Friendly Fire Fight Club #62 - 'War of the WARRIORS!'

[George Berryman]

"Alright, gather 'round, rookies. Bruce Lee is takin' a siesta so's that I, th' Ever Lovin' Blue Eyed Thing, can step in for an event that I think we can all agree I was born for! So don't worry cause Ol' Unca Benjie's here ta show yaz all how to get yer dainty mitts on someone n' twist 'em like a pretzel! Brawlapalooza is officially on like Donkey Kong!"



"This week CrazyChris n' Hambone both decided one another needed a good faste-smashin' and decided to throw down. Hambone chose, as his champion, a Master of th' Universe and th' main face behind a successful 80's cartoon n' toy franchise. Oh - and he's also thrown down with Kal-El before, so respect. Please welcome, Prince Adam o' Eternia... HE-MAN!"



"In response, CrazyChris picked the original Amazon princess who has put more hurt on fools what don't know th' time than most male heroes out there! Say "How-dee-doo!" to Princess Diana... WONDER WOMAN!"



"Now that we know who is doin' th' fightin' George Berryman tells me that he's picked Dagobah as tonight's fight venue."



"It's th' remote swamp planet Jedi Master Yoda retired to after th' Jedi Purge and it's crawlin' with every form o' life ya can conceive of - big and small. Have fun fightin' someone while tryin' not to get swallowed whole!

"Now as a side gag for Brawlapalooza and Brawlapalooza alone, George is allowin' us ta give prizes away to th' winners. And by winners I mean the combatants, not the Fight Clubbers that pick 'em. Cause we're on a pretty tight budget here! So th' champions ya'll pick will get some goodies while you Fight Clubbers get paid in GLORY. And here to tell us what Wonder Woman and He-Man are fightin' for this week, here's POWER GIRL!"

"Thanks Benjie! Tonight He-Man and Wonder Woman are fighting for a lifetime supply of Uncle Norman's Crazy Corn!"



"It's the microwave popcorn that's taking the nation by storm. Sure, the mogul behind it is a crazy bastard rotting in jail but hey - that doesn't mean the man don't know his corn! Please pass the crazy!"

Brought to you by OsCorp... Better Living Through Science!



"Yeah I ain't touchin' the stuff. I'm pretty sure there's steroids in that damn Goblin Formula of Osborn's and the Ever Lovin' Blue Eyed Thing doesn't want his tic-tacs shrinkin'.

"So that's th' card tonight! A warrior born, favored by the Gods, against a Prince of Power! Who grabs th' headlines n' who gets voted off th' island? That's for you ta decide! Until then, come n' tell me how bad ya wanna be a boxer..."

[George Berryman]

Also as a reminder, per Brawlapalooza event guidelines both combatants are forbidden to use edged weaponry. Wonder Woman can still use her tiara but only as a blunt force object. He-Man can still wield his sword but can only strike with the flat of the blade.

[Hambone]

This is why I think He-man should win:

He-Man's great strength:
He-Man once tossed a spire the size of a mountain out of the stratosphere and into the sun!

That is some crazy Sentry-level power, only without the emo attitude! He is at least as strong as Wonder Woman if not possibly stronger. He is after all, the "Most Powerful Man in the Universe!" He can also match the Amazon in feats of speed and agility, (He was quick enough to create a powerful whirlwind with his arms, so under Brawlapoolza rules I would put him at whatever is the maximum.) and is incredibly resilient as well. He-man possesses all the great strength and fortitude of his ancestor, King Greyskull, a man who single-handedly drove back the entire army of the wizard Hordak. How powerful was Hordak? He once just frowned at someone and the guy exploded...



Remember: Wonder Woman under normal circumstances has the ability to fly, and has incorporated this power into her fighting style. Removing that ability under Brawlapalooza rules will throw her off her game. In the heat of the battle, this could prove to be her undoing. (How many time's has a villain gotten the upper hand on Spider-Man due to forgetting to refill his web fluid?) A character that is used to making as much use of the z-axis, as well as x and y will suddenly be at a distinct handicap. He-Man on the other hand, will be completely at home under the current Brawlapalooza rules.

Now to dispell some myths:

"He-Man will hold back, won't hit a woman, will underestimate Wondy because she's a woman, etc." He-Man in his Prince Adam guise regularly spared with Teela, the warrior woman and Captain of King Randor's guard since childhood. He-Man has also battled Evil-Lyn and even attempted to cut her down with his power sword in the episode "Siren's Song". (You can say that He-Man somehow knew Evil-Lyn would leap out of the way, but ask yourself, why would he have such confidence in his enemies abilities, considering that he bests them in battle at least 99.9% of the time?)



He-Man and his fellow heroes of Eternia had no problem taking things to the limit if need be, He-Man himself cleaved the serpent god Serpos skull in two before dispatching it, and Zodak even forced the villain King Hiss to eat his own head!



