AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #630
“Shed, Part One”
Writer: Zeb Wells
Penciler: Chris Bachalo
Inker: Tim Townsend and Jaime Mendoza
Colorist: Antonio Fabela
Cover Art: Chris Bachalo and Tim Townsend
Variant Cover Art: Joe Quinones
Be warned – there are SPOILERS ahead!
Suspenseful. Well-illustrated. Exciting. Character-driven. A great setup for future issues.
All of these statements perfectly describe The Spectacular Spider-Girl #1, which hit stores today. Unfortunately, I’m not reviewing that book. I have to review The Amazing Spider-Man #630 instead.
Give me a second to pull some whiskey, and then we can start. **GLUG**
The Plot
Spider-Man and the Black Cat bust up some crime. Aunt May acts like a bitch again. Curt Connors gets jerked around by family services, his boss, and even his lab assistant. The Kravinoffs continue their machinations. Peter and Carlie grow closer. Connors flips his lid.
The Good
We get to see a couple of supporting characters that aren’t Carlie Cooper! It’s been a while since we’ve seen Harry, and although he only shows up briefly, it was good to see that the Webheads haven’t forgotten that he exists. Negative Aunt May shows up again, and … well …
There are some clever (if overly “cute”) dialogue exchanges in this issue. I like good wordplay when it’s used correctly, and Zeb Wells got to show off some snappy banter in a few spots. The bit with Carlie was a good example of this.
The Bad
Everything else.
Okay, that’s a cheat. Allow me to explain …
To begin with, the issue starts with a Black Cat scene that seems to exist solely to remind us that (a) she has a civilian identity working at the Mayor’s office, and (b) she and Peter are sex buddies, and not dating. Okay …? Why was this scene necessary? For one thing, we haven’t seen anything regarding the mayoral job subplot outside of a short, lousy backup from many months ago. I really don’t care about it, because we haven’t seen it have any impact on the stories at all. As far as the sex thing, they don’t have to beat us over the heads with it every single time she shows up. WE GET IT. We don’t need to be reminded constantly that she likes the taste of his salami. (And if you think that reference is a bit much for a front-page article, don’t bother to complain. If they can talk frankly about this in an A-rated comic, I can talk about it in a PG-rated article.)
Aunt May makes another appearance, still under the influence of being made “negative.” This subplot has lasted well past its expiration date, and frankly I’m so tired of it that I would rather experiment with other things past their expiration date, like bologna. (Is anybody else sensing a deli meats theme to this review? Also, why am I asking so many rhetorical questions?) Seriously, though, can we just freaking get on with this already? Isn’t the entire point of publishing this book three times a month so that we can get snappier, faster storylines? When Aunt May married J. Jonah Jameson Sr., that was the perfect opportunity to write her out of the series – they could move to Florida like a lot of retired couples and live their twilight days happily ever after. Instead, we get this lame-ass attempt to make her relevant to the ongoing narrative. Honestly, that great short by J.M. DeMatteis from Web of Spider-Man a few months ago should have been “The End” for Aunt May. That would have been a much better way to go than this nauseating waste of a plotline.
Curt Connors has problems with his son, and is fighting to suppress his inner Lizard. Ho, hum. I didn’t find that story very interesting the first twelve times I read it, and it’s not very interesting here either. There’s a mildly entertaining twist to it, but nothing that changes my opinion of this overly recycled plot.
Lastly, but certainly not to be ignored in terms of significance, is that art. Chris Bachalo’s art has been described to me as an acquired taste, and let me state clearly that I haven’t acquired it. It’s one thing to have an exaggerated style, but it’s another thing to draw Spider-Man like a Muppet Babies version of the character. This issue is a mess – Spider-Man looks like a garbage bag filled with cotton, Harry Osborn looks to be about 45 years old, and some pages are so spare in terms of background illustration that they appear to take place in monochromatic voids in space. I liked his art a lot better fifteen years ago when he drew things that looked like the things they were supposed to look like. And, thanks to Donovan for reminding me – in a couple of scenes, Connors has two arms, whereas in the climactic scene at the end, he only has one. What the — ?!
By the way, if Curt Connors needs a serum to suppress his Lizard transformations, why in the holy hell doesn’t he carry multiple vials of the stuff on his person at all times?!
