Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #545 Review

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #545
TITLE: “One More Day” Part 4
STORY: J. Michael Straczynski & Joe Quesada
PENCILER: Joe Quesada
INKERS: Danny Miki & Joe Quesada
COLORISTS: Richard Isanove with Dean White

NOTE: The first 3 parts of “One More Day” can be found in The Amazing Spider-Man #544, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24, and The Sensational Spider-Man #41.

PLOT:

May flatlines and our heroes consider Mephisto’s offer. Mary Jane broaches rationality, suggesting that it might simply be May’s time to pass, but Pete whimpers about his guilt. They spend their last day huddled together on a motel floor in the dark.

Mephisto reappears and, after some deliberation, they agree to his terms. The Devil will heal May, sweeten the deal by returning Spider-Man’s secret identity, and rewrite history so that Peter and MJ never married. Mephisto explains that depriving God of a love so pure will be his ultimate victory. Furthermore, he torments the Parkers by showing them their future daughter, who will never come to exist because of this pact (the daughter Peter and MJ already had isn’t mentioned, but let’s not pick nits).

MJ secretly offers Mephisto some unknown thing in exchange for Peter’s happiness. She tells her husband that they were meant to be together and that they will find each other again. The world fades to black.

Peter Parker awakes in Aunt May’s Forest Hills residence with no recollection of anything that has happened. He is single, May is healthy, and he has mechanical web shooters instead of goopy wrist anuses. MJ is still around, but she and Peter only dated, never married.

Also, Harry Osborne is alive. He introduces Peter to his girlfriend, Lily Hollister, and her best friend, Carlie Cooper. Oh dear Lord.

THOUGHTS:

In my naively optimistic Sensational #41 review, I wrote that I didn’t think editor/artist/co-plotter Joe Quesada was stupid enough to dissolve Spider-Man’s marriage “in such a transparently forced way”. I hate being wrong, but I’ll happily eat crow if it tastes better than the rank, sewage-smeared pages of “One More Day”.

Let’s reiterate to eliminate confusion: the reality of Spider-Man’s world has been magically altered so that events depicted over at least twenty years of comic books have no longer happened, or at least not the way you and I remember reading them. As someone who has spent his entire life invested imaginatively, emotionally, and financially in this character, I take that as a personal insult. I can’t ascertain how much has actually been deleted yet, but an alive, unmarried Harry Osborne already violates several cherished stories. This also erases the past couple of years, which I’ve enjoyed under the assumption that the story wouldn’t culminate in some deus ex machina copout.

Spider-Man’s marital status never struck me an important aspect of the character. It doesn’t warrant the controversy or the passions raised by either side of the debate. Married or single, he’s still Peter Parker: Spider-Man. He’s still going to put on the mask and fight crime, and he’s still going to deal with human problems. The fault with “One More Day” isn’t its result, but how Quesada and his flunkies have discarded logic to get there.

I won’t evaluate the new status quo just yet, but I’ll have a hard time caring about it now that the precedent for quick magical fixes has been set. Quesada admitted to CBR that Spider-Man only revealed his identity because editorial knew that a cosmic reset was around the corner. That’s an unforgivable cheat against the fans, and it obliterates the illusion that actions have consequences. That damages the book’s integrity infinitely more than Spider-Man’s marriage ever did. It damages the integrity of the entire medium!

The new Peter has undergone a severe character regression. He looks, talks, and acts at least five years younger, and he’s written with a voice void of the maturity he’s gained over his superheroic career. The character we have watched form over decades has been suddenly replaced.

Marvel gave our Spider-Man the worst possible sendoff. Every signal has painted Mephisto’s offer as something selfish, unnatural, and contrary to May’s wishes (remember the séance from Sensational #39?), so the story ends on a note of triumphant evil. Spider-Man should not have accepted either option. A real hero would go out fighting, but our hero leaves the stage impotent and beaten, less relatable and more pitiful.

RATING:

0 out of 5. What an inauspicious end to J. Michael Straczynski’s 7-year tenure! I grew up along side his run, and I will always consider him my Spider-Man writer. But this is atrocious. Our hero isn’t merely destroyed; he’s reduced to a despicable, sniveling child and then destroyed. I know JMS only squeezed this nugget out under editorial mandate, but that excuse didn’t work at Nuremberg and it won’t fly here.

The obvious solution is to vote with our dollars, and many in fandom are doing just that. But, God help me, I find my curiosity sparked. I’m so mentally and emotionally exhausted by “One More Day” that I just don’t have it in me to fight it any more. All I want are good Spider-Man stories.

Besides, these reviews are too damn fun to write.

REVIEWED BY: CrazyChris