"Observe, mortals! It is I, Uatu - he who men do call the WATCHER! The hour of conflict is at hand!"
"I have dispatched Shang Chi to attend to an urgent matter, and I will be your guide through this Friendly Fire Fight Club specialty event. Though I am bound to not interfere in mankind's triumphs and tragedies I am still compelled to alert you to a cataclysm that affects us all! The Marvel Universe is colliding - violently - with the Star Wars Universe. While many heroes and villains from each realm are searching for a way to stop this doom they are also drawn into conflict. Through these skirmishes they must each find the answers to restore stability to their realities while simultaneously facing off against one another."
"As the peril rages the doom facing two universes is spreading out across all of the fictional multiverse! And in our fifth match, puppet master FSUSpiderFan has challenged Thrawn, who has accepted and thirsts to make cosmic mischief. As his champion, FSUSpiderFan has selected a small enemy in large numbers known for toppling an empire... a village of EWOKS!"
"In retaliation, Thrawn has chosen one of fantasy fiction's most famous warriors - specifically as he was represented in Marvel's universe... CONAN the BARBARIAN!"
"The omnipotent entity referred to by your reality as 'the Commissioner' has decreed that these two shall face one another in a jungle hell full of cannibal trolls, pirates, dinosaur predators, deadly tigers - and worse! STRANGLETHORN VALE!"
"Stranglethorn Vale is located south of Duskwood on the southern part of the continent of Azeroth in the World of Warcraft game setting. Stranglethorn Vale holds great reward for those who survive and the promise of being forgotten to time as bleached bones for those without the skill to make it through."
"Now! The very HEAVENS await your judgments! You, the Fight Clubber, are now both savior and executioner! CHOOSE!"
Le'ts start this thread off right. No Conan the Barbarian thread is complete without Basil Poledouris' masterful theme:
I love Ewoks and they're quite formidable; which is why I didn't take this match lightly. That being said, Conan takes a village of Ewoks after a long fought bloody battle.
Ewoks are what Conan does. If it lives, breathes, and fights, Conan kills it.
The Ewoks were able to take on and defeat armed stormtroopers, but they were in an environment they were familiar with and the Stormtroopers were not properly equipped for. That's not to say that's the only reason the Ewoks won, but Conan has fought in many jungle environments. He knows how to deal with jungle natives armed with spears, swords, sling shots, and axes.
This is speculation, but I agree with it. Ewoks are tougher than the average human:
Ewok weapons are well-suited to forest combat against the Empire. Sometime around the 90-minute mark you can actually see an arrow (non-CG'd, practical effect) penetrate clear through the back of a Stormtrooper's armor. The weapons penetrate armor. Their bolos use stones weighing at least 2 pounds and they throw them as easily as a midget in a fursuit would throw a foam prop. Conclusion: Ewoks possess chimpanzee-equivalent arm strength and are physically tougher than humans.
Unfortunately for them, I didn't pick Daredevil, Cyclops, Elektra, or Silver Sable. All of whom in a jungle environment I think would lose to a village of Ewoks.
I picked Conan the Barbarian, who fights with the same weapons and style as the Ewoks.
Conan is stronger than all but a few humans.
This comes from the Marvel Wiki:
Powers
Nigh-Superhuman Strength: Conan possessed the strength level of a man his age, size and weight who engaged in intensive regular exercise. Conan was physically one of the most powerful humans who ever lived. Stated as having the strength of ten to twelve men. In What If volume 1 issue 43, he was able to lift Captain America (240 lbs) by the shield and easily throw him across a room.
Strength level Conan possessed the strength level of a man his age, size and weight who engaged in intensive regular exercise. Conan was physically one of the most powerful humans who ever lived; as demonstrated by overpowering the physically bigger strangler of Yota Pong Baal-Pteor, and breaking the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull when he was only a teenager.
Yes. Conan the Barbarian would take Captain American in a fight. That might be blasphemy to say on this website, but it's true.
Ewoks use siege weapons (which I assume they have access to here) and are adept at battle tactics:
They build permanent homes and wear clothing which means civilization and implies tribal warfare with neighboring Ewoks. The use of siege catapults, arrows and gliders supports this.
Conan has led armies. And weapons used against larger forces won't be much help against a single adversary.
Master Tactician and Strategist: Conan was a born leader and commander of men. His vast experiences in battle gave him considerable tactical and strategic knowledge.
Multi-Lingual: Conan was exceptionally intelligent and able to speak, read and write multiple ancient languages.
So physically, the ewoks are outmatched by Conan, and skill wise they're outmatched by someone whose using similar weapons to them - daggers, swords, knives, axes, spears, etc.
Conan:
Abilities
Master Warrior: Conan was a highly formidable armed and unarmed combatant. He had been trained to use most weapons available to his time with great ability. His skill, brutality and intensity was unsurpassed and he had been shown to kill highly skilled and armed opponents by the score, whether armed or bare-handed.
