Being a dissertation [or poor attempt at humor] in multiple parts by one semi-crazed Spider-Man fan.
About the author: Lee Swain, or “Parabolee” as he goes by on the internets, is the newest addition to the Crawlspace blogging crew. A life long Spider-Man fan that has wasted a good part of his life creating webcomics and blogging about really nerdy trivia. His turn-ons include: Spandex, continuity and red heads. Turn-offs include: Rubber, retcons and Carlie Cooper.
The new Spider-Man movie is creeping closer to release. And while still a year away from hitting our screens, we have now seen the first trailer and gotten a good look at the new costume. Unfortunately the more I see, the more convinced I am that this movie is going to be bad. So I have taken it upon myself to write a lengthy analysis and explanation as to why this will be.
First of all, allow me to clarify that I am well aware that there are people that are not that invested in the comic book Spider-Man, and that I know those people are not going to care if the movie makers take a crap on who he’s supposed to be in the new movie.
And so from where they stand the new movie might be all sorts of awesome. Allow me also to further clarify my opinion, and say this: I don’t care how they feel about MY movie.
Yes that’s right I said MY movie, because you see I’m a life long Spider-Man fan, a hardcore have-read-every-issue-of-Amazing-Spider-Man fan (not a boast, just a fact) and I feel I to some extent, I own him (and other Spidey fans too I guess).
EDIT – That is to say that I feel I own Spidey, not other Spidey fans. That would be weird.
Let us begin…
Part 1: Reboot? AKA: Didn’t they already make this movie?
Probably the main area where a large portion of the old school, newer school and people whose opinion of this movie is irrelevant casual Spider-Man fans are going to be in agreement about this movie is the subject of it being a reboot.
There was no reason to reboot this franchise.
From my experience, nobody feels the need to or even wants to see how Peter got his powers again!
Sure it’s an easy way to get an audience to connect to the characters, it’s an easy way to film the first hour without spending much on effects and an easy way create drama. And I’m sure they could do it in a way that is faithful to the comics and really entertaining…
Oh wait! SAM RAIMI ALREADY DID THAT! AND IT WAS AWESOME!
Remember us?
So why are they are they making this movie again? Oh yeah, money. Lots and lots of money. However Spider-Man 4 would have made lot’s of money too.
Rebooting Batman was a no brainer, the series under Joel Schumacher had degraded into campy insanity beyond the point of no return. But while Spidey 3 failed to reach the soaring heights of 2, nothing about it corrupted the foundations of the series like Batman & Robin did.
Everyone was on board the Spider-Man bandwagon already, everyone would have gone to see Spider-Man 4 even with a new cast if that’s what it took.
When they announced Batman was being rebooted everyone said “oh thank sweet baby jesus” (in unison I think). Literally everyone I have talked to (and since most people know what I fan I am, they all ask me about this movie) has responded in the same way; a confused grimace and the word “WHY?”.
But worst of all, it appears they are not only retelling the origins, but they are pretty much making up the whole thing from scratch (more on this in the trailer section). Whereas the Raimi movie was mostly faithful to the origin in the comic book, with only a few pretty minor adjustments.
Holy rubber nipples and codpieces Batman, I think we’re going to need a reboot!
Part 2: No respect for the source material. AKA: The soul of Peter Parker. AKA: I hate Marc Webb
As previously established (you were paying attention right?) I have been reading stories about Peter Parker/Spider-Man my whole life. So I feel I have a pretty solid grasp on who he is, and that is important to me.
The Sam Raimi movies were more faithful than I dared imagine. Were they perfect? No. But damn me if the first two were not really close.
I’m really trying not to be a nit picky jerk about this new movie, but I am one so that’s how it comes off.
And I am honestly fine with some things being off, I can live with them changing a few things for the sake of an original vision. I could even live with that awful new costume if that was the movies biggest issue (more on that later).
However I’m afraid to say that “The Amazing Spider-Man” is not going to just have a few things that are off, but that it is being approached with the kind of respect for the source material that I would expect from an holocaust denier retelling the Anne Frank story!
Let’s have her living underground and befriending some singing elves?
I would imagine that for most long time Spidey fans (for me anyway), the core of who Peter is, is sacred. You don’t mess with it! In fact, correction; not just the core, THE DETAILS. As they say “Peter Parker is in the details”, or was it some other guy they say that about? I forget.
For me there is not much room for interpretation because it was all right there on the pages of the comic. Stan Lee’s original 100 issue run should be set in stone and never screwed with (and Gerry Conway’s run is pretty sacred to me too).
I think the core of what makes Spider-Man so great is in those comics, you work outwards from there. You don’t mess with the “core” (or soul if you will), or you severely damage what was so great to start with.
