And now, from the Spidey Friday Night Fights Studio, here's your hostess - "JENNIFER "SHE-HULK" WALTERS!"
"Hey hey hey, Crawl Spacers! It's me, the Gammazon Who Brings It On, the Lime Green Litigator, the Jade Giantess, the Sensational She-Hulk! Who loves you and who do you love?!
"Each and every Tuesday Marvel Fight Club (inspired by Funnykay) will bring you a completely random fight. The combatants are chosen randomly, as is the location. Anything and everything can and will happen here. The fights are going to range from the jaw-droppingly astonishing to the eye-rolling absurd. And you, the Crawl Spacers at home, will have the final say.
"The voting will last for three days and then the fight will be briefly mentioned with commentary at the end of the following Spidey Friday Night Fight on the Crawl Space Main Page.
"Last week's Marvel Fight Club gave us our most titanic, most spine-tingling, most thrilling match yet. Fin Fang Foom wrecked Ultron - and most of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania - with a come-from-behind win. 52% of you Crawl Spacers picked Finny, 48% of you backed Ultron. Either way it was our closest match-up yet and it had a fantastic, drama-packed finish as the votes came down to the wire.
"So what will tonight bring? Startled gasps or bored yawns? Let's turn to the FightClub-A-Tron 3000 to find out who we're watching this week!"
WHHRRR! WHHRRR! ZZZTT! ZZZTT!
DING!
"Our first random combatant tonight hails from Asgard - the second Asgardian we've seen so far in Marvel Fight Club. She's tall, lean and awful mean when she's crossed - that's probably why Thor loves her so much! Making her way down now from the Bifröst rainbow bridge say hello to the Asgardian swordswoman Sif!"
"Facing Sif tonight is a cute lil' bundle of Asian hate made with sugar, spice and adamantium. She hates Wolverine's guts and aims to kill him and anyone who has ever said anything nice about him, and their families. She's been redefining 'myopic' as a personality trait for quite some time and she's probably excited to be here cause it means she gets to scream and try to kill stuff. Give a warm Crawl Space welcome to Lady Deathstrike!"
"Quick Fun Fact: Though entirely selected at random our combatants and location are connected. Both Sif and Lady Deathstrike appeared in the 'Hulk Vs.' direct-to-video cartoons from Marvel while Lady Deathstrike also appeared in the 'X2' film fighting Wolverine at tonight's random location, the Alkali Lake. Weird, huh?
"Our final random factor is our location. There are over 240 possible fight locations for the FightClub-A-Tron 3000 to randomly choose from and they vary from locations unique and specific to the Marvel Universe all the way to real world spots of interest that would also exist in the Marvel Universe.
"Here to give us the low down on our fight venue is one of the smartest beings alive, via satellite from Wundagore Mountain in Transia, please welcome the High Evolutionary!"
"Hello, Jennifer. Hello, Crawl Space patrons. The FightClub-A-Tron 3000 has randomly selected the Alkali Lake in Canada as tonight's fight venue."
"The Alkali Lake from the X-Men film 'X2' served as the base of operations for Col. William Stryker's Weapon X labratory. Built underneath the lake itself, the base also had a working version of Professor Charles Xavier's Cerebro computer. The photo is a picture of Barrier Lake in Alberta, Canada which served as Alkali Lake in the film. Back to you, Jennifer."
"Thanks, High E! That's a pretty scene. With all the impending carnage sure to come tonight it begs us to ask this question: Won't somebody please think of the trees?! Maybe we should call this fight off to save Alkali Lake from an invasion of mourning hippies...
"Well the fans demanded it, and we delivered. Completely random fight locations.
"So we've got a girl fight tonight, swords vs. claws style with an Asgardian vs. Cyborg flavor! Who wins? Who loses? That's for you to decide!
"For George Berryman, High E and all the Marvel Fight Club & Spidey Friday Night Fights crew this is Jennifer Walters, signing off and saying "RAWR!" Hit me with that theme song, Herb Alpert!"
