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AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #641
“One Moment in Time, Chapter Four: Something Blue”
Writer: Joe Quesada
Penciler: Paolo Rivera and Joe Quesada
Inker: Paolo Rivera and Danny Miki
Colorist: Paolo Rivera and Richard Isanove
“Spidey Sundays”
Writer: Stan Lee
Penciler: Marcos Martin
Inker: Marcos Martin
Colorist: Muntsa Vicente
Cover Art: Paolo Rivera
Variant Cover #1: Joe Quesada, Danny Miki, and Richard Isanove
Variant Cover #2: Beats me, there was no credit
Variant Cover #ENOUGH WITH THE VARIANTS ALREADY: Joe Quesada
Be warned – there are SPOILERS ahead!
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
This could be my last review.
Now that I’ve gotten the members of Zeta House excited, I should probably explain myself. You see, life sucks sometimes. For those rare groups of people that God seems to have a vendetta against for whatever reason, life REALLY sucks sometimes. And, when you’re in the middle of one of those situations, writing reviews for a comic book fansite – however enjoyable and fun that gig may be – becomes secondary.
What does this mean for you? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. The fact is, I may or may not be able to deliver these reviews in the same manner to which you are all now accustomed. Believe me, I’ll try to move heaven and earth to keep this gig, because I love it so dearly, but I may no longer be able to put them up day-and-date with the comics themselves. You may find a few reviews slipping dates and coming out later than usual – or you may find that nothing’s changed. Hell, you may find that, starting with The Amazing Spider-Man #642, there’s a new reviewer. (By the way, if I don’t ever get the opportunity to do so, here’s a two-word review: it sucks.) With everything in flux, it’s hard to tell you what to expect.
I can say this with certainty: regardless of what happens from here on out, it has been an honor and a privilege to be able to state, however presumptuously, that I was a reviewer for a site that has brought so much happiness and fun into my life in the past 20 months.
Now that all that drama is out of the way, let’s sit down, have a few drinks (if you’re over 21, or whatever the drinking age is in your country), and discuss the virulent, festering turd that is the conclusion of “One Moment in Time” – because boy, is this going to be a tough one to put into words!
The Plot
Continuing from last issue, Doctor Strange, Mr. Fantastic, and Tony Stark have an astral pow-wow to determine what to do about Peter. Strange wants to use their combined talents to create a wide-ranging mindwipe/alteration of time to restore the secret of Spider-Man’s identity, and after a long, long, looooong conversation, they agree to do it – with Peter being the only person to be left with the knowledge of what has transpired. During the process, Peter decides that Mary Jane should also retain the memory of these events, and he brings her inside of the “safe zone” Strange has created. After the mindwipe is finished, Peter and Mary Jane check into a motel and discuss all of these events. Mary Jane, who did not want to remember, breaks up with Peter because of her fears – that being the girlfriend of Spider-Man puts both her and everyone she loves in danger. In the present day, Mary Jane kisses Peter and tells him to move on. The issue ends with Spider-Man triumphantly accepting this (?!) and moving on.
The Good
I … um … HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!
The Bad
As always, my first impression always comes from the artwork. This issue leaves nothing but bad vibes in that department. Don’t get me wrong, I think that Paolo Rivera is a fine illustrator. The problem is, he’s barely utilized here – 90% of his pages take place in either an empty void or a room with swirling mist. That’s a waste of his talent. It’s like shooting a fly with a cannonball made of solid diamond.
But then … there’s the Quesada-drawn set of pages. OH BOY. There are fifteen – FIFTEEN – pages that are re-dialogued reprints from The Amazing Spider-Man #545, the final part of “One More Day.” FIFTEEN! I really can’t get over that. The new pages also look atrocious. I mean, just look at the panel to the left. That is not a human being!
Writing-wise, the issue is a mess. Quesada spends far too much time on the scene between Doctor Strange, Mr. Fantastic, and Tony Stark (complete with interstitial bits with Peter in-between, as if this issue wasn’t padded enough to begin with). We already know that the mindwipe happens, so why do we need to see them convince each other that it should happen? It’s a waste of space.
However, the real puppy-kicker is the scene in the motel. Mary Jane and Peter – who has been thrust right back into the sniveling, whining brat he was in One More Day – break up because Mary Jane can no longer deal with the threats introduced by being Spider-Man’s girlfriend. You know, territory that has been tread upon dozens upon dozens of times, all with the complete opposite result. For some reason, being chased by a fat, greasy Hispanic guy (must … resist … obvious … joke …) is more deleterious to her mental health than getting jumped by Venom, or Doctor Octopus, or The Chameleon, or any of the many others that have attacked Peter’s family over the decades. The “logic” is astounding.
