The Douglas Classic Season Two Championship - 'QUACKMIRE!'

[George Berryman]

And now, almost live from the Crawl Space Fight Club Studios, please welcome tonight's hosts, Benjamin J. Grimm and Shang Chi, the Master of Kung Fu!

"Greetin's, Fight Clubbers! It's yer ol' pal, th' Ever Lovin' Blue Eyed Thing, here once again to see Season Two o' Friendly Fire Fight Club through to its bloody end. Joinin' me again is yer own Master of Kung Fu... th' Quicker Kicker Killah, th' High Marshal o' Martial Arts, th' inventor of th' Smooth Pimpin' Kung Fu Style... Shang Chi. Shang, how th' Hell are ya?"

"Rich, Ben Grimm! Shang Chi is rich!"

"Lemme guess... rich wit enlightenment?"

"Cold Hard Cash, Grimm! It's a Payday Avalanche and Shang Chi has been flattened!"

"Oh? Share th' wealth pal! Lemme in on th' secret... whatcha got goin' on? Merchandisin'?"

"Not yet but probably soon!"

"Right, well... congrats n' all. But remember Shang, money easily gotten is easily lost or somethin'."

"Do not rain orange tinkle on Shang Chi's parade, Ben Grimm. Let me savor the moment."

"Fine, Shang - keep yer secret fer now. Anyway I... wait, hold th' phone! Takin' th' field now, here they come... the Douglas Classic Official Cheerleading Squad!!"



"Would it be a championship game without 'em?"

"Hell no, Thing! And Shang Chi has dated half of them!"

"Jeez, Shang. Fear o' committment much?"

"In Hong Kong we have a saying. Do not buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

"Yer a lovely human bein' Shang. Movin' on... please rise for th' natioanl anthem. Especially any o' you commies out there. Don't make me find ya!"

"Tonight's singing of the Star Spangled Banner will be provided by DC's very own Black Canary!"



"WOW! Okay so that wasn't Black Canary... no idea what happened to Dinah Lance, but thanks to James Brown for tonight's openin' song!"

"Ben Grimm, I have just been handed a statement from Black Canary's manager saying that she could not appear tonight due to this season's new "Two & Through!" Rule which excludes her from post-season appearances."

"Damn red tape!!"

"Shang Chi agrees! Black Canary really shakes what her mother gave her."

"Uh huh. Well either way it's time to get th' party started. Tonight's season two finalists leave a trail o' broken opponents in their wake. Thrawn ascended to th' best ever Friendly Fire Fight Club regular season record and even broke the longest win streak record as well. He broke through Ladyspider in Round One and Commissioner Berryman in Round Two but tonight he faces Spider-Girl "Bubba Moose" Stella. Stella came on strong in th' last half o' th' season and worked her way into th' fourth spot in the top eight. She fought past Two-Bit Specialist in Round One and then FSUSpiderFan - who was in this very game last year - and now she's laying it all on the line for the championship."

"Thrawnslaught versus the Underdog! Err... Undermoose!"

"Right! Since Thrawn had th' better record he was considered th' challenger, leavin' Stella to pick first. As her champion Stella called for an opponent who has consistently claimed Fight Club glory in ever match he's starred in. Last season he was th' third opponent Thrawn faced and this season Thrawn used him successfully in a battle against Perry the Platypus. He comes into tonight's fight with a 3-0 record in Fight Club... ladies and gentlemen please welcome BUGS BUNNY!"



"Going with a proven vet is a sound strategy in Fight Club, Ben Grimm. Thrawn, however, has gone with an unproven opponent that we have yet to see in Fight Club... unless you count Friendly Fight Club #58 which featured this combatant's 'good' twin. Coming to us tonight from St. Canard in his Fight Club debut, here's NEGADUCK!"



"It's a Toontown Tussle Tonight, eh? Well good luck to 'em. But where are they fightin'? The Commissioner informs us that he has selected Buckingham Palace as tonight's fight venue!"



"Shang Chi has been in this wonderful place and has played poker with Queen Elizabeth II herself."

"So help me that better not be slang..."

"The woman could bluff John Wayne, Grimm. The woman takes no prisoners. Shang Chi left with nothing but his boxers."

"Wow... look at the time. Fer Shang Chi, George Berryman an' all of da Crawl Space Fight Club Crew, this is Ben Grimm sayin' "Do You Hear The Drums Fernando?"