So alarm bells go off when I read the director saying things like this –
I feel we have certain obligations to the iconography of Spider-Man, which is based mostly in the comics. The other thing is Spider-Man has a lot of different incarnations in the comics. While there are certain mainstays — a kid who gets bitten by a spider, he’s an outsider, the death of his Uncle Ben helps endow [him] with the mentality of a hero — those things remain the same but there’s also room for interpretation. He’s been around since the 1960s. The wealth of material here — whether it’s story or character — is really profound but I also feel it’s my responsibility to reinvent it in some ways.
Now as I said there is some “room for interpretation”, the kind of room Sam Raimi took advantage of. But from the quote above, it sounds to me that this guy is essentially saying he can make whatever the hell he wants up, between the bullet points he listed.
Also, this part here really annoys me, and displays his ignorance –
Spider-Man has a lot of different incarnations in the comics
Oh really?! He does, does he? Let’s examine them to see if this statement is true. And maybe gleam where he is getting the justification to just rewrite Peter Parker as whoever the hell he feels like:-
- Ultimate Spider-Man: The comic in which they recently KILLED Peter Parker!
- Chapter One Spider-Man: A very controversial and almost universally loathed attempt to retell Spidey’s beginnings with pretensions to making it more hip and modern. Sound familiar?
- Manga Spider-Man: The story of Spider-Man in a Japanese setting, ran 31 issue’s, was left incomplete and canceled!
- Marvel Adventures Spider-Man: Virtually indistinguishable from normal Spider-Man but aimed at a younger audience.
- Peter Parker: Daddy – from Spider-Girl: An alternative universe where Peter and MJ (unchanged from the Amazing universe up until this point) have a daughter who grows up to become Spider-Girl, while Peter has retired.
- Spider-Ham: A cartoon pig.
Other than these “incarnations” we have a bunch of silly limited-series Spidey’s (like Marvel zombies, Noir Spider-Man and Indian Spider-Man) and “What if” Spidey’s that are intended as silly alt universe tales. So what the man really means is this: he read some “Ultimate Spider-Man” and thought that because that comic did it, then it was OK for him to revise who these characters are, even down to Spidey’s costume (which even Ultimate did not touch).
You think these are the kind of “incarnations” he was inspired by?
Now I know the director is not the only one to blame for what this movie is going to be. After all it was not him but Alvin Sargent and Steve Kloves that wrote the screenplay. But for now I am going to concentrate on Marc Webb as the central driving force, and his quotes in the above sourced interview.
Allow me to translate some of these quotes for you, cut through the BS.
I feel we have certain obligations to the iconography of Spider-Man, which is based mostly in the comics.
My translation: “The only obligation I have, is to make some things look like they did in the comics. Other than that, who gives a crap about details?”
While there are certain mainstays [Lists bullet points…] He’s been around since the 1960s. The wealth of material here — whether it’s story or character — is really profound but I also feel it’s my responsibility to reinvent it in some ways.
My translation: “Those comics were decades ago, most of the paying public don’t give a rat’s ass about them. Sure while some of the stories were really profound, I don’t care about being faithful to them and besides I’m arrogant enough to think I can reinvent them completely for the modern age and be much more profound.”
OK let’s dissect a few more quotes from Marc Webb and see what else he’s screwing up with this character.
Peter Parker is a science whiz. If you look back to the early Stan Lee and Steve Ditko comics, he’s a nerd with big glasses.
Wait, YES! That’s right! He said something I agree with! YAY! Maybe he’s going to get something right…
The idea of what a nerd is has changed in 40 or 50 years. Nerds are running the world. Andrew Garfield made a movie [called “The Social Network”] about it. Nerds are no longer pariahs and knowing how to write computer code is longer a [mocked] quality. What was important in those early comics was this notion that Peter Parker is an outsider and how we define that in a contemporary context. That, I think, was one of the challenges for us — getting Peter Parker’s outsider status to be current.
Oh goodness NO! If Sam Raimi and Stan Lee were dead, they would have turned in their graves.
“What the hell did that guy just say?”
Actually Stan would probably just smile and give him some profound while amusing advice. This was literally the angriest picture of Stan Lee I could find.
“Excelsior!”
I could not believe it when I read that quote, I was so mad I think I simply yelled a string of incoherent curse words at my iPad screen for a few minutes until I calmed down. Probably the last time I read a Marc Webb interview on the rush hour path train.
Let me make this clear Marc Webb! Just because some nerds are very successful, does NOT change the fact that in high school being a socially awkward science nerd STILL makes you an outsider!
This guy is completely divorced from reality! Does he think a popular high school girl like say a 2011 Liz Allan (he’s probably never heard of her) would swoon when the computer nerd comes over and says “hey baby, you got to hear about this HTML 5 I coded last night”?
“What do you mean you girls don’t want a menage-a-toi?
Didn’t you see “The Social Network”? Us nerds run the world now!”
Back to the incredible insights of Marc Webb –
Peter Parker is a real kid. He’s not a billionaire. He’s not an alien. He’s a kid who gets picked on and gets shoved to the outside. The 90-pound weakling, that’s who Spider-Man is when he gets bit. So much of the DNA of the character is the fact that he was a kid when he got bit. He is imperfect, he is immature and has a bit of a punk rock instinct. In his soul he’s still a 90-pound weakling even after [the transformative bite].
