THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #638 Review

91 Comments

1. Deal with the devil: stupidest thing in Marvel history.

   No being able to reschedule a wedding: second stupidest.

   Quesada getting away with running the “it’s still selling great” argument: shame on the lickspittles online who tout that crap.

   PS,

   it isn’t still selling great. It’s lost a third of its readership.

2. You review is dead on.
   After 35 years, I am finished. Spider-man was one of the first comics I ever purchased and the first I truly collected. I used to be proud to say that I owned every issue of ASM ever published. Now, not so much. The decision to disappear the marriage didn’t sit well with me, but I decided to give them time to work it out. Ret-cons have always been a part of comics and I figured to give this a chance. Since then we have been subjected to so-so writing, spotty art work and stories that just don’t work. This however is the last straw. This story seeks to take the steamy pile they hoisted on us and “polish” it a second time. Well, a turd is a turd no matter how you try to sell it. In this case, though, the manner in which Peter and MJ go their separate ways doesn’t fit within established history and seems forced into present ret-conned history. Peter saying he feels free now that MJ told him to beat it flies in the face of his decision, NOT PAGES EARLIER, to bring her with him into the new Dr. Strange amnesia world. It would better to simply just act like the marriage never happened. At least that wouldn’t involve multiple insults to my intelligence or loyalty. As of today, I no longer collect ASM.

3. Okay, no one else said it, no one will probably say it, I’m going to say it,,,WORSE THAN CLONE WARS. Far WORSE. At least with Clone Wars, we got Ben out of the deal. But this?!

4. I always told myself that I would eventually return to buying ASM. I just can’t. I walk into a comic book store glance and see what’s going on with Spiderman and see that Kravens back; peter got new powers; Aunt May married JJJ; Harry’s back and is Peter’s friend. And the best is something called Mephisto, a demon, erased everyone’s memory in the Marvel Universe to save Aunt May and Peter’s unmasking, in return, Peter and MJ never hooked up. WTF. I’ve been checking the reviews on this site for years to see if there’s some reason I should return and catch up with ASM. I just can’t. That’s my way of protesting. Want to know how to write a demon tale-pick up RIP in Batman. Want to know how to write someone returning from the dead-pick up the return of Bruce Wayne. Even the Return of Bruce Wayne is so effing far fetched-but it’s written so well, you can ignore the fact, that, well…someone is returning from the effing dead. I enjoy your reviews, please keep it up because it’ll be the only way I will ever know whether or not the powers that be have made things right with the ASM. YO!

5. “PETER MISSES HIS WEDDING DAY BECAUSE HE’S PINNED UNDERNEATH A FAT GUY.”

   …It’s funny how art imitates real-life sometimes. (We all know what I mean, so I’ll leave it at that.)

6. Great Review. I hated this issue so much. This was not worth the four bucks I paid. %^&* this series. I’m going back to Ult. Spidey. ****, I’ll just write my own stuff. It’s better than the crap Quesada’s giving us.

7. HOLY SHIT!!! I’ve figured it out! I know why MJ asked Mesphito to leave Peter alone! Because he’s the key to Thano’ demise. Mesphito was Thano’s first follower when he got Infinity Gauntlet. Some cosmic level guys changed Peter’s destiny so he would unleash Adam Warlock from the Soul Gem so he could defeat Thanos. It’s probably that or Mesphito is still pissed Spidey rescued the Spirit of Christmas (he’s an angel) from him. GRUDGES NEVER DIE! Weird Mesphito chose Spidey as his champion when he betted against the Beyonder.

8. It (What If? # 20) was an okay story…if I remember correctly, he leaves MJ because of the danger to her being with him, and ands up marrying Black Cat – who quickly ends up totally fucking up Peter’s life….I haven’t read it in about 10 years….
   As for OMIT – I’ve seriously never been this close to dropping ASM…however, that would make my wife happy, so I won’t do it.

9. I was looking through What If? covers and noticed that What If? #20 was “What if Spider-Mana nd MAry Jane had never gotten married.” I can’t find the inside of the issue anywhere.

   Does anyone know how it compares to this crap?

10. I have loved BND for the most part but this issue was simply not good, and this review pretty much details why….and I don’t think it even mentioned the fact that the fat guy tossed a cinder block all the way up to Spider-man who was on a water tower, with enough force to knock him silly….which is a feat in itself but Spider-man also has a Spider Sense last time I checked…..

11. It’s not the review per se I have a problem with it’s the comments that people who like the current direction on ASM are “groveling sycophants” and not “real fans”. Those comments are a disgrace and I’m surprised they were allowed through. That sort of histrionic hissy fitting has no place in a review.