"Well, Wonder Woman comes from an island of Amazonian warriors; she must be better trained, right?" Ask yourself this, how many times has Paradise Island been completely razed? 5? 6? 8 times? Do we have to take off our socks and start counting on our toes yet? For a race of super powerful woman warriors, they sure end up on the brink of extinction a lot! The fact that Themyscira is constantly reduced to rubble, leads me to believe there is something fundamentally wrong at the core of their training. On the other hand, the kingdom of Eternia and its denizens, even while living under the constant threat of Skeletor and King Hiss, have never suffered as great of losses, nor on such a consistent basis.
VOTE HE-MAN!

[FSUSpiderFan]

The real question is...who will be more motivated to get that yummy Oscorn?

[Berserkfury819]

This is tough. Honestly I like Wonder Woman a bit more, but I think He-Man has the advantage here. I'll let Chris make his case for Wonder Woman before casting my vote. He'll really have to convince me though, I'm strongly leaning towards He-Man here.

[CrazyChris]

I'm at a disadvantage here because I'm in the middle of finals right now. Perhaps one of you who voted for Wonder Woman can share your reasoning until I get around to rebutting Hambone in a day or so?

[Thrawn]

This is a tough one. I've actually been thinking about and analyzing this ever since Crazy and Hambone announced their champions days ago. I love both characters, and I admit I'm completely biased towards He-Man. These characters are so evenly matched that it was exceedingly difficult for me to choose.

I almost flipped a coin but in the end I did vote for He-Man. For me it finally came down to two key factors--Wonder Woman can't fly in this match and this is a brawl. And in a brawl size and strength are often the two most important deciding factors. He-Man is bigger and stronger than Wonder Woman. I do believe she has the edge in hand to hand skill, but He-Man is also a master of combat. Whatever advantage she does have in skill isn't going to be significant enough to overcome his level of hand to hand skill combined with his superior strength in my opinion.

/But neither one of them could take Superman or the Hulk.

[FSUSpiderFan]

WW does have her lasso. That might give her an edge...

[Donomark]

Diana's got more nuts than Prince Adam.

[Hambone]

WW does have her lasso. That might give her an edge...

It probably would. However, since this is a Brawlapalooza match, Diana doesn't get to use it. It's just muscles vs. muscles! Which is why I thought He-Man would be such a good contender for this particular venue!

There are guidelines on weapons. For Brawlapalooza!, only blunt weapons are allowed. Donatello and Michelangelo? Yep! Leonardo and Raphael? Not so much! And if those weapons have powers aside from hitting people those powers are out. Thor could use his hammer to hit, for example, but he couldn't use it with the full compliment of his other powers like creating lightning or controlling the weather. But bashing someone in the face with his Uru hammer? Can do! Wonder Woman? Yeah, she's in. But no magic lasso. Wrecker? Absorbing Man? They would be on the menu, too, with their weapons; Absorbing Man's wrecking ball would maintain its material transformation same as Crusher Creel does, since he uses it to hit people. Lobo? You betcha, but no guns.

[Thrawn]

Diana's got more nuts than Prince Adam.

Actually she doesn't. And I mean that both ways.

[AmFan15]

I'm gonna have to check out this newer version of He-Man before voting. Believe it or not, I didn't even know there WAS a new MOTU cartoon before now!
I'll get back to this one later!

[Thrawn]

I'm gonna have to check out this newer version of He-Man before voting. Believe it or not, I didn't even know there WAS a new MOTU cartoon before now!
I'll get back to this one later!

/

Here:

[SaviorSpyder CJ]

Diana for sure. She's wrestled with far stronger opponents than HM (Supes and J'onn J'onzz to be precise) and came out on top, or survived. Besides, she is skilled in multiple forms of hand-to-hand combat (Including Judo, which turns one's strength against them.) So I'll give this one to her.

[Thrawn]

She's wrestled with far stronger opponents than HM (Supes and J'onn J'onzz to be precise) and came out on top, or survived.

The counter to this is that He-Man has survived battles with opponents superior to her and beaten and survived them all. Wonder Woman has been defeated soundly by the likes of Superman on more than one occasion from what I recall. And in this fight she can't fly or use her lasso.

Besides, she is skilled in multiple forms of hand-to-hand combat (Including Judo, which turns one's strength against them.)

That's flawed logic. Batman is at least as skilled as she is, and he can't defeat her because she's too strong. Same situation here. As far as the Judo point goes, He-Man has fought Zodak to a draw, and he actually has the magical ability to turn an opponent's strength's against them. The ability of a Judo expert is going to be largely dependent on the opponent's combat knowledge. He-Man knows how to fight. You think she's going to beat him with a wrist lock?