WHAT!?! Read that again “a bit of a punk rock instinct.”! Where the hell is he getting this from? Now don’t get me wrong, I have a bit (actually a LOT) of punk rock instinct, I instinctively want to rebel against “the man”. Unfortunately right now “the man” to me is Marc Webb.
Adolescent Peter Parker is the LEAST punk rock kid in the world! He’s the ultimate SQUARE! A “wallflower”, a “bookworm”. I can’t imagine the Stan Lee Peter Parker rebelling against anything other than maybe the teacher not giving him enough homework!
And he dares to talk about Peter Parker’s soul, all while explaining how he is destroying it in his version!
I don’t care how you feel about the almost perfect Raimi movies (is my opinion showing?), but can you honestly tell me that you thought Peter Parker’s character felt out of time?
Raimi’s Peter was a nerdy outcast that felt both natural for 2002 and faithful to the comic character.
He was this kid, too, and we want to keep that consistent even to some extent when the costume is on. I love a lot of the “Ultimate Spider-Man” artwork and story lines…
Some acknowledgment to his “Ultimate Spider-Man” leanings. Let me say this, if it was so good then why did Marvel just kill Peter Parker in it!?
…there’s a lot more of an adolescent, playful quality. And I think that’s a big part of Spider-Man universe and hasn’t really been explored cinematically before.
He could not be more wrong, Peter as an “adolescent” is not a “big part” of the Spider-Man universe. Peter was out of high school and in college by issue #31 (1965), which is also Gwen Stacy’s first appearance. And by that point he really was a young adult by any readers standards. That means since Spidey’s first issue was in 1963, we had less than 3 years in Spidey’s 50 years history of Peter as an adolescent.
Peter as seen in Amazing Spider-Man Issue #33
So we have almost 47 years of him NOT as an adolescent. That’s 630+ issue’s of “Amazing”, plus another 400+ “Spectacular” and “Peter Parker” Spider-Man comics and almost countless one shots and limited series comics. So even if we say he was an adolescent up to his first day of college, we have only 33 (30 Amazing, 2 annuals and Amazing Fantasy #15) issues of that era and thousands after.
I think it’s safe to say, Peter as an adolescent is NOT a “big part of Spider-Man’s universe”. It is in fact a VERY small part of the Spider-Man universe.
“Could I BE more wrong?” (or more smug)
So as my final piece of evidence to my fellow Spider-Man fans that they don’t care about “your” Spider-Man, allow me to use these words from Marc Webb, I think they are the final nail in the coffin for hope…
For me, it’s enough of a reinvention that it is a different Peter Parker.
There you have it folks, from the horse’s mouth. “IT IS A DIFFERENT PETER PARKER”! A “reinvention”!
They are reinventing Spider-Man!
Part 2 can now be read here
Coming next –
Part 3: The costume SUCKS! AKA: Basketball head strikes back.
Part 4: The awful news from Comicon. AKA: Emo Peter Parker
Part 5: Dissecting the trailer. AKA: My god is that web coming out of his neck!
Coming soon thereafter (subject to change)…
Part 6: The actors secretly tell us the movie will suck. AKA: I love Emma Stone!
Part 7: The name is insulting. AKA: I REALLY hate you Marc Webb!
Part 8: So who’s to blame for this mess? AKA: Don’t worry your lives are not in danger.
Part 9: The lasting damage to the franchise. AKA: The toys are really going to suck!
Part 10: Why the new Spider-Man movie is going to be awesome! AKA: Have I gone insane?
Stay tuned!
I don’t think this really comes across as joking or satire, it just comes across as the stereotype of a nitpicking nerd who’s afraid of change.
Peter’s distant nature made him come across as a snobbish nerd to Flash, Harry and Gwen at first. His loner attitude is an extension of this, it also was somewhat present in Ultimate. Peter’s been through some hard times, he’s focused on school and introverted. The loner angle isn’t too much of stretch, bringing new ideas like that into a new incarnation isn’t it a bad thing. You didn’t mention the different cartoons and films Spider-man’s been in.
As for Webb’s quotes? They’re both taken out of context, and portrayed in a negative light.
We’ve seen barely anything of the film, and reports of comic con footage have been positive. The film is different, this shouldn’t be surprising, ever adaption is different. Hopefully the differences add to the film and to the character. I understand some commentary on any new info, but this is just ridiculous, and the intentions are vague.
Sorry, I don’t buy a word of this. Why? Because you haven’t seen the film yet. No one knows how good or bad it is until then. They showed two full scenes of the film this past weekend in San Diego and they were met with very high approval. Hold your disdain until after you’ve seen it and then I will listen to your points.
@ #47 Steve – why thank you Steve, i’m glad I was able to entertain some, that was after all my main intention.