The Ugly
If you’re like me, you probably skim over the introduction page. After all, I read the book regularly, so I should be aware of what’s going on. Since the Q train was running a little slow today, I decided to read it. And boy, did it piss me off.
If the recap page is to be believed, thanks to “unemployment, an aunt who has her hands full with a new marriage, and his own exhaustion, Peter Parker has slowly started to lose steam.” Really? Because outside of being told so by that sentence, I haven’t gotten any of that from the actual stories. “After facing down foe after foe, Spider-Man has been drained emotionally and physically.” Wow, Peter is pretty a pretty impressive actor, then, because I haven’t gotten that impression at all from the stories I’ve been reading.
Back in the Silver Age, exposition was necessary to tie together certain story elements and move the plot because the stories were usually told in a single issue. That isn’t the case anymore. Stories develop over multiple issues, the pagecount is larger, and “decompression” rules. Why are we being told, rather than shown, any of this so-called “drain” on Peter? He seems to be joking and bouncing around in the issues, but the recaps paint a different picture. It’s as if the editorial staff and the writing staff are telling two different stories entirely …
The Bottom Line
I didn’t like this issue at all. It’s a boring, poorly told setup to a story I have no interest in reading, with so many small, irritating elements that the final product is dragged down because of them. I hope Wells has a few tricks up his sleeve for the rest of this arc, because this issue sucked. 1 out of 5 webheads.
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I read the 631 review at work and couldn’t stop laughing. My coworker’s like, “what the hell’s a matter with you?” She’s a douche bag and is currently telling the secretary about how good Home Alone was. She’s like 50. Anyway…So I had to read 630’s review. Good stuff. No matter how good the book is written, Amazing is just a mess now. I don’t think they care anymore because it’s always going to be a brand that people will buy and now that Disney’s in charge, so who cares. I can’t start reading amazing again without thinking wtf is going on?! Oh, so Aunt May’s not dead. Oh, she married JJJ. Norman and Harry are alive?! Eddie Brock’s an avenger, or something? Wasn’t he eating people’s brains? Oh, Pete and mj never got married? Oh, a demon changed the entire continuum of Amazing and now only a select few know Peter is Spidey. Effing garbage. For some reason I picked up a Batman book, I think it was the RIP thing, and I haven’t looked back. The art in Batman and Robin sucks ass, but the writing makes up for it. So, if amazing had shitty art, it could have the writing to fall back on. Whatever. Make mine DC until Spiderman 4, that’s when the powers that be will probably reboot Amazing again and Mickey mouse will be the symbol on his suit instead or some stupid sh** like that.
Mountains out of molehills, guys. Read the review and think it was really far off. I loved this issue, and actually think this was one of the first issues (aside from Stern’s stuff last arc) that made me think Carlie Cooper was a worthwhile character. And Bachalo killed it on art! The Black Cat stuff? I agree, I was really taken aback by the fact that she was working for JJJ (I guess I’ll have to go back and read the backup), but other than that, I think it was handled SO much better than that masked sex thing a few issues back. Even Aunt May was handled in a way that would have been realistic even if you weren’t aware of the whole Mr. Negative thing.
Personally, Zeb’s my favorite of the lot, and I wish he did more. If it were just him, Joe Kelly, and Dan Slott writing Spidey, I’d be one happy web-head. If you’re thinking of skipping this issue based on the review, I’m begging you to reconsider. It’s obvious Gerard has his issues with the story, but I honestly don’t agree with a single one of them (well, besides the working for the mayor thing… seriously, wtf?!)
Firstly, Right on about Spider-girl, it was a great issue and everyone should buy that rather than ASM. Secondly, right on again re: the black cat subplot. If OMD was about giving the character a “fresh new start”, than why am I reading plot lines that happened in the early 80’s? I’ll just go back and read Spectacular Spider Man circa issue 80 or so for stories about Peter trying to figure out what his relationship with the cat is. What’s appealing about Peter going through the same plot lines that he did in the late 70’s, early 80’s? Is he just supposed to perpetually be a 25 year old loser and never grow in any way?
Gerard, you make me wanna pick up Spider-Girl and give it another try!