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[Spider-Girl]

Argument 1: Verbal: Coming soon!

Arguement 2: Visual:



:10 Negaduck is rash; he is easily excited and goes off shooting at everything and does not hit one thing!

1:10 He is easily convinced and distracted by things that he enjoys!

1:20 He just walks right off a roof! Where’s his head at?!

1:52 -1:59 Negaduck has a bit of an ego which definitely puts him in sticky situations and makes him not think clearly; when he thinks he is invulnerable or ‘the best’ he usually takes a fall due to this pride.

3:30 He inadvertently helps Darkwing defeat him.

4:37 He does not think his plans through.

5:51 He seems to have an allergic reaction to love and care. Perhaps Bugs could use this to his advantage!

6:34 Negaduck’s attraction to dark women leads to his downfall. He lets his guard down easily for Morgana to lay a heavy blow.



:17 There he goes falling off the roof again and totally getting beat up by Darkwing!

1:00 Again, easily tricked.

1:35 Negaduck has a lack of grace while fighting, which leads to him messing up and hurting himself!

2:38 What?! Did he just inadvertently help Darkwing by giving him advice?

2:45 There goes his pride again!

3:25 Defeated by Darkwing who happens to be seriously injured!

3:55 Negaduck is easily outwitted by Darkwing and walks off the plank that he planned for Darkwing to walk off of.

4:55 Again, he inadvertently helps Darkwing.

5:05 WHAT?! Did he just drink a chemical that his arch nemesis offered him??? Stranger Danger!

6:00 He is beat up by citizens.

6:15 He is beat up by a lobster AND a can!


I shall return with a lengthier verbal argument, but to tide you over:

Bugs is able to easily outwit his opponents. He not only turns the tables on them, often using their plans against, but his plans are also more thought out. He has also come against several armed foes in the past like Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, and even Taz, who happens to BE a weapon. Bugs will definitely be able to defeat Negaduck! Bugs has been getting the best of his foes for decades whereas Negaduck has not defeated his single foe in the few years he has been around!

[FSUSpiderFan]

Shang I am disappointed that you've only been with half of the cheerleaders. Sounds like you've been slacking.

Great opening salvo Stella. Bugs beats almost everyone he goes against but NegaDuck is routinely defeated by a bumbling crime fighter. The duck may have more fire power but the rabbit can pull gags out of nowhere. Bugs also has an advantage of speed, agility and burrowing. Thrawn has his work cut out for him here.

[Thrawn]

I'm at work currently. I will post some rebuttals either later tonight, or in the morning. Here's my opening remarks that I had prepared earlier.





Let's start by telling you who Nega Duck is - he's pure evil, a real psycho killer. These videos sum it up nicely:





He is a super villain that inhabits the same cartoon reality as Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, Scooge McDuck, Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers, all the Ducktales characters, etc.

Nega Duck is the main villain for Darkwing Duck, who in essence is Disney's duck version of Batman. Darkwing Duck is a detective, a master crime fighter, and a master martial artist. Nega Duck is an evil version of Darkwing from an alternate reality.

Nega Duck is a master level fighter. He knows karate, kung fu, etc. He's a formidable hand to hand combatant. Nega Duck loves all manner of weapons. He uses chainsaw, knives, machetes, tanks, guns, flame throwers, chainsaws, bombs, nuclear warheads, cannons, you name it. He uses it.

Nega Duck lives for evil. He is evil incarnate. Anything good sickens him. He hates flowers, kindness, do-gooders, fluffy bunnies, everything. He lives for chaos, death and destruction. He's like Doctor Doom, Thanos, Carnage, and Darkseid all rolled into one. Nega Duck lives to cause pain, death, and destruction.

Nega Duck is also highly cunning. He's a planner and a schemer. Nega Duck knows about alternate dimensions and somehow discovered the cross roads of reality. He used this knowledge to kidnap and brainwash all the alternate reality versions of Darkwing in order to attack "Darkwing Prime". Nega Duck teamed up with evil Sorceress Magica De Spell in order to pull this plan off.