Of course, the re-dialoguing of the OMD pages is clumsy and unintentionally funny. The entire time, I was chuckling and thinking about parody edits from the likes of Mightygodking and our very own Bertone. It’s that lazy.
Then, as if the reader hasn’t been punched in the groin often enough, we get the present-day scene of Mary Jane “releasing” Peter and telling him to move on. I was waiting for the inevitable “Carlie Cooper is awesome!” dialogue, but thankfully we were spared this time (though not for long … they saved it for next issue!). I mean really … Peter treats this like some kind of massive weight lifted off of his shoulders, while in reality it’s an obvious case of the characters being used as stand-ins for the writing/editing staff. They’re telling us, as readers, to move on from the idea of Mary Jane and Peter being together. She literally says: “You’ve been sitting here, wondering, waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.” (Subtlety is not this regime’s strong suit.) The scene – par for the course with this issue – makes absolutely no sense with these characters. None. Then again, it makes Mary Jane look like a real asshole: she’s not the right woman for him because she fears for the safety of both herself and those she loves, but she’ll gladly pass the burden to someone else. Classy!
Reflecting on the arc as a whole, I can safely establish that this was a terribly-written piece of claptrap with an obvious agenda. It wasn’t a story, it was a means to an end – a sequence of obligatory plot devices, padded over the expanse of four issues, to stick it to their detractors one more time.
However, even as a series of explanations, it fails. Where was Mephisto? How did the events of One More Day return Harry Osborn to life? How do stories like the Clone Saga make any sense without the marriage and, perhaps more importantly, Mary Jane’s pregnancy? For a story conceived solely to answer questions, it sure failed to answer questions. This story doesn’t justify its own existence – it fails in broad strokes. I didn’t think it was possible to have a single writer dump so much ass onto the pages of The Amazing Spider-Man, but here it is.
The Ugly
The four issues of One Moment in Time had FOURTEEN covers. (Plus, with The Amazing Spider-Man #642, there are seven covers for the two issues released today!) I, for one, am ashamed of Marvel for not having the testicular fortitude to pull out a die-cut chromium variant with a holodisk. Cowards.
The Bottom Line
To quote the Angry Video Game Nerd: “It’s so bad it sucks. It’s so fucking suck it fucks.” 2 out of 2 middle fingers.
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Well… ASM used to be my favorite comic book. When i eventually hand my comic collection down to my son, i think i’ll exclude all of this years spidermans to save myself the embarrasment.
Well said, bro.
You’re right, Jake. I have decided that the army of hack writers and artists have finally managed to irreparably break ASM. I will just be one of the legion of long-time spidey fans who has endured hack writing and third-rate artists for too long, and finally just gave up and said “I quit” and will find another book to read.
Mary Jane is too great a character for Joe Q to trash like that.
I should have just paid someone the $16 this arc cost to kick me in the nuts – it would have been less painful!
Honest review, horrible issue. The rating system is what I felt like after reading this issue.
P.S. I didn’t want the marriage to end but have accepted it. I just wish it would have made sense and been worth it. Why not give them a divorce and deal with how hard that is to go through, even for a Super hero. Why all this magic garbage? Oh well.
I’m not one to bash Joe Q or really anyone for that matter but OMIT was a really awful waste of time. This whole thing was so out of character for Mary Jane and for Peter. It didn’t even seem to end the marriage, it’s like she just released Peter to be a bachelor. J. M. S. dealt with MJ’s doubts about the marriage and then we saw how ultimately Peter and MJ cannot be without each other, because they are deeply in love. Where was Mephisto in all this? How coul dPeter go from being sooooo in love to just being all happy and free as a bachelor in the last page. This was really awful story telling. The art was terrible. The art in the next issue is even worse though so I guess we should count our blessings.
One word sums up this issue: HORRIBLE! Quesada’s art was terrible! Did he intentionally try to make MJ as dumpy and unattractive as possible? And as we suspected all along MJ was made out to be the heavy. She didn’t have the willpower or strength to handle being Spidey’s girlfriend. Really? That’s what did the marriage in? She wanted to forget? WTF?!?
I am so glad that was the last issue of ASM I ever spend a dime on. Joey Q and Marvel can keep that train wreck of a title.
It was nothing more the an over-dramatization based on Joe thinking he had a vision, but really wanted things the way he wanted them to be which so far has backfire.
