Ultimate Spider-Man Season Two, Episode Twenty-Three “Second Chance Hero” Review

Norman Osborn is a changed man! His days as the cackling maniacal Goblin (and bad father) are done! Or are they? If you left the Iron Man 3 theater thinking: “That movie would have been better with more Iron Patriot!”, then this episode is for you! Except not really. This isn’t Don Cheadle. You didn’t read Dark Reign? Shame on you.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN Season Two, Episode Twenty-Three

“Second Chance Hero”

Written By: Anonymous (The writer was not credited for some reason.)

THE PLOT: We begin with Peter Parker and Harry Osborn playing some sort of holographic Fin Fang Foom board game with Harry’s dad, former Goblin Norman Osborn. It turns out that Peter has been tasked by Nick Fury to keep an eye on Norman to make sure that his Goblin cure will be permanent. After losing, Norman heads off to his lab and Spider-Man quickly follows. Reaching the lab, Spider-Man sees who appears to be Iron Man at first, but soon realizes that this is actually Norman in his new homemade armor. Spidey attempts to confront the new self-proclaimed Iron Patriot before he flies off to meet the Frightful Four. Peter assumes that this is Norman’s new evil plan, building a suit and becoming a part of the Frightful Five. But Iron Patriot begins to blast his repulsors at them, and reveals that he is now going to be a super hero. (?) Spidey naturally doesn’t believe him, and the conflict eventually breaks down to the two of them. Norman ends up saving some lives in the process, and he tells Spider-Man that he has made mistakes and wants to become a better man. Later, Peter and Harry get caught in the rain again, and Norman picks them both up in his limo. He is now much kinder to Harry, and he promises to always be there for his son from now on. When news of the Iron Patriot suit reaches Nick Fury, he is less than pleased. He orders Spider-Man to bring Osborn into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody, despite Peter’s attempts to explain that Norman seems legitimately changed. Spider-Man swings to Norman’s lab, and the new Iron Patriot immediately submits to arrest, as he needs to “make amends” with S.H.I.E.L.D. At that moment, symbiotic Spider-Soldiers (yes, you read that correctly) climb up the building to attack them. They are followed by a hologram projection of Doctor Octopus (think Darth Sidious), who says that he has finally finished Norman’s work by mixing the Venom DNA with the Goblin armor technology, creating an army of Spider-Soldiers. Walking in at the exact wrong moment, Harry enters to bring his dad a pizza. Spidey runs Harry to an elevator, and Iron Patriot stays to fight, blowing all of the minions to kingdom come. After the action, Nick Fury shows up to tell Osborn that his one eye will be kept on him until he helps bring Otto to justice. Norman promises to make up for his wrongdoings to the world.

THOUGHTS: So Norman Osborn is batting for the other team now. This, in my opinion, would never, EVER happen with ANY version of Norman besides the one in this show. I’m no J.R. Fettinger, but to me Norman has always been bad to the bone. He is a crazy, evil person whether he’s the Goblin or just the business tycoon behind Oscorp. Norman is a jerk. But if you peel back some of his outer layers, looking deep inside, you may just find… A jerk. If you look as deep as you possibly can, you will only find an evil jackass and to be honest, that’s what I like about him. But the Norman in “Second Chance Hero”, he serves a character arc that the writer (or writers, the writing credit was mysteriously absent) wanted. One of the major problems with this is that the whole “villain looking for redemption” story is something that can easily feel forced, and seriously, this episode is only 22 freakin’ minutes. That’s not much time for Norman to go through this emotional arc that I don’t really buy in the first place. It doesn’t help that Norman’s voice actor Steven Weber (known for starring in the 90’s sitcom Wings, or Desperate Housewives if you’re into that) delivers each and every line like he’s staring off into the sunset contemplating life in the most soap opera-ish way possible. I just don’t buy any of it. It’s all so forced, and the moment where Osborn announces himself as a “super hero” is just as cheesy as you would expect it to be. The scenes between Norman and Harry that are supposed to have a father-son healing vibe come off as cheap and empty. There’s not much more to say about Osborn’s transformation, it was just forced and uncomfortable.

Something that I can’t decide whether to be a pro or a con is that the Spider-Friends were all completely omitted in the episode. Normally, this sounds pretty great. But I don’t understand why Spider-Man is sent by Nick Fury to arrest Norman, the man who brought down the Helicarrier last season, all by himself. Really, so Spider-Man needs White Tiger’s help to chase down Batroc the Leaper, but he’s expected to apprehend the former Green Goblin in a homemade Iron Man suit alone? Yeah, okay. But I guess I didn’t have to listen to Nova, so the universe balances out. I literally laughed out loud during the scene when Otto Octavius’ hologram is giving a speech and Harry walks in. Harry completely disregards the supervillain and the scary Spider-Soldiers to walk up to Spider-Man and describe in detail how much he hates the Web-Head’s guts. Even funnier is that Otto’s hologram just floats there drooling on himself while watching all of the drama. I was expecting a “Silence! Activate Spider-Soldier Protocol!”  or something, but it didn’t come. To be honest though, Otto was the only one interested, because I am very sick of Harry’s drama.

This episode probably used the little baby/chibi Spidey cutscenes more than any previous episode. It almost felt like a studio mandate. “This scene is getting boring! Cut to a tiny Spider-Man with a huge head!” Although one of the best parts of the episode to me was the ranting chibi Jameson, please check out the image to the left. That is both adorable and funny. The fight scenes, as always, were smoothly and masterfully animated. It all looked great. I liked the battle with the Frightful Four quite a bit, and the scenes of Iron Patriot flying and Spidey giving chase actually looked pretty incredible. I just have to address one more con. And it’s a big one.

I am so sick and tired of the ridiculous symbiote pseudo-science in this show. Please, if you want to fundamentally change everything that makes the symbiotes in Spider-Man what they are, please just don’t use them. The Spider-Soldiers were the most ridiculous thing I have seen in this show yet (although I haven’t seen the Carnage episode yet, so we’ll see). This is Doc Ock and Norman Osborn’s original endgame. They wanted Peter’s DNA, they wanted to create a spider-army. This plan finally comes to fruition, and not only is it absolutely bonkers, but they all get taken out in a matter of a few minutes. Seriously. If you read my review of the “Venom” episode, you know that Otto’s creation of the Venom suit literally makes NO sense whatsoever, and the Spider-Soldiers are nothing less. Doc Ock says some throwaway line about mixing the Venom DNA with the Goblin armor, and just… I’m hurting myself trying to think of any reason that could possibly make any amount of sense. That reason doesn’t exist.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “You think my armor is… sweet! Not exactly the adjective I’d use but… Thank you!”

PROS: Great animation, smooth fights, chibi Jonah.

CONS: Too deep of a character arc for one twenty-minute episode, don’t buy Norman’s change of heart, corny dialogue, RIDONKULOUS Spider-Soldiers.

GRADE: 2.5 Fin Fang Fooms out of 5. I totally get what this episode was trying to do, but that was some seriously poor execution. We got a break from Nova, but the story is bad enough that you can’t even tell. Spider-Soldiers are stupid. Please LEAVE A COMMENT! Let me know what you thought of this one! Thanks Crawlspacers!