12. Ah Gerard, god bless you. That was gold. And, no doubt, spot on the money.

    But of course, I wouldn’t know, having dropped the title 30 issues ago. A book that I’d bought every single month since 1984. But such is the shitty standard of the title these days that Quesada and co convinced me to drop yet another of my ‘undroppable’ books. And, of course, the thrice-monthly format has proved so overwhelmingly successful that it’s being shelved for a bi-weekly book instead. Keep moving those deckchairs, Wacker – I’m sure you’ll stop the ship from sinking eventually.

13. i just read this steaming pile of shit. if you ask me the story is not worth these discussions. we shouldnt even spend a second of our precious life debating this utter crap

14. You can agree or disagree with Gerard, but I’ve never seen so much discussion with any other reviewer on the site in my 12 year history. They’re up to five pages on CBR talking about it.
    http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=332265

15. I’ve been reading Spider-Man stories for 30 years, and I can’t recall any stories that come close the the stink that Joe Quesada wrote. I did not pick up OMD because the whole deal with Mephisto to save Aunt May, who already died, just so the end the marriage could be retconned. This story was against everything Peter Parker stands for. The marriage signified Peter’s growing maturity and responsibility. Now Peter acts less mature than he was in Amazing Fantasy #15. I picked up the first issue of OMIT out of morbid curiosity, but I don’t think I waste any more funds on Joe Quesada’s garbage.

16. First off: Mary Jane Watson is definitely not manipulating and doesn’t have bad motives towards Peter or anyone. So, the One More Day and Brand New Day story arcs are secretly a parallel universe that sucks balls compared to the true original real Marvel Universe. There may be some great writing and stories that deal with serious, somewhat dark, gritty, and political plots, BUT Peter Parker is Joe Quesada in disquise who agrees that making deals with Satan is the right thing to do which makes no sense whether your Christian or not. In reality, I’ve read true biographies of people who were once Satanists but finally came to realize that the Devil is evil and really doesn’t care for his followers by making empty promises, using them, and making them dead/depressed inside. The result and answer is that God/Jesus Christ steps into their lives, proves how trustworthy and loving He really is, and those Satanists have now become Christians who are against the demonic entity that deceived them. This O.M.I.T story I will never read along with One More Day and the Brand New Day series. Joe Quesada needs to be replaced with an Editor-in-Chief that is a born Spider-Man/MJ/their marriage fan and who honestly sympathizes with their fans. And I do like Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man, but Joe has made sure that Mary Jane won’t be introduced into that series anytime soon which sucks. Joe has made the mistake of thinking that Peter Parker should be lonely and pathetic like Bruce Wayne (Quesada is really a Batman fan) and that Mary Jane isn’t a popular, loved character. Last: Friendship, Relationship, Love, and Marriage are important special elements that should be taken seriously in life and the comics.

17. Marvel doesn’t seem to care about what the fans thing anymore. We could writer a million E-Mails, Postcards, and letters with the same opinion and it wouldn’t matter. It’s all about what Joe wants.

18. Yes!!! Great review, and you’re right. We the Spider-Man fans should NOT have to stand for this crap that they’re pouring out now (which is sad since Marvel does in fact have some quality comics.)
    Too bad no one will ever listen to us.

19. Wow 72 comments already, well heres one more with my thoughts. Mainly Spider-man missing a wedding becuase a common hood fell on him is about the lamest reason for missing his wedding. The humor was ok, the holiday inn joke and the final panel where Peters sayign they need more tea and MJ is pouring more wine was pretty funny. Normally I give 2 stars if the art is good becuase that makes up half the comic experience. In this case it merits a one star, while one artist is really good the other plainly can only draw faces for down syndrome people and drunks, theres also not enough origional material to give merit to. Overall this is just edges a little better than Shed for me based on some of the art that didnt make the story hard to follow. Rating: *

20. I haven’t noticed before today that the horn on the top of that building is placed like a tear coming out of Spider-Man’s mask lens

21. I do NOT like where this story is going; like most of gang here, it pains me that we’ve had to go through this OMD unhappiness. But I have to say, this was not nearly as bad as the reviewer found it.
    It would have been nice to get Paul Ryan back to do some new stuff, or at least re-colour his old stuff. The overall pacing was fine, and the whole thing had an air of impending doom about it. The MJ/Devil dialogue at the being… hmm, I think the main point isn’t what MJ says, but the what the devil says back. I think this may be Marvel’s way of doing a ‘pandorica’ and saying the continuity we’ve experienced since the wedding was the divergent one and what we’re going to get now is a ‘corrected’ one… We’ll see!
    Joe Q’s are was very stylised. I think he’s using a computer to do the set designs, but the faces he draws look inconsistent. Why does he refuse to give MJ her trademark dimples?!

