Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #556 Review

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #556
TITLE: “The Last Nameless Day”
WRITER: Zeb Wells
PENCILS: Chris Bachalo
INKS: Tim Townsend
COLORS: Antonio Fabela & Chris Bachalo

PLOT:

The issue begins with a hilarious scene of Jonah in the hospital and then shifts to the police station, where Dr. Rabin, the mathematician Spidey rescued last ish, explains that the Mayan extremists want to kill him because they think he’s used a mathematical code to commune with their gods.

Spider-Man, meanwhile, trudges through the snow because his web fluid froze (last month the fluid was too thick, and now it’s too cold—is this Spider-Man or Goldilocks?). He finds a bum wearing the jacket he discarded earlier. He takes the coat back but becomes very ashamed and returns it, opting instead to pack his costume with newspaper. Nothing in a comic book has ever looked funnier than this.

Spidey’s puffy appearance doesn’t last long, because a Mayan god appears and literally beats the stuffing out of him. The deity asks Spider-Man if he is a priest, and our hero has to say yes to end the fight.

Once the deity leaves, our hero frees Rabin’s math team from the back of a truck, only to learn something shocking from the only surviving member. Dr. Rabin himself, and not the Mayans, imprisoned them.

Back at the station, Carlie walks in on Rabin slashing the Mayans in the holding cell…

THOUGHTS:

…At least I think that was Rabin on the last page, but who can tell when his beard changes length every page? If I had to choose one qualm with this issue, I’d say Chris Bachalo draws a few unclear panels. Besides that, consider me among the “Bachalo converts.” His abstract style actually serves as an asset for representing blizzard-ridden New York ’s isolated atmosphere. And I’ll never forget the priceless image of puffy Spider-Man taking on the Mayan god, who is probably one of the most visually terrifying villains Spider-Man has ever faced.

Spidey’s interaction with Vern, the homeless man, stands out as a memorable highlight. Besides being funny (paranoid hobos are always good for a chuckle), Spider-Man taking his jacket back and his subsequent horror at himself for doing so reminded me why I love this character. The past three writers have buried us in dead horses emphasizing Peter Parker’s human faults, but Zeb Wells does it far more effectively by remembering there’s an honest-to-goodness hero under all that frail humanity.

Furthermore, I hope future writers use this issue as a textbook on how to write Spider-Man’s humor. Take note, it has more to do with the down-to-Earth way Spidey reacts to every situation than how many corny wisecracks he can rattle off in a page. I know I said Guggenheim nails Spider-Man’s voice, but Wells perfects it.

Also, it seems like a love triangle between Peter, Carlie, and Vin Gonzales is forming. It’ll be a long time before I can care about Peter’s inevitably doomed romantic relationships again, but I’m noting this development because of how much it surprised me. And please add Vin to the growing list of characters only Wells has managed to make likable.

Perhaps ironically, this arc resembles something Straczynski might have written in the early part of his run. It has supernatural enemies, a stronger focus on Spider-Man than on Peter Parker, and a barely-present supporting cast. For all the effort Marvel put into overhauling Spider-Man, the best story so far has relied on those changes the least.

FAVORITE QUOTE:

“Global warming my Irish butt!”

RATING:

4.5 webheads out of 5. I don’t remember when an issue of ASM entertained me this much, but I’d definitely count the time since then in years.

REVIEWED BY: CrazyChris