Friendly Fire #43 - 'It's Raining AGENTS!'

[George Berryman]

"Hello darlings! It's me, the Pop Pumpkin Princess, First Lady of Snark and the Mistress of the Dark - Elvira!"

"Bruce Lee, who is surprisingly active on here for being a dead guy, is taking the next two weeks off so that I, Elvira, can host Halloween Havoc! here on the Friendly Fire Fight Club. Don't applaud, my little crypt misfits... just throw money, honey!

"A few days back noctis7493 threw out a blanket challenge to damn near anyone. And one of Fight Club's resident bad-asses, CrazyChris, accepted.

"As his champion CrazyChris (and what's so crazy about him anyway?) chose the alien hunting Agent K from the Men In Black films!"



"After consideration, and consulting a family member who we're hoping at least got paid, noctis7493 chose Agent Six from the new-ish cartoon Generator Rex - who also happens to fight... alien things? Something. Either way he deals with creepy stuff."



"So where do agents go for hot agent on agent action? Err... of the violent variety, that is? Where else but Prague in the Czech Republic, according to George "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" Berryman."



"It's one of the oldest cities on the planet and it's had people living in the area since the Paleolithic. Many of its buildings date back several hundred years and tourists are drawn to attractions like the Orloj Astronomical Clock, made back in the 1400's, and the Church of Our Lady before Týn, pictured above, which is a massive Gothic cathedral that's even older than the clock.

"Hah! So I guess that makes it... older than time? That's why they pay me the big bucks, darlings! Anyway, with its centuries upon centuries of history Prague is often regarded as one of the most haunted cities in the entire world.

"It's an Agents Only Fight Club tonight! Which one gets the glory and which one's the gimp? Vote now! Hit it, Ghoultown!"

[FSUSpiderFan]

I'm more familiar with K and he has more weapons so I am inclined to vote for him. I'll wait and see though...

[noctis7493]

Yes, K has more guns than Six (hell, Six doesn't have a gun period) but he also has something more than Six that will guarantee his defeat: OLD AGE!!!
Common, even K himself knows that he's already too old for the business. Sure, his plugs can still make some sparks but he can't possibly keep up with an agent who is probably a more than a quarter of his age.

But what about his car, you may ask. It has rockets, you might say. Well, like what Agent J said, it is a Ford PoS (Piece of S#!+). Unless someone reimagines the car as having the same abilities as the Batmobile and drive up the sides of buildings and jump from rooftop to rooftop, it is limited to the streets. Agent Six with his Hover Board, on the other hand, has much greater maneuverability in, up, and around the city of Prague. Plus, for all we know, his Ford PoS is just a regular car with alien tech modifications. If Agent Six's katanas can cut through giant boulder-size pieces of buildings (i.e. concrete and steel) cleanly in half, he should be able to slice through that car like a piece of cake.

As for K's weapons, I'm only going to focus on the guns used in the movies since those are the ones that I'm pretty familiar with. All of the main MiB weapons used in the movie are pulse-type blasters. If my memory serves me right, neither the Deatomizers or even the Noisy Cricket have auto-rapid-fire capabilities. Instead, shots are fired much like regular non-automatic guns--fire, recharge, fire, recharge. This leaves plenty of time for Agent Six to avoid the blasts, run in, and take K down. And, much like his car, for all we know, K's guns are all metallic. Agent Six's katana, when combined, forms a very powerful magnet that resembles a tuning fork. He should be able to either pull K's guns and take them or disable the guns by messing with it electronics.

And speaking of Agent Six's katanas, swordsmanship is Six's special ability. Like a Jedi, Six would step into battle either outnumbered or overpowered, but using only his katana, he is still able to take down enemy after enemy. In addition, Six's skills are clearly seen in the pilot episode, "The Day That Everything Changed," where, after jumping out of a carrier, Six is able to unsheathe his swords, perform a series of acrobatic feats cutting and moving boulder-sized chunks of debris in mid-air, and jump from each of them so that they wouldn't fall onto the civilians all before he touches the ground.