As I said elswhere, while I do mean what I say about being disappointed with how the characters are being handled and that it will spoil the movie for me; the venomous tone is meant to be for effect of humour more than anything.
Even though I disagree with your overall attitude and believe you’re being pessimistic to an extreme, this article was a treat to read. Your writing style has a voice to it, and the humor is welcomed. I look forward to reading the future installments.
This has to be the longest comments thread without a member of the Brain Trust contributing to it!!!
@Jason
Agreed, and from what I’ve read from various accounts on the recent interviews in San Diego, there is more wise-cracking from a 5 minute sizzle real, then we certainly got from Raimi. And it’s not just the wisecracks, but the attitude behind them that makes them work. People seemed to love it there, again from what I’ve read.:)
@WebHead you make me laugh with your clueless, imbicilic rants. “Marc Webb is a goon….The only decent thing he directed was 500 Days of Summer and lets be honest….no one is buying that on DVD to watch again.” It’s the only film he directed and it was extremely well recieved and it’s indie. Those type of films don’t usually fly off the shelves. Although I didn’t love that film, you can see the talent that Marc Webb is if you watch it. And you can see why Sony hired him. Especially for the characterization and visuals. But why am I defending his credentials to a sulking twit like you. I guess if Transformers 3 explodes on DVD, then it makes Michael Bay a god in your eyes. Have at it booyah.
Hey, your name is Jason, too! I mean, I’m not spamming, I’m adding to the conversation…by saying…yes. Raimi…something…something cheesy, OH I KNOW: It seemed to me like he wasn’t taking Spider-Man seriously at times in Spider-Man 3. Also, he forgot to make Spider-Man funny. That’s kind of his thing. Though there was something about his costume being itchy in the second movie that made me giggle.
Lets be honest, we like Sam, a great guy and a great fan of Spidey.But his B-movie styling applications to Spidey had worn very very thin. Wow ,he refrenced the fifties Sci-fi films in the middle of an action scene, isn’t he so cool, a fan like us!. Please no more. Bring on Marc Webb and his more realistic approach.
I didn’t realize this was possibly not serious until the “Why the new Spider-Man movie is going to be awesome!” part at the end. But instead of realizing it was satire, it just really confused me. Then I read some of the comments here and it became a little more clear. I’m getting flashbacks to editing creative writing papers in college. I’m not trying to be a jerk, but, wow, this was sort of brutally overbearing. It’s too negative and mean to be funny. I feel like I’m being yelled at. Like someone said, there are too many assumptions. It casts us Spidey fans in a bad light and supports a really negative stereotype about us comic book fans 🙁
Actually, the funniest thing in the end (after the movie is out) is that there are people who are excited for the movie and who may not end up liking it. And there will be people who are writing it off now, who will end up liking it. Thus, the pieces in the puzzle will be have to be re-arranged all over again. Those that criticised it but end up liking it, will have to back track, or change their screen names to save face. There will be those that awaited it eagerly, but end up not liking it and will go find another battle, or become the scorned fans who feel betrayed. Most people engaging in this topic, vigorously/passionately, will probably walk away from whatever conclusion they come to and wish they had just waited until the film came out before they had invested that much time and energy into this process.
So can we all just go and create a giant flash mob somewhere so we can let out a big collective LOL!!!!
This is the most alarmist peice of crap writing I’ve ever read. Thy aren’t going to make a Spider-man 4. Get over it. One seems to forget that all the Spider-man films were profit motivated. This one is no more so than they are.
The movie is a year away. I think it would probably be best to save articles such as this for the weekend after the movie opens. I don’t see how anything can be jugded a year before it is released, after only two minutes of footage has been shown.
Spider-man 3’s trailer certainly gave no indication of how bad that was going to be, with trailers, especailly teaser trailers, you can never tell. Would I have gone to see Raimi and co’s Spidey 4, yes, would my friends, no. The bad taste from that film is still frequent joke amongst my friends. They mock me with the dance scene every chance they get.
As you point out, we have our spider-man, and I’m sorry but this movie isn’t being made for us alone. How much money has Thor and Captain America made for Marvel this year through the box office, and how much have they made through the comic retailer? If Marvel, or Sony, in this case released a film only to appeal to fans it would make nothing at the box office. If you want to watch the movie and enjoy it, you have to live with some of the changes to make the veiwing experience pleasureable for all members of the audience. People seem to be looking at the first trilogy with rose tinted glasses, I remember a real out cry over organic web shooters. Is that all behind us now that the custome is slightly different.
I am looking at this movie as the ultimate version. I have 616 and Raimi’s series, but new fans don’t want to watch a ten year old film, (I’m a film historian so don’t understand that feeling myself). Modern audience want something they can relate to. So if Brian Bendis…sorry Marc Webb has ultimatised…sorry adapted some ideas to help my hero appeal to more people, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt. This is just a creative team change like we get in the comics all the time. I like Lee’s Spider-man and JMS Spider-man, even though they are different in tone. Any time a new creator gets on the book they like to put their own spin on the origin, and that’s what Marc Webb and his team are doing. Good look to them.