Nega Duck is so formidable and terrifying that the other villainous members of the Fearsome Five are afraid of him. He's a far more serious and cunning character than they are. Animals cringe in fear from Nega Duck as well. Nega Duck discovered Darkwing's secret identify and refused to share it with the other villains:







Nega Duck used the knowledge of Darkwing's secret identify to hit him where it hurt. Inside the sanctity of his own home. He threatened his sidekick, and Darkwing's own daughter Gosalyn.

Naturally when he busts in Nega Duck is armed with nearly every conceivable weapon of death and death and destruction imaginable. He's riding a tank, armed with missiles, buzz-saws, flame throwers, arrows, bear traps, and everything else. Nega Duck is hard core.



That's Nega Duck.

Now what about Bugs Bunny? Bugs Bunny is formidable no doubt. I've championed him myself in Fight Club. However in Bugs Bunny's entire career he has never encountered an opponent quite like Nega Duck.

Bugs Bunny usually deals with idiots. Nega Duck is not an idiot as I've demonstrated above. He not only concocted a plan that spanned hundreds of alternate realities, he executed it flawlessly only to be narrowly defeated by our heroes.

Nega Duck is so far above the usual suspects Bugs deals with it isn't funny.

But Bugs is still formidable. He's durable, and tough as hell. So is Nega Duck.

The problem for Bugs is that he's a brawler. Nega Duck is not. Nega Duck is a master marital artist whose adept at using weapons of mass destruction.

Here he is dual wielding chainsaws against his ultimate nemesis Darkwing Duck:




Here he is getting angry and just beating the ever loving hell out of Darkwing Duck with death in both his eyes and his black heart:



As stated previously, Nega Duck actually has pretty dastardly goals. And they matter to him. He's not Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Marvin Martian. Nega Duck is a very dangerous and real threat to not just his universe, but all of reality since he travels between dimensions.



So Nega Duck is a more formidable opponent than what Bugs is used to.

He's smarter and more devious than Bugs in a real way because he's a threat to all reality,

Nega Duck is a much more formidable hand to hand combatant than Bugs. Nega Duck knows martial arts, Bugs is only a brawler.

Bugs can dodge bullets, so can Nega Duck.

Nega Duck has proven dangerous and fast enough to not only dodge Morgana Mcaber's magical blasts, but to turn the tables on her as well. So in general he has experience against opponents who are at least as deadly as the most dangerous Bugs Bunny opponent.

For the purposes of Fight Club, it's first fall, and Bugs won't know what he's up against until it's too late. I love Bugs, but Nega Duck is a whole other level of nastiness.

He's a pysho killer the likes of which Bugs hasn't encountered before.

And he hates rabbits:





And because I wouldn't be a very good Crawlspace poster if I didn't include our very own Gregxb's tribute to Nega Duck. It's pretty thorough and definitely worth a watch. That one's for you Greg.

[FSUSpiderFan]

That's all well and good but doesn't Nega Duck generally get defeated at the end of each of those examples?

[HookrsAndSpdrMn]

That's all well and good but doesn't Nega Duck generally get defeated at the end of each of those examples?

Doesn't Doom, Magneto and pretty much every other bad guy get defeated at the end of every story? It's just the way it is, the bad guy always loses (unless your name is Mephisto)... the Fight Club is different circumstances...

and I must say.. only crediting Negaduck with "twin chainsaws" in his player card is kind of glossing over the rest of his arsenal. As Thrawn points out he has a lot more at his disposal.

Good luck to you both, very interesting matchup.

[Thrawn]

That's all well and good but doesn't Nega Duck generally get defeated at the end of each of those examples?

Almost always by teams. Darkwing has defeated him by himself, but it usally takes teams to defeat Nega Duck. Darkwing, Launchpad, Gosalyn, Honker, Gizmoduck, and occaisonally it takes Nega Duck's own villains to stop him.

Bugs beats almost everyone he goes against but NegaDuck is routinely defeated by a bumbling crime fighter.

Bugs does not. He has lost to the gremlin before, the tortoise (twice), he was also defeated by Steve Martin's character in the Looney Toons Movie starring Brandon Fraizer. Daffy Duck had to save not only Bugs, but everyone else.

Nega Duck is much more dangerous than Steve Martin's character was in the Looney Toons Movie.

In Bully for Bugs, Bugs was completely oblivious to the threat the bull faced. He smacks the bull in the face like an idiot. As if it never occured to Bugs the bull would retaliate? C'mon now. He then gets nailed in the fluffy butt and sent sailing through the sky. Nega Duck is a lethal psycho unlike any opponent Bugs has ever faced before, and he's armed.

