Morbius: The Living Vampire #3 review

After issue 2 greatly improved on the lackluster debut, can the third issue keep it up? Spoiler: No. A world of no.

Writer: Joe Keatinge

Artist: Richard Elson

Color Artist: Antonio Fabela

Letterer: VC’s Clayton Cowles

Cover Artist: David Lopez

Variant Cover Artist: Tomm Coker

Editor: Sana Amanat

Senior Editor: Stephen Wacker

THE STORY: After ripping Noah St. Germain’s throat out, Morbius quickly repents of being a badass and goes back to whining, fighting Noah’s gang while yelling that if they’ll just let him get to the man he’s killed, he can help him. Noah’s girlfriend shoots Morbius through the throat and he wakes up hanging upside down in chains. Morbius continues to protest that he’s a doctor and he can help Noah. The girlfriend finally acquiesces, and Morbius does manage to patch him up slightly, but his bloodlust is getting bad, and when Noah prematurely pops up from the table, Morbius slams him back down, killing him…again.

MY THOUGHTS: And we’re back. Literally, we’re back to right where we were at the end of last issue. “Morbius just killed the local crime boss and now his gang’s pissed – what’s he gonna do!” Which ending am I talking about? Issue 2 or 3? When a comic ends on exactly the same beat that the previous issue ended on with no progression at all, one really has to wonder why they paid $2.99 for this.

We’re treated to many, many reminders this issue that Michael Morbius makes bad decisions. It’s the proverbial Parker Luck of Morbius now, apparently. But what we see isn’t a portrayal of a brilliant scientist making poor choices. That might be interesting. What we see is someone who did something bad when taken over by instinct (which makes it not a decision or choice), and then someone who’s really rather dim. “Why are you trying to keep me away from your leader just because I ripped his throat out 2 seconds ago? Clearly I want to help him!” Was he expecting anyone to go along with that? Really?

Then we have more inexplicability. A new character is introduced in Noah’s girlfriend (because the gang needs a leader now so we needed to quickly invent a new character to represent them). It turns out this low level gangbanger with the distinction of “girlfriend” is a crack shot the likes of which the US Army would LOVE to get hold of. Lamenting the poor aim of her compatriots, she grabs a handgun and in one shot nails a moving vampire through the center of the throat. You go, girlfriend!

And hey, just so we can REALLY mimic the beats of last issue, we’d better get some more bloodlust in there. Evidently healing from the gunshot wound to the throat made ol’ Morb very thirsty, and he just can’t help but lose it in the presence of Noah St. Germain.

I could continue to pick apart the failings of this issue, but by now I think you get the point. Morbius is acting really stupid and this issue hits all the same beats as last issue. I went into this issue wanting to like it. After the improvement issue 2 showed, I really was hoping for a possibility of a quality Morbius series. I could not have been more let down by Morbius #3. Usually when people say something is a waste of money they’re hyperbolically saying it’s bad. I would have to say this issue is indeed a waste of money, but that’s because you get nothing for your money that you didn’t already get in issue 2. And that’s the worst kind of waste. At least when something is out-and-out BAD you have something to talk about. But when it offers nothing new, just seems like new words written over the same template…well how many more ways can I say this? What was the point?

GRADE: 0 reprints out of 5. How can I award points for no new material?