Ewoks:
Ewoks are an aggressive hunter/gatherer species that live at treetop canopy level despite lacking tails or prehensile feet. Obviously they live up there because the ground floor is littered with large mammalian predators. The logs, snares, bolos, rams et al are all standard for primitive species that trap and herd huge prey creatures (their nets are built large enough to ensnare 2 humans, 2 droids and a wookie); they could be using the logs to trap 20-foot tall timberwolves and merely lured the Empire into their traditional kill areas. What's odd is despite all of these tools the Ewoks' primary weapons are short spears... meaning to actually kill their prey they have to expose themselves to danger. Probably a mark of bravery. Ewoks are hardcore.
Ewoks have no problem using teeth an claws on an opponent, but Conan has been known to kill animals with his bare hands and teeth in every incarnation he's ever been portrayed in, be it Marvel Comics, or otherwise.
He was officially accepted as a man of the tribe that year when he rescued the tribe's war chief from a hungry pack of wolves - killing one of the wolves with his bare hands and teeth in the process!
Ewoks are supremely skilled at navigating jungle terrain. They're quite stealthy and dangerous, despite they're unpopular reputation with some:
Surprisingly, Ewoks are superior when it comes to tactics as well. They open the attack by infiltrating their primary striking force to within 60 yards of the Imperial force, and begin the attack with a multi-coordinated surprise assault. They employ textbook guerrilla concepts straight from Mao, hitting the Empire at its weakest (dismounted infantry) and fleeing from its strongest (armored walkers). Attacks that fail (catapults, gliders, hand-to-hand combat) are abandoned and replaced by better options (armor is neutralized by terrain, Ewoks begin using Imperial equipment such as bikes, captured walkers and Stormtrooper blasters).
Unfortunately for them, so is Conan.
Wilderness Instinct: Having been raised as a barbarian, Conan had time from birth to nurture a survival instinct lost to most other humans. This very instinct had saved his life on many occasions, making him an even more formidable warrior. Enhanced Senses: Conan was born and raised in the dark grey hills of Cimmeria, and spent much time outdoors-as both a necessity and as a form of leisure; as such, he developed senses of vision, smell, and hearing that were several times more acute than those of a "civilized" human.
Conan could more than likely smell the Ewoks or would know when they're getting close.
Conan's endurance also gives him an edge here in my opinion:
Peak Human Endurance: Conan could stay awake for days as well as exert himself for a considerable amount of time without rest before showing any signs of fatigue.
Ewok villages have shamans who can use magic, or probably some form of the Force.
Conan is used to dealing with magic and hates it with a passion:
Through years of dealing with sorcerers, magicians and witches he has developed a moderate level of resistance to magic and mind control spells.
So there you go.
I love Ewoks, I'd planned to use them in Fight Club since last season. They're formidable warriors, despite their reputation.
In a jungle environment, they'd take single opponents like Cyclops, Daredevil, Silver Sable, etc. But not Conan who is as adept in hellish jungle and forest environments as they are.
"now face off in the most brutal of combats...fighting vicariously through fictional characters. Tremble, mortals." - Shang Chi
The Ewoks wanted to explain how they would overcome this barbarian, but since none of you happen to speak their language they requested that I, their Golden God, convey their message. If the Ewoks could defeat a garrison of Storm Troopers with blaster rifles and AT-ST walkers then they can handle this barbarian.
Oh dear, they are fierce! This Conan may well be the strength of several men but the Ewoks were able to crush a walker with their traps. They would like me to point out that they have a wide variety of weapons at their disposal. Spears, arrows, poison darts, and slings to name a few. All of which were effective against highly trained men in state of the art armor. What kind of armor is this barbarian wearing?
Oh my, he fights nearly naked and a strapping man he is! Unfortunately, some of my Ewok associates might not make it through a tangle with this barbarian but eventually he will be worn down by their numbers, poison darts, and traps. The Ewoks have a mobility advantage of gliders. They can drop rocks on Conan or shoot him with arrows from a distance with him having no way to reach them. The Ewoks develop very effective strategies to take down seemingly more formidable foes. They were able to capture a wookie and a Jedi Knight with their trap. As you can see in this documentary, the Ewoks have defeated many giant monsters.
Perfect location here, George! Stranglethorn seems tailor made for the Ewoks...Lots of high vantage points, preexisting forts and shelters, and plenty of troll weapons laying around...the Ewoks could have a blast there!
However, the Ewoks have nothing Conan's never encountered before. Sticks, spears, bolos, traps...been there, done that. He also has his wilderness survival skills, as well as his enhanced senses. He'll be far more prepared and adept at tracking the Ewoks than the Stormtroopers were.