My last word is really, wait and see. The trailer hardly any line deliver from Andrew Garfield, and as long as that’s in the air we don’t even know how he’s going to play Peter, I’ve heard rumours we may even get a funny Spider-man….lets just wait and see.
it’s times like this that I wish Steven Wacker wasn’t banned.
I almost lapsed into a coma reading this. I miraculosuly got the tongue in cheek, apreciate the attempt, it just fell flat for me. And I do disagree with much that was written. To each his own to battle alone.
the funniest thing about this, is how Webb’s quotes are being taken beyond their context. Do some people think that Webb is actually going to turn Peter into Mark Zuckerberg or something? This whole feeble attempt at humour seems like it took it’s que from a Cinemablend column a week ago. The writer too, took the quotes out of context. But at least he knew better then to try for lame humor. Although I do like the broken english heading that was funny.
I can’t wait for this thing too open. You know lines will be drawn. I want the blood on the swords already!!! 🙂 Team Raimi vs. team Webb, or whatever people will come up with. I believe these new movies will be succesful in their own right and people who are against them better get used to it, or enjoy banging your heads againt the wall, cause the back and forth will never end. Well, thats not true, it will slowly die if the movie is good – except for here probably. And the Raimi lovers will always have Paris.
uh……what?
@#30 Brain Bradley – Thanks man. I’ll have to admit, my title graphic was intentionally controversial. Notice the actual title is “probably” going to suck.
@#31 Pete – LOL, yeah I was being a bit brutal. My version of his words were part of my (possibly bad) humour and partially faux anger. I certainly don’t blame Webb or think he want’s to destroy Spidey (and I’m a fan of his work). I do however think he is way of base of who Peter Parker is and should be. I’m surprised that you found confidence in his vison of a non-nerd punk ethic Peter parker. Maybe I can persuade you this movie is in the wrong hands (not just Webb’s) in the follow up article. I have more info you may not have read yet that further exposes our new “reinvented” Peter Parker.
Oh and I love the choice of Andrew Garfield for the role. I just don’t think he will be playing the Peter Parker I know and love.
I never liked the Raimi movies…they were far too cartoony and got Peter and MJ completly wrong
that’s fair, parabolee, but it just seems like you took some of Webb’s quotes WAY out of context. going into the quotes section, we already knew that you were staunchly against the reboot, so despite the incredibly tame and, honestly, confidence-inspiring words that Webb used, your interpretation of his quotes only pointed towards the conclusion that you wanted to reach which, if i understood the article correctly, was that “MARC WEBB WANTS TO DESTROY SPIDER-MAN BY REBOOTING THE FRANCHISE”
Ah, and since it’s gotten lost admist the editorial… welcome to the world of contributing to the crawlspace site. In my brief 6.5 months of writing reviews and such it’s been a great outlet for my little writing hobby. You apparently already have a hang of the “controversy = comments” strategy 😉
i’m not going to lie, i was super-excited when i heard marc webb was attached to direct. i’ve always wanted to see an “indie” Spider-Man movie, in a similar vein as that Wes Anderson Spider-Man parody. but these are just my comic book movie-making dreams. sigh.
also, @26, i totally agree with you. i think that andrew garfield is a talented enough actor to pull off the duality of Spider-Man… a shitty regular life, and an “amazing” super-hero life. i knew he would make an awesome Peter Parker when i saw him in The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
@ Two-Bit Specialist – I do plan 2 more articles, which will be in multiple parts (like this one was 2 parts). I’ll try and be more on-the-nose about it’s intent at being as much humour as opinion. I am serious about my critiques, but the manner in which I express them is supposed to be funny.
To those that are saying I am talking about things we don’t know about. Well I tried hard to keep to things we do know. We know it’s a reboot, and most of my comments are based directly on the things Marc Webb has said (and are quoted).
And also please note, that the last part is called “Why the new Spider-Man movie is going to be awesome”.
@23 Webhead – Like Two-Bit said, the trailer is mainly the only bit of information we have to go off of right now, but I agree that this editorial does mainly deal with interviews with Webb…. Why is Webb a goon though? And I actually do own 500 Days of Summer and have seen it several times I like it that much. I thought that movie had several great scenes, especially when he saw himself as Han Solo in the reflection.
I dont think is should be compared to Twilight simply on visual comparison. There is a reason why peter is evoking the emo attitude and outfit: his parents LEFT HIM in front of his eyes. He does not understand why and has become reserved of his emotions. He has the RIGHT TO BE RESERVED and this is an opportunity to see a different take of peter grow as a person (regardless of whether people think peter would be all smiles all the time anyway). Also uncle ben dies and the lizard is the villain. There are clearly dark overtones in this movie; it is not going to be a movie full of sunshine and lollipops.