@Jonny–Yes and no. I’ve tended to use my real name along with my callsign when posting at places like Comic Culture Warrior or Topless Robot long before Slott’s “request.” Not to mention, after what happened with the whole “Slott and Farmernudie” debacle this weekend, I figured might as well be on the safe side.
Is the using your real name a response to Slott wanting more people to use their real name Mike/stillanerd?
While I certainly liked this issue better than you did, Gerald, I will say that I agree the weakest aspects about this issue were whenever Wells focused on Peter personal relationships with both the Black Cat and Carlie Cooper. With regards to the last one, given how Harry tells Peter how “perfect” Carlie is for Peter, that he’s now free to pursue her since his “friends with benefits” arrangement with Felicia appears to have fizzled after he realizes (again) it’s not going to get anymore serious, and considering how Peter and Carlie have their “oh so cute” lunch date in her office, you just know darn well that when things are going well with Peter getting into a romantic relationship with Carlie this early in a four-part story that the ol “Parker Luck” will rear it’s ugly head to bite Peter squarely in the ass before this tale is through. Wouldn’t surprise me in the least since we know have both Norah and Harry aware that Peter was “having fun” with “some girl” that it will accidentally slip-out and Carlie will learn about this, and then dump Peter’s sorry butt.
@Kevin: Okay, I’ll re-flag that as spam.
Whoa, Dan Slott came back???
@Jonny: Nevermind the fact that I gave very positive reviews to issues 627 and 628 … 😉
File that one under “doesn’t know the facts.”
@George: I can see it! 😆
He’s don’t like the comic, he gives several valid reasons why he doesn’t like the comic that aren’t “Bring back the marriage.” I fail to see whats the problem.
The cover on the right makes Lizard look like a rapper. DJ BigLiz? MC Curt-C? All that’s missing with that arm pose is a giant Flava Flav clock around the neck.
Hi, new reader here. Like the blog. I’ve been a Spidey fan for years. I didn’t ever get super into it until the civil war saga. I subscribed to the book (till One More Day, then I cancelled) and was enjoying the Spider Man / Peter Parker I was familiar with from the 1994 cartoon (sorta). Loyal, committed, honorable, etc. This Peter Parker we see in this awful excuse for a reboot is totally different. I can’t stand reading this character. It’s upsetting to see what has been done to this character. Anyway, just wanted to commend you on this informative blog and to share my sentiments on the current course of Marvel.
Right, and I don’t necessarily blame Bachalo for that because I kinda like his art, but its a thing with BND artists as a whole save for ppl who have drawn the guy before like JRJR and Lee Weeks. It’s so annoying.
@Donovan
I also hate how Peter’s drawn to look like he’s 20. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t buy the book anymore. This whole thing has been a big attempt to de-age the character. If marvel had their way, they’d put him back in highschool again for the movies.
Thanks for getting the review out so fast. Everybody appreciates it!!!
Well, this sounds like more of the same crap. And I agree with Gerard whole-heartedly about not acquiring Bachelo’s art. I’ve never been a fan of him. I’d say i’m not picking this up but i don’t pick up AMS ever. On the other hand, I cannot wait to pick up Spec. Spider-Girl!!!
@Donovan: I spotted that too, but I honestly don’t know which is correct — I haven’t read his most recent appearances.
Aw, to hell with it. I’m editing that into the review …
Yeah, I read this and did not like it either. I think in some shots Connors has two arms. No joke.
I actually liked the art for what it was, but I hate how Peter has suddenly been done to look like a 20 year old.
“Suspenseful. Well-illustrated. Exciting. Character-driven. A great setup for future issues.
All of these statements perfectly describe The Spectacular Spider-Girl #1, which hit stores today. Unfortunately, I’m not reviewing that book. I have to review The Amazing Spider-Man #630 instead.”
BAZINGA!
What Ladyspider said.
@Ladyspider: Spectacular Spider-Girl #1 was very good. I wholly recommend it to everyone.
@Jonny: Not directly, but they spend two solid pages talking about “private time,” “playing around,” “having fun,” etc. If she actually used the word “salami” this would have gotten a 0/5 instead. 😛
Does it actually mention his salami this issue?
I’m glad I didn’t buy this piece of crap and bought Spec Spider-Girl.