I remember a time where ideas had plans to back them up to make them work as a plot, and even though there are some exceptions, we’ve been getting nothing but “The Next Big Thing” gimmicks which have been like Michael Bay with free reign to special effects, especially when it comes to Spider-Man series where they been using gimmicks to keep it going.
Removing the marriage and making the said marriage a mistake was lame and lazy. MJ has proven to be the girl for him, and if Joe has any say of it, Peter will “NEVER” find that girl waiting for him since Joe thinks he has to be the ultimate loser to appeal to the younger audience. When I was young I had some troubles, but this is getting old with no direction and issue #642 proves it where it could have been blank pages and you probably wouldn’t have notice because of how empty the plot was on that.
They need to start putting some effort on the character and less self-proclaiming they’re the best in the industry because this is a hobby for us readers, not a way of life as if we’re losers ourselves.
Thanks for the review…. Makes me feel like Joe Q is the 1984-86 Jim Shooter of the 21st century… A simple remark to Gerard (good luck btw), Harry’s return was explained inthe Molten Man story around #590 – Goblin serum IIRC. Yet did they ever explain the disapearance of the organic web shooters? Not that I miss them but… (I haven’t read OMIT it may be explained there…). Cheers.
Whine all you want but There is only one solution for those who hate the direction of the titles. Stop buying them as I did back in January. I know you think you are fighting for the restoration of the Spidey we all loved, but he’s gone. Only regime change will bring story change. Only ignoring the books will bring that about.
Why didn’t Quesada just draw himself into the book, have himself pull down his pants, moon the readers, and tell them all to go fuck themselves? It would have been more direct, honest, and the shock probably would have increased sales for a week.
“Two middle fingers up” is the best way to review this.
The amazing thing is that 639 + 640 seemed to be the beginning of a decent arc….
Oh it’s alowed but calling Gerard selfesh was just plain…stupid. Gerard shares the opinion of a large portion of the people who read the book, thus negating the statement.
Your opening remarks reminded me of The Clash song — should I stay or Should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble, but if I go it will be double… etc..
And no we’re not getting excited at Zeta House.
And Funnykay, there’s nothing wrong with that picture except you disagree with someone who didn’t like the review. Is that not allowed anymore?
Lol @ the rating system
Despite all the perfect shit storm that is OMIT I’ve seen a slim, and do I mean slim, silver lining. In the beggining what MJ whisperred to Mesphito, you leave Peter alone yada yada yada. I doubt it was Quesada not realizing what he was writing but rather ‘they’ve’ forced him to put a fail safe, a way to end this abomination called the BND era. I for one demand it to be activated NOW!!!! Fuck that third part Quesada has hinted and end it now! Who the fuck is gonna wait for the third part which I truly believe will not end with the marriage reinstated. Gerald I have nothing but respect for you. Good luck.
Please don’t go Gerard. We go through ASM reviewers like we go through clean underwear (I think that makes sense, right?). Besides, none of the other reviewers ever post their reviews on the day the comic comes out. I know you are all for quality of excellence, but it’s just us. We can wait.
@Jake: I see 18 posters who agree with Gerard’s review (I being one of them), and then I see you…and yet you call him selfish. I see something wrong with this picture.
I wish Gerard well with whatever life has in store for you…
Cheers…
Blah blah blah, I hate Quesada, blah blah blah, my interpretation of the characters is the only one that makes sense, blah blah selfish blah blah. Just give it a rest already dude. Quit reading if you don’t like it. Oh, and thanks for the two word review of the absolutely magnificent next issue, too. Maybe we can get a real reviewer in here now. Good riddance.
man, i hate when people say “don’t get me wrong…”!!!
OK honestly. I’m so fucking disappointed/angry right now. How on earth can Quesada even think that the fans are going to accept THIS as an answer to anything? He deformed Mary Jane (and her FACE?! wtf…) beyond recognition and I can’t stand it! As flawed/rushed as the original wedding may have been, this sucks just so much more. Plus who else beside Peter is so dear to her that she would have to be scared? Only Anna, and she hardly ever was a target…basically Quesada says she is only scared for herself thus making her a giant ass. GREAT! My only canon from now on is going to be the freaking Newspaper strip! At least there she is still herself AND married to Peter (as it fucking should be after 20 years!)
Also, Gerard, I wish you all the best and hope that you can continue doing what you love.
Gerard, I’ve been reading your reviews because I refuse to read the comic any more. Thank you for putting up with this garbage so we don’t have to. I can’t see why they’d get rid of you for simply speaking the truth.
I am done with Marvel for good.
Interesting things you left out Gerard…and something weird to consider.
– Parallel Lives is referenced in this issue. That’s right, thus reinforcing it as canon. Peter notes she has known since she is 16 or 17…and he crawling out a window.