@Webhead – When the ONLY piece of information about the upcoming movie is the trailer itself, then it’s the only thing you can really draw inferences from.
@22
I see most of the Twilight references over on Topless Robot, or on IGN. It’s really lousy that somebody decided to draw that connection, and now nobody can seem to get over it. It was like the kiss of death. I’m sure a lot of folks could’ve been more receptive to the new movie if it weren’t associated with that tripe.
The accusations of this film being made “to appeal to the Twilight crowd” have no foundation. Just because they might be making Amazing Spider-Man a bit “darker” (which I still am not totally sure will end up happening… I am really optimistic about a funny, silly Spider-Man, for some reason, despite the trailer…) doesn’t mean there’s going to be anything vampiric or gothic about it.
I don’t know why we didn’t hear the same comparisons when we saw the first few shots of Symbiote Spidey from Spider-Man 3… hmm… sitting on a gargoyle, in the rain, similar color palettes… And this is coming from someone who actually sort of liked Spider-Man 3 (I thought the dancing bits were the best representations of Parker’s personality that Maguire had done, up to that point).
I just got done with this and had to ask one question to everyone posting comments, “Where does the writer mention the trailer?” In part 5 of the upcoming bits, the writer is going to dissect the trailer. Nothing from the (horrible as it may be) trailer was mentioned in this. Try re-reading it. Also, Marc Webb is a goon. The only decent thing he directed was 500 Days of Summer and lets be honest….no one is buying that on DVD to watch again.
@19 Pete – I agree with you in that seeing a Spider-Man movie is better than having no Spider-Man movie. Hollywood has become one of the biggest exports of America now that they will make a movie about anything. I have no interest in most of the cliche Romantic Comedies, or typical Summer Shoot-Em Ups, so the more comic-type films out there the happier I am. Movies have also become so easy to produce now a days, relatively speaking, that they can pump out a movie in a year. It’s just the next greatest medium to tell a story. You’re comparision to different writers/artists taking over a comic is the same thing, this is just on a much grander scale. I think what Christopher Nolan did with Batman, and what happened with Raimi, is a great approach to this medium. Let a director and cast come in with a well crafted story and make their trilogy, then move on in several years (which I agree with this editorial in saying that they did not wait long enough for this one).
The Twilight references bug me too.. .the hair style does look pretty goofy, but I really haven’t seen anything else to make people think this looks Twilight-y (which I’ve only seen the first movie and refuse to see any else)
Guys, Parabolee said it was a satire. I really doubt we’ll see 8 more of these.
also, RE: #18 Brian Bradley.
Your last point is an incredibly good one to bring up. People making a huge fuss about this reboot introducing us to, or reverting us back to (see: Spider-Man 3), an “emo” Peter Parker, I would just like to refer you to THE ENTIRE SPIDER-MAN TRILOGY. Tobey cries… a lot. He’s always sad about something.
Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker actually SMILES in the trailer, and when he’s being “emo,” he’s doing it quietly, and in a reserved fashion. Not just SOBBING about everything.
As a fellow Spider-Man fan… shouldn’t you be glad that they’re even MAKING more Spider-Man movies, let alone a re-imagining/reboot? The complaints I constantly see are how it’s “too soon.” Why? What’s wrong with more of a good thing? Directors, writers, and actors should be able to produce as many of these comic book movies as possible, and we, as comic book fans, should be so lucky that they’re doing it for us. It’s a great time for comic book nerds, and shitting on people for releasing more comic book movies is just silly to me. No one’s going to destroy your character completely. The folks who produce these movies aren’t evil… they want just as accurate of a representation of the character as you do.
That being said, what is it about The Amazing Spider-Man, exactly, that makes you believe that it’s going to be so bad? This article is just a rambling, unfounded negative opinion. There is NO REASON why we, as Spider-Man fans, should be worried about this reboot, nor a reason to be criticizing it without any information to go on. I’ve seen people compare the movie to Twilight, to make statements about an “emo” Peter Parker, and other assorted opinions… none of this has any basis in facts. People are just regurgitating the Twilight concept from some unknown source, and somehow, it’s gotten out of control to the point where people actually believe it. Why? Andrew Garfield’s hair-cut. That’s it.
People are constantly looking for reasons to hate this movie, and best of luck to them. I’ll be the Spider-Man fan, sitting in the theater when this comes out, chowing on popcorn and thanking my lucky stars that someone has even THOUGHT to make another Spider-Man movie available to me so soon. Frankly, my biggest gripe is that I, as a film student, won’t get a chance to make a Spider-Man movie like this one because it’s already implementing some of my ideas (humor in the fight scenes, a more down-to-earth approach, “gritty” realism, a skinny Spidey, etc.). Again, this is just from what we ACTUALLY KNOW about the movie. It could end up being bad, but it could also end up being an even better interpretation of the source material. Don’t be so quick to criticize and denounce a movie that you know next-to-nothing about, just because it’s a reboot. That’s like getting pissed off when different writers/artists come in on your favorite comic. Just embrace the change, and embrace the progress.
