The year’s biggest (by which I mean longest) Spider-Man story concludes with “New Ways To Die” part 6. Your mother wants you to read the review and leave a comment. You love your mother, don’t you?
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #573
“Weapons of Self Destruction” (Part 6 of “New Ways To Die”)
WRITER: Dan Slott
PENCILS: John Romita Jr.
INKS: Klaus Janson
COLORS: Dean White
LETTERS: Cory Petit
PLOT:
Harry barges into Oscorp for a “why don’t you love me wah wah wah” session with dear old dad, now in Green Goblin regalia, just in time for a joint attack by Spider-Man and Anti-Venom. Anti-Venom takes on the Thunderbolts, leaving Spidey for the Goblin himself. Our hero plows his nemesis’ head through three walls, the last of which leads to a secret laboratory full of human test subjects. Norman obliquely alludes to Harry somehow sharing responsibility for this and sets off the lab’s self-destruct sequence. Spidey chooses saving the innocents over capturing the Goblin, and that heroism prompts Songbird and Radioactive Man to let the authorities assume Spider-Man dead.
Mac Gargan blasts Anti-Venom full of Freak poison with his new scorpion tale. However, the symbiote prevents Mac from finishing its old host by destroying the Scorpion armor. The fight ends in a stalemate.
Later, Harry, Pete and Lily dig through Norman’s wrecked office, looking for a file Harry insists is important. Harry leaves to check a storage area, allowing Lily to plant a kiss on Peter, which distracts him from examining a book that we know from last issue opens Norman’s hidden Goblin gear closet when pulled. Peter honorably pushes Lily away, and Harry returns file in hand with a canister labeled “Prometheus X-90” hidden in his bag.
Ben Urich can’t get the Chinese test subjects to testify against Oscorp because they fear deportation. Meanwhile, the miracle healings associated with Martin Li wear off, and Li himself looks ill. When May tries to comfort him, his eyes turn black and he snaps at her.
Outside, Eddie Brock roams the street, soliloquizing about how he’ll cure the city’s sickness as Anti-Venom.
The issue ends with a backup story by Mark Waid and Patrick Olliffe in which Spider-Man meets the comedian Stephen Colbert. Waid emulates Colbert’s pompous voice reasonably well, but this story lacks the TV show’s satirical wit, providing no laughs for even a Colbert Report fan like myself. Worse, Steve Wacker explains the political acronym DNC in an editor’s note, which I find both patronizing and unnecessary given the abundance of context clues. This page count padder adds no value whatsoever to this overpriced issue.
THOUGHTS:
The best Green Goblin versus Spider-Man matches, from the Death of Gwen Stacy to the more recent “Death in the Family” arc, have one thing in common: these enemies fight a verbal battle just as brutal as the physical contest. Norman Osborn transcends the average Spidey villain because, in addition to pumpkin bombs, he has an entire psychological arsenal to use against Peter that he’s built up over years of ruining the webhead’s life. But now, as I understand it, Norman might remember something like killing Gwen Stacy, and that Spider-Man took it unusually hard, but he can’t make the connection that she was actually Spider-Man’s girlfriend. How can someone like Dan Slott recapture their nasty, personal conflict now that Norman no longer knows how much pain he’s caused Spider-Man in the past?
Apparently, he can’t. Slott tries to make it personal by having them clash over Harry’s allegiance, but he writes Harry as such an unsympathetic brat that one can’t get caught up in the fight for his heart and soul. This issue confirms that Harry knows his father killed one of one of his best friends and countless others, so why did Harry try so hard to impress Norman earlier in the arc? All his grievances against Norman revolve around what Norman did to him. He’s so selfish and unlikable that I don’t care whether or not he goes back into the grave, let alone which side he chooses.
Another disappointment, the Ven-orpion versus Anti-Venom showdown makes no sense. The symbiote never hesitated to kill an ex-host before. In fact, the reason for its hatred for Spider-Man is because Peter was a former host that rejected it. And we know the symbiote has no more love for Brock than Peter because, as we saw in Venom’s second appearance, it will leave the former for the latter given the opportunity.
With no emotional investment, all the bright colors and action are nothing but noise on the page. The noise sure looks pretty, though, thanks to John Romita Junior. The issue at least feels climactic on a visceral level. Spider-Man ramming the Goblin through all those walls and rescuing everyone from the collapsing building succeeds at enthralling, just not as much so as it would had anything actually felt at stake.
RATING:
3 webheads out of 5. So, was “New Ways to Die” the year’s most exciting Spider-Man arc? Would it even mean anything if I said yes?
