Because of overwhelming demand from our readers, I’m proud to announce that this site will soon be renamed The Green-Spider Lantern Space. It is our humble goal to deliver joint coverage of the two greatest characters to ever come out of the graphic medium. To tide you over while our crack team of designers creates the site’s new look to go along with the new theme (wait till ya see the glowing green webbing background we’re using), I’m giving you a little preview by initiating a new series of reviews, starting with the first issue of Geoff Johns’ acclaimed run. Only a fool would choose to start their April any other way.
Because in brightest day, in blackest night, comes great responsibility!
GREEN LANTERN: REBIRTH #1
WRITER: Geoff Johns
ARTIST: Ethan Van Sciver
COLORIST: Moose Baumann
LETTERER: Rob Leigh
PLOT:
The completely awesome Kyle Rayner comes back from bringing Hal Jordan’s body back from the center of the sun! But, wait, Hal visits fellow Lanterns John and Guy at a sporting event! How is this possible? Hal’s soul has merged with the Spectre, God’s spirit of vengeance!
Meanwhile, the Black Hand tries to steal Hal’s old ring from Green Arrow’s place. Hal-Spectre appears and dissolves his hand as punishment. Meanwhile, Guy Gardener’s powers implode, John Stewart starts acting rebellious, and Hal visits his old flame. THE THRILLS NEVER CEASE!!!
THOUGHTS:
This is, hands down, the greatest human accomplishment since Albert Einstein invented sex! Let me tell you a little story. I was about to jump. I was standing on the ledge of the Golden Gate Bridge, and I fully intended to jump. But then it happened. A breeze hit my face, and the sensation of living overcame my body. I thought to myself, right then, this world is beautiful. It then became my life’s goal to walk the Earth and find more beautiful things, and rate them on a scale from one to five with half point increments. But when I came across Green Lantern in my local comic shop, I knew five points out of five was not enough. I knew that I had to give more than that. I had to give a piece of myself.
So I registered as an organ donor and started driving recklessly near Geoff Johns’ house. I hoped that, through some twist of fate, my kidneys could find themselves in his divine body. Blood is too precious to rot in veins such as mine when they could course through the arterial passages of a god. In the end, all I accomplished was forcing a few parents to explain where cats go when cars squish the jelly out of them, but surely it is the thought that counts.
Speaking of counting, let me count the ways Green Lantern saved my life. It cured my chicken pox. It did my taxes. It reunited me with my estranged second-cousin-in-law. It made Kirstin Dunst an attractive person with talent. It proved string theory. It bought me brunch. It helped me overcome my fear of scorpions. It undid my wedgie. It made Muppet Babies real. It answered the age-old philosophical riddle: “if a tree is cut down to print an issue of Spider-Girl, does it make a sound?”
Let it be known, far and wide, that a new Bible has been written.
RATING: B-
REVIEWED BY: CrazyChris
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Awosme!
Hmmm. Y’know, amidst all the crossover frenzy of the 90’s, a Spidey/ GL crossover is one we never saw.
I love Pat’s post about how Chris would give the bible a B-. LOL Comedy gold!
And with this post I officially resign as webmaster. Oh wait, if I turn off the lights where will we all meet up? See you all at http://www.georgeberryman.com
“This is, hands down, the greatest human accomplishment since Albert Einstein invented sex!”
Ans that, my friend is the single most awesome sentence I have ever read!
**high five**
I thought the idea of a April Fool’s joke was to try and trick people?
Hahaha, that was hysterical. I was actually thinking “oh, Kev must be using this as an excuse to put up some GL stuff” until I saw it was by you. That made my day complete, thank you kind sir! Pure Gold.
I LOVED that! Just great! Happy April 1st to you (and everyone), too!
A new bible has been written…and I give it a B-.
LOVE IT!
Dude… NICE.
AHAHAHAHA!
MADE OF WIN!
Good review, I think your rating was entirely justified. I also think it was a bold move to come out with your man crush on Geoff Johns, it gives us courage.
Happy First.
yeah right
I love you! Will you marry me???
Epic. Win.
boooooooooooooooooooo
Yes I hope this is An April fool’s. LOL
lol…..that was great!
Happy 1st of April to you too Chris! 🙂