22. I didn’t read the issue itself and probably never will because I do not want that story in my brain. For me the wedding happens and Marvel goes into the Spider-Girl universe. Which is sadly coming to an end too. ARG…

    I have had the story described to me and have read spoilers along with reviews like this. Arguably I feel the opinion of anyone who has read any given subject is more valid than one who hasn’t, but even reading reviews that were positive about this story… Well it still feels mind numbingly stupid and insult to the intelligence of comic buying fans.

    Not going to give up on Marvel or anything since I like almost everything else they are doing right now. Still blows that they are messing up my favorite fictional character big time.

    Ah well, guess I have Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions and Marvel vs. Capcom 3 to look forward to. He has been CONFIRMED to be married in MVC 3 at the very least heh heh (assuming he’s in the game but there’s a BIG chance he’s in lol)! I don’t know Spidey’s marital status in Shattered Dimensions but with the 4 Spidey voice actors I really don’t care. I just hope Activision doesn’t screw up the game like they always do OOOH… Only so much a Spidey fan can take… ^_^;

23. @ Donovan Grant: “And thus with this review, the second wave of Brand New Day Spider-Man has truly begun. Strap yourselves in, as not everyone will make it out of here intact.”

    You make it sound like some of us won’t make it to the next sequel… God I hope I don’t get killed off.

    Back to Gerard’s review; I couldn’t help but laugh when you mentioned how Peter missed his wedding, that’s how much the issue actually annoyed me. I LAUGHED FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT A BAD ISSUE. I feel so bad for the MJ character, she’s the victim here along with the rest of us.

24. I’m glad I bailed after ONE MORE DAY. I check the web occasionally to see whats up, and WTF it’s now worse than it was. This is unreal and insane. One definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result. Marvel is fucking insane, period. It’s been over two years and they still don’t get it! I loved all things pre OMD, too bad it’s been destroyed by some dumb fucking idiot who lucked into a job. However, if they OMITed everything since OMD, I’d come back. Till then, I’ll save my money! Good luck to you all who continue to give them their paychecks. If you see something you don’t agree with and you don’t do something about it, then your saying it’s okay. The next arc should be called W.F.U. for We Fucked Up!

25. why dont they just break up Super-Man from Louis Lane or Jarvis from Batman.

    Spider-Man and MJ are a staple now – it seems as though they want to go back to making it a staple character but now they have made him worse off.

    Some nut head upstairs at marvel remembers reading Spider-Man when he was single and now thinks that this is the way SPider-Man was meant to be.. what a load of garbage.

    Stan Lee got him married just as much as he got him bitten by a radioactive spider.

    As SPider-Man/Fantastic Four#1 has shown – stories from era of Spider-Mans past can be written effectively.

26. Hey guys I have a crazy idea, what if OMIT is the end of BND. I belive that Peter and MJ are going to get back together at the end of this crappy arc, (A FAT REALY!) and their marriaged will be reset, with them both remebering everything that happened in BND. (Just like in House of M). For this to happen MJ would have to already know everthing that hapened in OMD. Now how Quesada is going is to explane any of this is anyone’s guess, (it cant’t getting any more worst, can it?) but I STRONGLY belive that the worst era since the clone saga is ending in the next three issues…I hope.

27. Blame Joe Quesada for what… 3 years of terrible Spider-man stories? This man is the the anti-Spidey. His actions are an utter insult, no abomination to everything Spider-man. My examples: OMD, the fucking awful BND status quo and now OMIT. AND he says there’s a third part to the OMD saga. If he single handedly ruined Marvel’s flagship character imagine him getting involved with Cap America or the Avengers. I pray to the big guy upstairs to end the horrors brought on by Quesada.

28. Also, for some reason, the missing comma in the last line of the issue cracks me up:

    “Yeah, you go do that tiger.”

    Do it good.

29. Yeah, this was pretty bad in all the ways that people have already pointed out… But Peter missing the wedding because of an absurd run of bad luck doesn’t seem too far-fetched. I could see Stan Lee putting him through something like that. Now, that said, it was set up and executed very clumsily — as someone said, why didn’t the cop call it in?

30. And might I add… WHO really thought they were gonna fix ANYTHING?

31. Joe Q. is just indecent. I say we stop buying ASM until this crap is fixed.

32. @Farley: “Disappointed at the “whisper” reveal, it still doesn’t explain how MJ can remember when no-one else can.”