REVIEWED BY: CrazyChris
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“I guess it would be totally unexpected and “Brand New”, if Harry finds out about Lily and Pete and blames him for stealing his girl!”
you’re totally missing out on the fact that the kiss is Clearly a distraction on Lily’s part. she’s trying to keep peter from looking at something that’s very obvious. now Harry might find out an blame peter but at the moment harry is clearly distracted with the fact that he’s trying to clear his name. I think Slott’s goal isnt to add another Love triangle to the Spidey universe i think its to set up the possiblity of lily holister being the the new goblin, Menace. here’s my reasoning. Anyone who’s been close to an osborn is exposed to a goblin lily dating harry could get access to one of the Many goblin store houses norman keeps even phil urich got his hands on a set of goblin duds its not hard. as new ways to die has mentioned every thing menace has done as been benificial for her father and he’s running for mayor everyone wants to help their family move along in life. her best friend is a cop she has an in [in] in the legal system she can learn some of the inner working not only that but her friend is a CSI type of cop so lilly can learn some of what carlie knows. all of this is pure conjecture lilly might just be a red herring. the sarah Ehert the only thing i can think of when it comes down to that is (this relates to Jackpots association with menace) is that if u mess around with the last name you can spell “three” so i think there might be a third wheel that we have yet to be introduced to. but i may be wrong lol.
i seriously enjoyed new ways to die its been. i wish Slott would just get this book solely and go back to a one per month shcedule i dont really mind if they reinstate pre OMD continuity. i know BND has been lackluster til this point but i blame that more on the incosistancy of have rotating teams. yes OMD was horrible but i thnk BND still has potential and i believe it would see fruition if SLott was the sole writer at the helm. an interchangable art staff doesn’t bother me but if i had the choice i’d keep the book with JR JR, and steve Mcniven. another problem with BND is that each writer is trying to tell their stories within the confines of a 3 book arc. think about this JMS had 6 books to tell his arcs 6 months to tell a story now ur giving multiple guys 3 issues each and only one month and they are trying to cram the same amount of content that you should get out of 6 books making evrything very conviluted and it has to be taxing on the writers. this can be easily resolved if marvel reinstates the regular format of one issue a month and makes Slott the only writer. i doubt this will happen as long as overall sales of BND stay the way they are. but for those consisteantly moan about how BAd they say BND is they should at least take these factors into account.
i’ve talked too long though Again GREAT review CC looking forward to the next.
Chris, great review. Your point about the Spider-Man/Norman fight are dead on. Unfortunately for me it the damage to the continuity and the personal connection that Spider-Man and Green Goblin have lost due to OMD/BND in exactly why it continues to be a mistake.
I also feel that this reincarnated version of Harry is just hard to get a handle on. The one thing I know is that he doesn’t feel like the Harry I remember.
Welcome back Chris!
Very good review I agree on most of the stuff you talked about, but then again I enjoyed the GG fight with spidey.
All in all great review
welcome back Chris!
I guess it would be totally unexpected and “Brand New”, if Harry finds out about Lily and Pete and blames him for stealing his girl!
Have to say that I really enjoyed the whole arc too, especially Norman’s beatdown! I found it very refreshing to have Spidey win a complete victory over him, as opposed to the usual thrashing he gets from Gobby.
I ENJOYED THE THRASHING OF NORMAN OSBORN! im msick of norman usually doing the thrashing it seems in most stories i read norman usually beats pete to a pulp i like seeing the roe reversal (havent seen it since milla’s run on Marvel Knights) new ways to die was an enjoyable read. my only real issue is it was extremely hard to find where i live becuase they would sell out before noon i actually had to wake up so early just to get to the comic shop in time. I have to say it was refreshing to have one of the greatest spider-man artist come back to the chracter ( and in my eyes there are only 4 ditko, romita sr, romita jr, and mark bagley TODD MACFARLANE WAS SO OVERATED!!!!!!!! I HATE EVRYTHING ABOUT HIS ART EXCEPT HIS WEBS!! sorry BD but i hope he never comes back to spidey) Having romita back on the book made it feel like a spidey book again. since he left the book i’ve always felt the book was lacking even though Deodato work which followed immediatly afterwards was like watching works of art. but its just nice to see his spider-man again. as for slott and his writing i enjoy his work but i admit this probably would have worked better if he fleshed some things out more lik peter’s goblin fight, venom V anti-venom. and goblin v goblin, other things i would have toned down. but all the major conflicts seemed kinda short. it was still an overall enjoyable read im not 100% on the same page as CC but it was still a great review nonetheless.
So is the only reason they cancelled Spider-girl just taking away other options?
From the way you tell this, it really feels like “New Ways to Die” was a total disappointment. Sigh…
Yes, I do love my mother 😉
So Harry’s girl puts the moves on Peter? That sounds pretty “Brand New” to me! Keep those original ideas coming!!!!!