Also, since you briefly mentioned it in your editorial and @16 Punisher brought it up again… this movie will not kill the Spider-Man franchise. Spider-Man is iconic and one of the greatest superheroes out there, a bad movie is not going to mess that up. It may take some shine off of his movie-star, but he’ll still be front and center in Marvel’s stable. If anything, we should hope that this movie does flop a little so Marvel can try to get the rights back to it and make the movie it has the potential to be. But it won’t. This movie will still make money because of the fact that Spider-Man is that popular, and there will be people that like it.
I enjoy Raimi’s movies, but I have to say it was time for Kirsten and Tobey to go. Kirsten especially was awful and I got way too tired of seeing Tobey’s close up, unmasked, smushed face when he was trying to exert strength like stopping the train in #2… or just crying.
I agree that the retelling of the origin seems pretty useless. Pretty much everybody knows the basics, but I do like the idea of fleshing out his relationship with his parents a little bit more. So in that regard I do agree with Marc Webb in saying that there is some more to the story that could be told. Why they had to set him back in high school, no clue, but that was the studios decision I’m sure and not Webb’s or Kloves.
The editorial does seem pretty harsh at times, especially when making assumptions on what you think Webb really means with his quotes, but those are just your opinions and what editorials are for. I didn’t see this as a tongue-in-cheek, humor column either, and thought it was more just an angry venting piece. It is nice to see some people break down their opinion of the trailer and hopefully we’ll get some more insight from other contributors as the movie draws closer and we get some more feedback. You have clearly thought out opinions though, especiallywith turning it into a 10 parter… but I still believe we need more evidence that this movie will suck beyond a mediocre trailer, and bad costume decision.
Amen brother! Sam Raimi & Tobey Maguire (and Bruce Campbell) made the Spiderman movie franchise. Sam’s approach was faithful, with just enough modernization to bring it into today. High School was covered in about 20 minutes of the 1st movie, as it should have been and Peter’s life went on from there. I will admit, Mary Jane coming too early into the movie was a bit annoying to me, as was Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane. Isla Fisher or Amy Adams would have been much better choices. Hell, you could dye anyones hair red and make a better Mary Jane.
Other than that, Raimi’s version kicked ass. Tobey was both a great Peter/Spiderman and almost all the cast was spot on. Could you pick a better JJJ anyone? Why the hell do we need to change it? Why the hell do we need a new sucky-ass costume? Now I have seen some crappy cartoon renditions of Spiderman, but they can be ignored. A crappy movie destroys the icon. Now keep in mind that I am not a huge Spiderman fan (The Punisher rules!), but some things are just sacred. Maybe Mr. Webb can retell the story of Jesus next where Jesus, the Romans and the Jews all settle their differences over tea instead of that messy crucifixion. While we’re at it, I wasn’t too pleased with what took place in Manhattan in September of ’01. Can we do something about that? Spiderman was one of the best creations from the amazing mind of Stan Lee and has become a symbol over the past 50 years. DON’T MESS WITH A SYMBOL YOU TOOL! Hey Marc, maybe you should call Joe Johnston and tell him to pull back Captain America and refilm as a reboot. No one will understand the whole WWII thing, right? You should have him be the guy that took out Osama. Audiences can relate to that. And one more thing… I was a nerd in high school and it sucked! It may have been 15 years since I graduated, but that isn’t too long ago. No one cared that I was good with computers or could draw well. Mostly I just ate a bunch of crap since I didn’t like Football. So take your punk rock, dark, brooding, could have been covered in 20 minutes script and go wipe your ass with it.
Oh, and for butters911 – if any of us had lives, we wouldn’t be posting comments on Spidey Forums. Let’s face it, you’re a nerd and so am I:-) Now that that’s settled, taking in that the franchise already had a great start, rebooting with a low budget, poorly written, reimagined piece of crap was simply not necessary. The first 2 movies rocked and Raimi got screwed on the 3rd. If they had taken more time to give a great story, we’d be on Spidey 4 with our beloved Raimi and none of us would have anything to talk about today.
I think your major problem with what we’ve seen of the movie so far is that it’s going as far as calling itself “The Amazing Spider-Man” when it’s clearly showing more qualities of the “Ultimate” universe with all its attempts at modernizing the franchise and in particular its main character. Sure, there are some aspects that echo back to the original comics (Gwen Stacey, smaller eye lenses on the costume, mechanical shooters…) but there exists a lot more modern references since well… Spider-Man isn’t exactly a time-specific type of character. He isn’t like someone like, say, Captain America or Magneto who have very time-specific origins. To the general public, Spider-Man simply has to be a nerd that suddenly got gifted with these spectacular powers.
