and yet it isn’t really an original idea. The comparisons to Iron Man are apt, and yes Slott even goes so far as to point it out in the issue. Just because you are self aware however doesn’t mean you aren’t ripping off a plot. I mean going so far as to have Spider-Man be Peter’s bodyguard is really stretching the believability of the story. Do they all forget that Tony Stark WAS Iron Man wouldn’t everyone instantly have their suspicions about his identity.

The biggest issue with this issue is the dialogue. For some reason comics today are opposed to having editor boxes so we have characters speaking in ways that no human being should be talking solely so they can deliver exposition. Slott can do great story outlines but for me he always flubbs the dialogue it comes off extremely clumsy. My biggest problem with this issue is that it treats the reader like they’re stupid. It doesn’t let you gradually get drawn into the world it just explains every little plot thread and idea. We don’t need dialogue like “I prefer Prowlin” to understand he used to be the Prowler, and the last page of the issue doesn’t leave you with a mystery it holds your hand all the way to the conclusion. Did we need to see Ock’s reflection in The Living Brain’s eyes? Was that a shock to anyone? Read the dialogue its quite clear.

It was nice to see a new version of the Spider-Mobile which looks really cool, and the new Spider-Man costume is really fun. You can tell Slott is really into TRON but come on Tron is awesome. It was nice to see Max Model get married, and to see some more modern aspects in Spider-Man but the whole thing seems a little tacked on. I found it hard to care because I never really thought Model was much of an actual character he always seemed very one note to me. If you are a fan of the character however you’ll enjoy the fact that the character wasn’t left to mystery. That is the one benefit of having a single writer on a book for such an lengthy amount of time side, characters will get followed up on and used.

Best moments of the issue by far are Peter’s quip: “Kraven’s nipples called. They want your face back”, and Hobbie Brown completely flubbing the attempt at Spider-Man quippage.

Oh and the extra money you are shelling out for all of the backup stories? NOT WORTH IT. They all amount to advertisements with only the final story actually affecting the core story, but okay I will shortly give my opinions on all of them.

The Last Time: Spider-Man 2099 says “what the hell happened to this city?”…you know what does happen to this city…you’re from the future. The rest of the story is just setup, and has nothing to offer. However it doesn’t bother to tell you if the little girl makes it, which is troubling.

Breaking Bad: The artwork was really cool, and you find out the Goblin Nation is still around which is interesting. However Silk working with Black Cat doesn’t really interest me that much.

What To Expect: I am always uncomfortable when comics introduce Pregnant characters. Mostly due to the historically poor handling of every character who gets pregnant ever. I’ll read the story only if I know for a fact that when the story ends she doesn’t have something horrible happen to the baby.

Church and (Quantum) State: Its more of the same as far as Spider-Verse tie-ins go. They dispatch a quite version of the sinister six super quickly and nothing much of note happens. I’d read it in a trade format because there is a good lineup of Spider-people within it but this short story really doesn’t do anything surprising. There is a hint at possibly the multiverse electro’s teaming up, but of all the multiversal Spider-Foes I’d like to see Electro is low on the list.

The Cellar: Oh joy the best part of Renew your vows is coming to main continuity…said no one ever.

OVERALL: If you don’t like this issue or this storyline don’t worry they’ll reboot in a year, and there is a whole catalogue of Spider-Man done in the old style. If you are looking for something a little different from the web-head and are willing to give it a chance you’ll find a fun read.

B-