Civil War Prose Novel, or How CrazyChris Died Laughing

[CrazyChris]

Okay, so there's a Civil War prose novel coming out. A preview chapter from Spider-Man's point of view has been released. You can read it here:

http://i.annihil.us/u/prod/marvel/i/pdf ... artTwo.pdf

Here's the twist: this novel takes place in post-OMD continuity, so this is a version of Civil War in which Spider-Man was never married and (based on the preview chapter) apparently not even in a serious relationship. Also, the Stamford rescue mission is Spider-Man's first Avengers mission according to this book.

The whole chapter I read is like hilariously awful fan fiction. The writing is just that awful. But here is the part that actually almost made me swallow my own teeth:

Peter crawled back up to ground level, to scattered applause from the rescue workers. And two other figures, too: Tigra, the catlike were- woman, and Luke Cage, Power Man.

Tigra reached out her arms and half-hugged, half-hoisted Spider- Man up out of the building. Her furry body was warm and muscular; her bikini costume barely covered her at all. She held Spidey close, just a little too long.

“Welcome to the Avengers.” Tigra smiled, ran flirty eyes down Spider- Man’s thin frame. “‘Bout time we got some hot guys in this group.”

I DEMAND a dramatic reading on the podcast.

Another highlight:

Sue grimaced, turned toward the FF’s plane. “I’ll follow him, make
sure he’s okay. You can catch a ride home?”

“Sure,” Reed replied. Their eyes met for a moment in profound,
silent understanding.

Spider-Man found himself wondering: Could I ever be that close to a woman?

[BD]

Where did you read that it is post OMD?

[CrazyChris]

http://marvel.com/news/story/18763/firs ... rose_novel

[Donomark]

Holy crap, THIS IS written like a fan fic. My God...who wrote this?

[CrazyChris]

Stuart Moore. According to wikipedia he's written a lot of comics but nothing really stands out. He's also written a novel called "American Meat."

[Wombat 909]

That's exactly what I said when I first read the preview, that it reads just like fan-fic. I'm tempted to pick up the book just for hilarity's sake.

[Berserkfury819]

Make George Berryman read it and review it for the show.

[gregxb]

[Aziz]

The second highlight confirms it's BND

The whole chapter I read is like hilariously awful fan fiction.

Holy crap, THIS IS written like a fan fic. My God...who wrote this?

That's exactly what I said when I first read the preview, that it reads just like fan-fic. I'm tempted to pick up the book just for hilarity's sake.

So far three agree it reads like fan fiction
I didn't bother going through it

Make George Berryman read it and review it for the show.

I support this choice

[FSUSpiderFan]

Wasn't Spidey in the New Avengers for quiet a while before the Stamford event? Why would that change because of OMD?

[DarkKnightJared]

Wasn't Spidey in the New Avengers for quiet a while before the Stamford event? Why would that change because of OMD?

Because it's a novel for people who don't want to read the comic and had to add some recognizable characters than the New Warriors?

But yeah, that book sounds AWFUL. It's almost an accomplishment, to make something that was already a piece of crap be even worse.

[Enigma_2099]

Hey, Chris... how's the texture of the pages? Rough, coarse, or soft? Does it feel good against the skin?


... you ALL know where I'm going with this...

[CrazyChris]

Wasn't Spidey in the New Avengers for quiet a while before the Stamford event? Why would that change because of OMD?

Spider-Man had been in the New Avengers for about a year and a half real world time when CW started. My guess is they wanted to make Spider-Man a newcomer so that he can serve as a surrogate for the audience for the purpose of exposition. Every time something needs to be explained to Spidey, it gets explained to the audience, too. Spider-Man's a natural choice for this role because he's a recognizable character to a mass audience, but it doesn't work if he already knows everything. So I don't really think its that bad of idea for a stand-alone novel.

[FSUSpiderFan]

Wasn't Spidey in the New Avengers for quiet a while before the Stamford event? Why would that change because of OMD?

Spider-Man had been in the New Avengers for about a year and a half real world time when CW started. My guess is they wanted to make Spider-Man a newcomer so that he can serve as a surrogate for the audience for the purpose of exposition. Every time something needs to be explained to Spidey, it gets explained to the audience, too. Spider-Man's a natural choice for this role because he's a recognizable character to a mass audience, but it doesn't work if he already knows everything. So I don't really think its that bad of idea for a stand-alone novel.

Like Rogue and Wolverine in the first X-Men movie. I thought that may be why, better than some OMD BS reason.