“We don’t need your Civil War…”
A month ago Hollywood Spidey was pulling bus heists. But is the law catching up with him? In a stunning development this week Hollywood denizens saw Hollywood Spidey battle not one but two Hollywood Captain Americas.
Witnesses said two Captain Americas and a Spider-Man threw punches at each other in front of the Madame T
ussauds kiosk, feet away from the Dolby Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard.
“All of a sudden, two Captain Americas and Spider-Man started circling around me. Captain America just hit one of them and Spider-Man started bleeding,” said Vernardo Stroud.
More below the break…
As if it wasn’t bad enough for Spidey the last five years, what with One More Day and now the whole ‘Spock’ thing. But now he’s getting his ass handed to him by Cap wannabes. What provoked the attack? Larceny and a healthy dose of something Hollywood likes to call ‘the Truth,’ claimed one of the Captains.
“I tell them the truth. I tell them, ‘You’re a thief!’” said the Captain America impersonator. “That is not good for the image, the perception, the spirit of Hollywood. We are all ambassadors.”
Not to be left out, fellow ‘ambassador’ Hollywood Batman made the following comments to the press:
“There are a group of characters who are actually strong-arming tourists and actually asking for $20 tips, which is ridiculous. And they force them to pay,” he said.
In others news, here’s a picture of costumed kids fighting. We can assume it is due to the rise of costumed shenanigans in Hollywood but really
it’s probably just boredom.
Regarding this shocking photo George Berryman was quoted as saying:
“The kids man, they get all hopped up on the juice boxes and then BAM, it’s like a trip to the zoo. One minute they’re watching Disney XD, the next minute it’s ‘Go Time’ super-style. In come the costumes, out goes the humanity.
The question all Crawl Spacers are asking now is – as the summer heats up, will the Super-Hollywood violence increase?!
–George “Truth Ambassador” Berryman!
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@#6
Get real. See that rug over there in the corner? That prime real estate underneath it is where ALL OF THIS will be residing once someone else takes over.
When Peter is finally liberated from Hell by a new administration at Marvel he’s going to lay out some harsh justice for all this stuff.
@3 The juice boxes are just a symptom. It would have the same effect as the no smoking edict. They can fight each other playground style in the living room; but thank GOD no one is drinking juice boxes.
@#2
Look at the friggin’ article!!! He did!!! ^_^
Time to ban Juice Boxes.
OHHH! WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!
PREACH IT BROTHER