The problem with that, though, is how the definition of “nerd” has evolved (or devolved) throughout time. Classic descriptions of one would include things like argyle sweaters and thick glasses. However, you could say that that exact description could work for what we would refer to in today’s society as “hipsters.” Various aspects of “nerd culture” have been appropriated, squished, deformed and the like by “outsiders” to the nerd culture, resulting in so many subcultures that to simply call something “nerdy” just doesn’t provide as much weight as it used to. This current generation has been defined with having such a myriad of options at their disposal that I dare say that they’ve grown drunk on it. And while the idea of “I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want” gives a glimmer of hope to older audiences out there, the sad truth is that it means younger audiences have more opportunities to screw up and make themselves come off as more obnoxious than deemed acceptable.
Long story short: While I do remain more hopeful than you about this new movie, what we’ve seen of it and talk of modernization when the Raimi movies were able to already do such a good job of things makes me fear the direction chosen for Pete’s character. I don’t want the movie trying to make me sympathize for a teenage douchebag.
I also thought this was a straight up editorial until i read your comments that were apparently added while I was typing mine.
@Parabolee – I didn’t pick up on that. I really thought this was a straight-up editorial.
No offense but this was a really poorly done review and I don’t feel I got anything out of it. Well ok to be fair there was that one part about Marc Webb thinking nerds in this day and age are some sort of punk rockers and wanting Pete to be like that. If thats accurate then im even more worried about this movie than before.
@Two-Bit Specialist – It’s a joke. These are jokes. I’m sure he’s a really great guy and is a very talented director; I loved 500 days of summer. I don’t like his interpretation of Peter Parker, and am humorously mocking him while explaining that.
@Gerard Delatour II – Yes, the article is supposed to be humour as much as opinion. While I won’t apologies for my opinions (especially when they are as tongue in cheek as this), I will say that I am sorry if it’s not funny 🙂
@Elle.joon – I tried not to make presumptions beyond what information I have, that is why I am going off what the director said in most of this. Later parts will address other information too, but everything will be based on information known rather than outright presumptions.
@butters911 – You should give it a shot. It’s supposed to be a fun light-hearted critique of direction of the movie, and only one of the editorials is from the teaser. For the record I love the cast of TDK, and I love the cast of “The Amazing Spider-Man” too for that matter.
@joseph – Trust me, I will get to all those things you mentioned in the later parts listed.
Thanks for the comments guys
Also, you might want to cool it with the “I hate Marc Webb” thing. You’re entitled to your own opinion as long as it’s respectful to the creators and stuff.
I myself have low expectations, but WOW…
i didnt even bother reading it. we are all huge spidey fans here. i love the comics and i am excited for this movie. you want to write ten editorials off a teaser? You really need a life guy. you were one of those people who said TDK would suck cause it had the brokeback mountain guy too I bet.
I agree with joseph, there is too much assumption is this editorial, we’ve only been given a trailer.
but we’ll always have people complaining that the movie is either not faithful to the comics or too faithful.
… Brad actually approved this?
I’m just going to assume this is some sort of badly-executed (and insulting) parody and pretend it never happened.
Also, a fair analysis would actually include whether the screenplay writers actually wrote good scripts (hello Steve Kloves and DHp2), or any of marc webb’s previous films, or the fact that no one even talks about emma stone or andrew garfield as actors in previous roles! That’s just irksome to me frankly.
At the risk of sounding like a troll, I haven’t read this. I promise I’ll get to it, but I feel like I already read your article in the comments section of the trailer post.
I agree with you on the fact that the new spider-man movie will most likely suck to die hard fans like you and I. I as a spider-man fan have been collecting his comics since I was twelve and am ninety three books away from having every copy of amazing ( yea me). The movies however Hollywood interpretation of what you and I love about the character. Take spider. man three the venom abomination was beyond horrible and the other goblin was lame to say the least. The one shining thing in the move was the potrail of sandman. The new re imagination or spider-man is not needed in hollywood or any other medium such as the catastrophe of Spider-man India, yes what if spider man was created in india stupid concept all around, My ex boss was stuck with 300 copies. The Dark emo peter parker is a fraud he was never emo and normally happy except when flash tompson wasn’t embarrassing him. I for one am seeing this with a jaded mind just to see what hollywood can screw up next.
I had a hard time reading this. Maybe writing in paragraphs would allow me follow more smoothly. I feel like there are so many statements, quotes and pictures inserted in between that takes me out of reading your editorial.
I really don’t see the need the be so derogatory when you haven’t seen the movie itself. I can understand analyzing the trailer but saying it is going to suck is a little harsh (can you imagine someone saying one of your pieces suck without even seeing it?). Lets face it, spiderman is going to be rebooted and someone has to take the reigns. I agree with Marc Webb and Steven Kloves that there is room to tell a new story. I think its primarily important to establish the Staceys and I think there is an importance to establishing the characters and cast.
I can understand when someone states that all the studio want money, but this should be accepted. The movie has already started and has already finished pre-production. Why should this be such a contributing factor to the movie sucking, we have not seen the movie on its on merits.