Friendly Fire Fight Club #238 - 'The Wide & the MIGHTY!'

[George Berryman]

"Make way and hide your daughters... Shang Chi is in the hizzouse, bitches!"

"Great Day in Heaven! Our Commissioner got off work early so we're getting two fights tonight!"

"Recently, FSUSpiderFan challenged herbiepopnecker, who accepted. As his champion, herbiepopnecker chose his own Crawl Space avatar... FAT FURY!"



"Uh huh. In response, FSUSpiderFan countered Fat Fury's... formidable prowess... with a villain popular in the heart of all geeks everywhere... SKELETOR!"



"Let's head to a venue with enough space to really let the fat fly, so to speak. How about the exotic Australian Outback?"



"Excuse please while Shang Chi reads the following copy and pasted text. *ahem* Australia's fabled Outback is typically considered to be anywhere people aren't living in large groups. Yes, it's that large. It's home to kangaroos, dingos, numerous lethaly poison creatures and has been featured in numerous books and films - including 1986's "Crocodile" Dundee."

"Those, then, are your choices... a tubby wonder against a Master of the Universe! Who walks away in glory? Who crawls away in defeat? DECIDE NOW!"

"For Commissioner George Berryman and everyone at Friendly Fire Fight Club, this is the Master of Kung Fu bringing the sexy back!"

[herbiepopnecker]

First off, the Fat Fury is impervious to magic, as seen
by first one, then another witch casting spells upon him -
one to make him disappear, the other to change form (they wished).
When each expressed consternation at the failure of the spells,
asking why he didn't disappear/change, he explained very simply,
"don't wanna". He don't wanna - he ain't gonna.
Secondly Herbie and Fat Fury are indeed one and the same -
the suit is strictly for looks. Come on, you know it's ultra
snazzy!

Our hero (okay - MY hero) can talk to any and all animals, and
all and any animals know, respect and at times fear him.
He once saved the planet Bertram(!!) from lionosaurs, huge
dragons/dinos with lion heads. "You want I should bop you
with this here lollipop? he inquired. On recognizing him,
the creatures fled in abject terror, after which Herbie rode
a bicycle (yes, a bicycle!) back to earth through outer space.

Speaking of outer space, on one of his outings, a fiery celestial
body took offense to someone interfering in its' element and decided
a lesson had to be taught. But, on seeing "It's - - it's Herbie!"
thought better of such rash foolishness and swerved to avoid a
collision with Fat Fury.

Convinced yet?
How about machine-gun bullets zipping toward Herbie, only to
see who stood before them and dodge away from the fellow?
In another tale, he caught a rifle bullet between his teeth, while
others simply bounced off him.

In "Herbie Goes to the Devil!" a charge of The Satan Security Force
was stopped toot sweet, apparently by a single lollipop bop. Besides
which, the rotund rascal got the imps of Satan riled up into going
on strike, threatening to stop the boilers. AND he gave the devil
a lollipop hot-foot....just...well, it wasn't on the feet/foot.
Ouchie owie.

Besides the afore-mentioned, he has lollipop bopped, among a slew
of poor suckers (see what I did there?!) the giant from Jack's bean
stalk, the (three-headed) Loch Ness monster (into outer space, I might
add) and a three-horned dragon (into the nothingness it had been magically
summoned from).

Our boy is powerful indeed! When offered assistance by JFK in the form
of "plane coverage, tanks, and up to 1,000 men" Herbie simply replied,
"don't need 'em". Well - of course not! All he needed was lollipops!

"Phantoms from beyond"? Herbie simply called jungle beasts to scatter
them. And he has strolled nonchalantly through a herd of charging
elephants as well as had a charging bison (from behind) end up upside
down on the ground for being so foolish as to try attacking Herbie...
who barely noticed what had transpired behind his back.

These are only a *few* random examples from just ONE volume of the HERBIE
ARCHIVES, which runs three fun-packed, lollipop-licking, laugh-arousing
volumes, of what Fat Fury can do (including, even to his surprise, casting
magic spells and riding a donkey upside down in mid air) and his utter
invincibility. Not to mention melting Dracula and Frankenstein with...that...
gaze...

Advantage, very much H*E*R*B*I*E!!

Edit: Cool, this one's named for my champion!
He is indeed Wide and MIGHTY

[FSUSpiderFan]

Skeletor is going to chop off the fat. He is a supremely talented sword fighter.

Skeletor is also superstrong. He can go toe to toe with He-man. Skeletor is also very fast.
HE can create a magical force field to block powerful blows.
He is durable enough to take blows from He-man. At 1:20 Skeletor survives giant boulder 2:30 he escapes from under it.
4:16 He displays masterful Sword fighting. At the end of the video he uses powerful magic blasts and easily jumps 100 feet in the air.