    Well, to be fair, nowhere yet in BND has it been stated that MJ remembers *anything* about Mephisto and the deal. We have yet to see how the “psychic blindspot” is created, and it’s entirely possible Peter re-revealed himself to MJ, especially if he was still living with her at the time he did it.

    I think many fans assumed the whisper was about her remembering the deal, maybe to be used by Marvel as an “out” if it was needed, and that’s just colored how people have read her scenes since BND started. But there’s no solid evidence that she remembers anything. The best we got is her comments in the Paper-doll arc, about knowing Peter/Spidey “in another life”, and those are ambiguous at best. Marvel can easily just say MJ was speaking metaphorically about their past relationship, and her (at the time) having moved on and away.

    Yea, it doesn’t really satisfy me either, but I’m just saying that based on what the whisper reveal actually, truly is, unless the next 3 issues show otherwise, I think we are all meant to assume that MJ does *not* remember Mephisto or the deal, either.

33. @Two-Bit re: Superman 701: I guess you could say Supes was written out of character, but that’s why I liked it, because the “regular” Superman character is pretty boring. I mean, he is invulnerable, invincible, basically God-like, it’s hard to make a character like that interesting. That’s why I like this whole “walking the earth” storyline, it’s better than him in space fighting some other invulnerable creature.
    Anyway, sorry for all the Superman talk, but One Omit In Time (TM) was so bad, it’s depressing to think about what Marvel has done to the formerly greatest comic book character ever created.

34. Excellent review Gerard. Right on target with all your comments.

    I totally agree that this issue was a steaming pile of excrement. They retcon the retcon, as Farley pointed out we get the reveal of what MJ whispered to Mephisto, but it doesn’t explain how she remembers anything (or even if she does). The comment by MJ to Peter that things between them can “never, ever” be like they were was aimed at the fans of the marriage. Basically Joe saying the marriage is never coming back so long as he holds the reins at Marvel. Joe’s art was horrible and his depiction of MJ was just totally off. The constant switch between art, current pages and reprints was jarring at best, disconcerting in the least.

    And what of Spidey’s comment to Eddie, “don’t you respect the institution of marriage” (or words to that effect) felt like another shot at those that despise OMD/BND. Most of the book come across more as a thumbing of the nose at long time Spidey fans than a sincere desire to explain what happened to stop the marriage.

    The taking of panels from the annual, out of context, expressing nothing but doubt and misgivings by everyone were used specifically to push the story and fit right into Joey Q’s agenda. And how does it end? Spidey saves the fat piece of crap, falls a few stories with the fat guy on top of him, and misses his wedding? How long was he supposed to be out anyway? 12 hours? More? WTF?!? Really? So the cop, his wife, and any cops showing up to the scene when it is reported don’t find Spidey lying in the alley right next to the building? Really?

    This was just horrible. I agree that this issue surpassed the suck factor of OMD and I thought that was impossible.

35. @Jon M. Wilson – I couldn’t agree more. That’s the way I saw/read the issue.
    As I said on another message board, I believe the fat guy event is only the catalyst to the actual reason the wedding did not happen.

36. Heh, anyone else notice on the variant cover the trash bin’s label has Quesada’s signature on it? A clever man, he can be…

37. @Two-Bit, I’m not sure how the lines get drawn on the message board. I don’t know if the fact that OMD totally pissed me off but I’ve mostly gotten over it and moved on makes me pro-OMD or not. I did have some problems with 638 as a chapter of OMD, but it didn’t resurrect the anger I felt two years ago, either. I just didn’t see it as especially evil in its own right. I guess I’m just reading it on its own terms and trying to understand the mythology we’ve been given. My three biggest problems with the story actually stem from Quesada’s depiction of Mary Jane (he drew an attractive woman, sure, but she’s not wearing MJ’s face), the Mephisto-bird scene (made no sense), and the whisper (sooo anticlimactic). Everything else is depicting what “really happened” in place of annual 21, and I’m taking it on those terms. Is it a great story? No. But I’ve seen way worse in the last two years and before.

38. Thanks, Jon 🙂 Sadly that’s what I was afraid to hear, hahah.

39. Fat Guy doesn’t seem to have been seriously injured. He landed on the Spider, who was sandwiched between Fat Guy and pavement at the moment of impact. I guess the logic is that landing on another body helped to cushion his fall. And that the combined sandwich-impact is what knocked out Peter. Not saying I like that logic much, but it’s just how I read the story. Also, being sandwiched in the fall may help to explain why Peter didn’t wake up more quickly or easily. Busted ribs, maybe? Even when he does wake up at the end, he ain’t moving. But I’m sure we’ll see more of that in 639.

40. smart

41. And here I thought pro-OMD fans weren’t going to be able to like this issue.