Moreover, I hope I'm not hitting under the belt by doing this but:

On the surface Six, to me, seems to be mismatched against Agent K. He appears to have Anime-level agility, multiple forms of martial arts and swords that make a powerful magnet.

Yeah, even George thinks K is in over his head here against Six.

And lastly, I'd like to boil down this fight to this:

VOTE FOR AGENT SIX

[George Berryman]

Moreover, I hope I'm not hitting under the belt by doing this but:

On the surface Six, to me, seems to be mismatched against Agent K. He appears to have Anime-level agility, multiple forms of martial arts and swords that make a powerful magnet.

Yeah, even George thinks K is in over his head here against Six.

History is replete with heroes "in over their head" who still came out on top. And I went with K.

[CrazyChris]

Old age means experience. K has been around the block, enforcing the law against the creatures who have even more of a strength and speed advantage than Six would. Clear headed battle tactics, a quick draw, a hefty set of balls, and weapons that can blow holes in space craft or reduce giant beasts to goo have seen him through before, and they'll see him through here.

And then there's the magnets. Like you said, for all we know, K's weapons are metallic. But then again, for all we know they are made out of a non-magnetic material. The Men In Black deal with races possessed of technology capable of eradicating the earth. If something as basic and elemental as f'n magnets were that big of a problem for them, they wouldn't have kept the Earth intact for very long. We at least know that the MiB technology is generations ahead of mainstream Earth's, so I think K can handle some magnetism, even if he has to hold on real tight and pull the trigger while he's flying at Six. This is the guy who let himself get swallowed to get his gun back, and then blew the fiend apart from the inside. Attempting to disarm K is the functional equivalent of a suicide letter. And if Six tries to magnetize K's car? Congratulations, he has a rocket powered car hurtling toward him. See ya at the pearly gates, Six.

Then there's the neuralyzer. I don't care how agile you are, you can't outrun a flash of light that steals your memories. Even if Six somehow magically knew what the device is capable of, good luck trying to fight agent K without looking at him!

[George Berryman]

This is the guy who let himself get swallowed to get his gun back, and then blew the fiend apart from the inside. Attempting to disarm K is the functional equivalent of a suicide letter.

This is what it kept coming back to for me. A man who will let himself get swallowed to win... that's a damn near unbeatable man.

[butters911]

Everyone knows Agent Orange could beat them both

[AmFan15]

I was already leaning toward K, because I know him and what he's capable of...and CrazyChris just pushed me over the edge.

Special K, all the way!

[Hambone]

Even though I preferred Frank the Pug as J's partner, I still gotta go with Agent K over Agent 6.

[Spider-Dad]

A dude with a couple of swords against an agent with a Neurolyzer and weapons that destroy alien spacecraft? Old or not, Agent K would not even have to get out of his lazy boy for this one...

[CrazyChris]

You can't really ask for a better result considering that in Friendly Fire Fights each combatant is all but guaranteed the vote of the poster who chose it. Thanks everyone!

[FSUSpiderFan]

Wow, that is lopsided!

[George Berryman]

"I'm back for the wrap up! And I'm blanking now on something clever to follow that up with.

"With 93% CrazyChris not only claims his fourth win but he also makes Friendly Fire Fight Club history, taking the highest win percentage against an opponent ever, beating BertoneBeatle's previous record of 83% by 10 points! noctis7493 falls back to regroup and plot his revenge - or set his sights on his next opponent.

"So congratulations to CrazyChris for making Friendly Fire Fight Club history! Finally, someone who knows how to score better than me!

"See you next time, Fright Fight Fans!"

[noctis7493]

*whistles* Now that is one epic fail on my part. This week's been real busy for me so I wasn't able to keep track or follow up on this fight, but I would probably have lost regardless. I guess I should think twice before using a generally unknown and obscure character in a Fight Club match. Oh well, there's always next time.

[FSUSpiderFan]

I was surprised by the outcome. I thought you would have got a few more votes.