– Reed refers to it as The Anamnesis Storm…which literally means “loss of forgefulness”, but here they use it to force a fake memory on the Marvel U…but it won’t work on me.
– So the mindwipe is a combination of a computer virus and magic…Comic science…LOL!
– Does Aunt May remember Jarvis? Living at Avengers mansion? No answer there…
– If you love somebody set them free??? How corny can you get?
Lastly, all the OMD bits are what MJ and Peter remember…but we saw the original story with Mephisto stating they would not remember him or their deal. So OMIT is what they remember from the deal. From my vantage point, Mephisto kept his end of the bargain. Not only has he altered everyone’s memory…he now has Peter thinking (and anyone that takes this story at face value…) that Dr. Strange did it! Thus providing a blow to his other enemy as well.. way to go Peter.
No matter, this entire storyline has to be one of the worst ideas to get rid of the marriage that was\but wasn’t…simply idiotic….
“You’ve been sitting here, wondering, waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.”
Does that refer to the marriage being reinstated? Or does it refer to anyone who thought that OMIT was actually going to tie up all of the myriad loose ends that OMD and BND brought up? Because apparently while Quesada’s in charge, that’s never going to happen, either!
QUesada really hates MJ… sooo many politically uncorrect jokes come to mi mind.
@Stephen C, I really hope so. It’s just a shame that the Peter and MJ in this arc were just mere shells of the characters we all know and have grown to known.
… is anyone surprised?
Gerard, don’t go. Who will tuck me in at night? Who will read me hilarious bedtime stories/bad reviews?
Besides, I’m pretty sure there’s no real deadline to post these things. Take your time.
Okay… The review says some good things and some bad things.
It wasn’t THAT bad… The first 3 parts make it seem that the last issue will be packed and show us SOO much, and it DOES. Yes, it does.
Sure, no Harry Osborn-back-to-life, no clone saga explanation, etc, but it answers the EVENTS of OMD, it doesn’t deal with Mephisto because it CAN’T.
I am not happy with the outcome, but it sure does explain a lot. And it’s good that they are now “together”, although the end of 641 doesn’t imply that, but just check Marvel’s article about 642, that does STATE that MJ and Pete are back together.
Now, I can’t wait to see more of this. I’m sure plenty of people were mad at it when Gwen died, when MJ and Pete got MARRIED, so many answers needed, so many things have happened, so much and we always want more answers, we always throw tomatoes at Marvel, but we shouldn’t.
My conclusion:
Give it some time, it’ll get straightened out.
Remember, now, that [someone] said there will even be a follow-up to THIS story, so it is definitely not over yet.
Good day..
OMIT still left a bunch of questions unanswered and the story just plained sucked. Time to start reading Batman.
After I finished this book today I threw it in the trash. I just don’t even care what’s happening in the series anymore. For now, I’m done with all things Spider-Man, perhaps even all things Marvel.
Hopefully a few years down the road Marvel will sort out its priorities and this book will be cleaned up and restored to the way it belongs. If not… I don’t see myself returning to ASM.
I can’t put into words how disappointed I am in this story. MJ is a much stronger character than this.
“The four issues of One Moment in Time had FOURTEEN covers.”
That’s the only way they could get the thrice-damned thing to sell over 60K.
Best wishes Gerard and I hope you can continue doing the reviews.
Well, One Omit In Time (TM) is over, and it truly did suck harder than possibly imagined. There are 20 YEARS worth of Spiderman comics that show Mary Jane as a dutiful partner who is NOT afraid of the danger of being spider man’s wife. Of course, this is all thrown away by the idiots in charge now. I’m glad I stopped buying ASM books a while ago, certainly I won’t start now. I may just stop buying Marvel books altogether; Avengers Academy is the only one I really love, and they’re all 3.99 now anyway. DC, for its faults, still has most of its books priced at $2.99. Good riddance.
One of the many things wrong with OMIT was that it was so boring! I swear Bendis gave Joe the idea to have the characters talking to each other for 3/4 of the arc.
This story is Joe Q’s middle finger to the fans and it was so badly written done that it shows how incompetent the people in charge of marvel are now. you know why they have the variant covers right? because the book does not sell with out them.
An awful conclusion to an arc that didn’t look too bad based on it’s first three parts.
This to me was the final straw.
I didn’t want to see the marriage re-instated, or even a perfect story, I just wanted a decent explanation of what occurred in OMD.
Instead we got Joe Quesada FORCING his regime upon on us once more, and besmirching a good characters name in doing so, through MJ.
Truly disgraceful.