Also, C3PO brought up that Conan doesn't wear armor, and thus would be more vulnerable than even the Stormtroopers...But I beg to differ. There's a reason Conan survived so long without wearing any armor...HE DOESN'T NEED IT! He's easily much faster and more agile than any Stormtrooper. Armor would only hold him back!
Sorry, FSU, but I've gotta give it to Conan. The Ewoks are a very formidable race, but Conan is just too much for them. And I still say this would be a fun match to actually see play out! Great job to both of you!
"Whether Aunt May dies or not isn't the question. If she dies, does it mean anything beyond a brief sales spike because collectors/speculators think they'll be able to make a profit selling the book later? That is the question. Back when, Stan and company won our hearts and minds. I cared about Spider-Man and the other Marvel characters as though they were friends. I cared every time Aunt May got sick. That's what good creative work does."
Conan is frequently described as being "grim", or "suffering from great melancholies". In modern times he might be diagnosed as having bipolar disorder or some other form of depression. Less frequently he can be found to be quite mirthful, and occasionally he is prone to fits of rage when in battle
It appears that this barbarian is unstable. He will be overwhelmed by my Ewok friends numbers and tactics, then do something unwise that leads to his downfall.
Conan is frequently described as being "grim", or "suffering from great melancholies". In modern times he might be diagnosed as having bipolar disorder or some other form of depression. Less frequently he can be found to be quite mirthful, and occasionally he is prone to fits of rage when in battle
It appears that this barbarian is unstable. He will be overwhelmed by my Ewok friends numbers and tactics, then do something unwise that leads to his downfall.
Conan has zero weaknesses in battle. He's never been shown to be affected by this in 40+ years of fiction.
In Conan's very first Marvel story, he fought and defeated a score of northern viking warriors, and then being half dead, he chased Ymir the snow god's daughter across the snow for miles. She led him into a trap against her two brothers who were frost giants. Conan killed them both in a minute.
"now face off in the most brutal of combats...fighting vicariously through fictional characters. Tremble, mortals." - Shang Chi
tnr105 wrote:Gotta go with the killer Teddy Bears.
Dude, seriously? I love Ewoks (have both of the Ewok movies on dvd), but are you familiar with Conan at all? I have no problem conceding that Ewoks are formidable, but they are not going to take Conan.
"now face off in the most brutal of combats...fighting vicariously through fictional characters. Tremble, mortals." - Shang Chi
Fight Club gods! I've never prayed to you before, I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you will remember if we were good men, or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. No, all that matter is that one stood against many. That's what's important. Valor pleases you Fight Club gods. So grant me one request. Grant me victory, and if you do not listen...then to hell with you!
"now face off in the most brutal of combats...fighting vicariously through fictional characters. Tremble, mortals." - Shang Chi
My Ewok friends would like me to point out that the barbarian will face their wrath from every angle. They will shoot arrows and rocks from the trees where he can not reach. They will also bombard him from the sky.
Originally, the hang gliders may have been used simply to transport Ewoks across the forests. Eventually, they began carrying rocks, spears, and slings for use in hunting small creatures from above. The Ewoks soon realized that these same weapons could also be used in defense against towering monsters such as the Gorax.[3] Furthermore, with the Wisties guiding the Ewoks around dangerous convection currents, the Ewoks were also able to use the gliders as a forest fire suppression method by airdropping Master Logray's magic foam.[4] Thus, when the Ewoks agreed to aid the Rebels, they used their extensive experience with their remarkable hang gliders to gain an advantage over the land-bound stormtroopers.
This Conan will face deadly traps from above, below, and all sides. He will not have the great Admiral Ackbar to warn him. They are also quite formidable in hand to hand combat when the have to be!
At last the circle is complete. Conan was the very first character I ever used in Fight Club. I'm pleased to be the one to bring him back for more Fight Club glory as well.
Whew, glad that's over with. I knew ewoks would be tough, but I still didn't think it'd be this close. And a Hall of Fame match as well. I knew I was right not to take this match lightly.
You know you only have to ask when you want a rematch, my friend.
"now face off in the most brutal of combats...fighting vicariously through fictional characters. Tremble, mortals." - Shang Chi
I enjoyed this match quite a lot...might be my favorite MvsSW fight yet! Great combatants on both sides, and a great location for this match. Good job, everybody!
And because it absolutely MUST be posted:
"Whether Aunt May dies or not isn't the question. If she dies, does it mean anything beyond a brief sales spike because collectors/speculators think they'll be able to make a profit selling the book later? That is the question. Back when, Stan and company won our hearts and minds. I cared about Spider-Man and the other Marvel characters as though they were friends. I cared every time Aunt May got sick. That's what good creative work does."
I enjoyed this match quite a lot...might be my favorite MvsSW fight yet! Great combatants on both sides, and a great location for this match. Good job, everybody!
It was quite fun. I knew I was probably going to lose against Conan, not to mention Mr. Thrawnslaught himself. It's cool that it ended up that close to be another hall of fame.
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