At 2:27 He easily deflects a powerful blow from a magical amulet and steals it from the user in a flash. Skeletor could easily do this to a slow fat guy with a magic lollipop. Skeletor will just use the lollipops against Herbie. Taking and using powerful magic items is kind of a specialty for Skeletor.

[herbiepopnecker]

Herbie can also wield swords, including cutlasses, usually
quite nonchalantly, so he can handle this aspect of Skeletor
just fine. More than just fine, in fact. He would probably
handle the blade with super speed, all the while licking his
lollipop.

Skeletor take Fat Fury's lollipop?! That'll never happen and even
if it did, that would just galvanize him into extreme action,
NOBODY takes his lollipops! More likely scenario is Skeletor
grabbing the lollipop and going into contortions trying to
wrest it away from Herbie and winding up exhausted.

Herbie can go toe to toe with just about anyone too, including
giants. He has bopped one with the Statue of Liberty's lamp and
withstood mighty blows from all kinds of enemies and weapons.
Pounded with a cave man's club (which broke on him) Herbie
realized: "Say, are you attacking me?".

Notwithstanding Herbie is impervious to magic (remember
"don't wanna..." from my first post?!) magical blasts/bolts will
probably recognize Fat Fury and swerve to avoid him. Force
field? Not even being aware it's there, he's likely to simply
just amble through it - or push it out of his way.

Last but not least, there's always that gaze.

Realistically, with his powers, stength, invincibility,
resistance to magic and other skills even he doesn't know about,
the match goes to Herbie Popnecker, the Fat Fury.

Edit: And he'll summon dingoes, kangaroos and lethally poisonous critters.

[FSUSpiderFan]

Herbie is often unaware he is even being attacked

That may be an advantage against herbie's usual opponents but it will give Skeletor a chance to kick his ass. Steal his lollipop and use it against Herbie. By the time Herbie notices his pop is gone Skeletor will have already bopped him with it.

[AmFan15]

The mere fact that Fat Fury's powers come from eating magic lollipops seems like a disadvantage to me.
...Eventually, they will run out.

Skeletor's powers, however, are his own. They won't run out.

He easily deflects a powerful blow from a magical amulet and steals it from the user in a flash. Skeletor could easily do this to a slow fat guy with a magic lollipop. Skeletor will just use the lollipops against Herbie. Taking and using powerful magic items is kind of a specialty for Skeletor.

I like this rationale...Like taking candy from a baby.

[herbiepopnecker]

Herbie also has powers in and of himself, but the
idea of someone taking one of his lollipops away
is quite ludicrous. Not gonna happen...EVER.

His invincibility is why he sometimes isn't aware he's
being attacked, but since he's invincible - doesn't matter.


And I repeat:

Skeletor take Fat Fury's lollipop?! That'll never happen and even
if it did, that would just galvanize him into extreme action,
NOBODY takes his lollipops! More likely scenario is Skeletor
grabbing the lollipop and going into contortions trying to
wrest it away from Herbie and winding up exhausted.

[herbiepopnecker]

The mere fact that Fat Fury's powers come from eating magic lollipops seems like a disadvantage to me.
...Eventually, they will run out.

Skeletor's powers, however, are his own. They won't run out.

He easily deflects a powerful blow from a magical amulet and steals it from the user in a flash. Skeletor could easily do this to a slow fat guy with a magic lollipop. Skeletor will just use the lollipops against Herbie. Taking and using powerful magic items is kind of a specialty for Skeletor.

I like this rationale...Like taking candy from a baby.

All this addressed recently, Herbie will have no problem with Skeletor, lollipop or no lollipop.
Read my rebuttals again.

[Two-Bit Specialist]

Go Skeletor!

[FSUSpiderFan]

Uh oh, the Fat Fury is starting to gain. I better do something before he gets momentum.


and here is Skeletor's most evil power

[herbiepopnecker]

Not sure people are reading my posts anyway.
The more Herbie I read, the more convinced
I am he's got it all over Skeletor.

[FSUSpiderFan]

Not sure people are reading my posts anyway.
The more Herbie I read, the more convinced
I am he's got it all over Skeletor.

The trick is to convince the voters . At least one person read your posts and bought into the Herbie mania.

[FSUSpiderFan]

[herbiepopnecker]

Laugh all you want, bone-head, Herbie still
has his lollipops (including hard to get cinnamon)!

[Thrawn]

Laugh all you want, bone-head, Herbie still
has his lollipops (including hard to get cinnamon)!

Sorry you lost Brother Gremlin. There's always next time.

Congrats to you FSU. Nice job getting Skeletor his first Fight Club victory.

The Overlord of Evil is pleased.