FSU my friend, you call Darkwing a bumbling crime fighter, but in the Darkwing show there are several instances of characters being murdered. Darkwing himself killed a F.O.W.L agent who had obtained almost limitless psychic powers. Darkwing over loaded his thought processes and caused his head exploded killing him.

Darkwing as at least one death on his hands that I can think of right off the top of my head. For all his goofiness, Darkwing is a highly skilled and competent character. Nega Duck even more so. And even though Negs has an ego, it's not as big of an achilles heel for him. He's sort of like Doctor Doom in that regard. The ego doesn't lessen his threat or capabilities in combat.

4:37 He does not think his plans through.

Not true as I've demonstrated. He ably went dimension hopping and executed a highly complex plan that spanned hundreds of dimensions.

6:34 Negaduck’s attraction to dark women leads to his downfall. He lets his guard down easily for Morgana to lay a heavy blow.

False. Nega Duck is not hampered by women at all. In the Morgana MaCawber episode, he was smitten with a love potion. He was willing to kill her if she didn't cooperate with him.

However, Bugs is more weak the fairer sex than Nega Duck is. Something that's ultimately irrelevant to this match.

:17 There he goes falling off the roof again and totally getting beat up by Darkwing!

Did you miss the other six people in the vid that caused him to fall off the roof? Again, it took a team effort to cause Nega Duck's downfall. That particular team consisted of Darkwing, Gosalyn, Honker, Gizmo Duck (think Iron Man), the fish lady (forget her name), and Steg Mutt (George should love him ).

1:00 Again, easily tricked.

Love potion that it took Morgana- a master level sorceress, Darkwing - Disney's version of Batman, Gosalyn, and Morgana's three familiars - two bats and a spider to apply to Nega Duck.

1:35 Negaduck has a lack of grace while fighting, which leads to him messing up and hurting himself!

Misinterpretation. Darkwing dodged. Darkwing is a master level fighter as well. That's like Captain America getting hit by Iron Fist and then you saying he had a lack of grace.

3:25 Defeated by Darkwing who happens to be seriously injured!

Darkwing had a powerful magical bad luck curse on him at the time. It happened to also cause Nega Duck's downfall.

3:55 Negaduck is easily outwitted by Darkwing and walks off the plank that he planned for Darkwing to walk off of.

A version of Darkwing and Nega Duck from the past that may or may not have ever existed.

6:15 He is beat up by a lobster AND a can!

Darkwing who had been turned into a lobster. The can came from Gosalyn, who was there with Launchpad, and Darkwing. Again three individuals.

6:00 He is beat up by citizens.

Lots of individuals.

Here...Nega Duck is armed with dual chainsaws and is not restricted by the rating guidelines afternoon programming enforces.

[FSUSpiderFan]

and I must say.. only crediting Negaduck with "twin chainsaws" in his player card is kind of glossing over the rest of his arsenal. As Thrawn points out he has a lot more at his disposal.

Good luck to you both, very interesting matchup.

No he was limited to only those chainsaws for this fight as agreed upon before the match.

[HookrsAndSpdrMn]

and I must say.. only crediting Negaduck with "twin chainsaws" in his player card is kind of glossing over the rest of his arsenal. As Thrawn points out he has a lot more at his disposal.

Good luck to you both, very interesting matchup.

No he was limited to only those chainsaws for this fight as agreed upon before the match.

I stand corrected then.. interesting stipulation

[Thrawn]

I stand corrected then.. interesting stipulation

The idea was that Nega Duck couldn't carry too much weaponry since Bugs isn't routinely armed. Negs is dual wielding chainsaws in this match, and he's perfectly able to steal guns, mace, and tasers off of the guards at Buckingham Palace.

The thought of Nega Duck and Bugs Bunny loose in Buckingham Palace gives new meaning to the phrase "God save the queen", doesn't it?

Just the thought of Nega Duck slicing Bugs and the entire palace apart make me tingle.

[iron_patriot]

The thought of Nega Duck and Bugs Bunny loose in Buckingham Palace gives new meaning to the phrase "God save the queen", doesn't it?
Just the thought of Nega Duck slicing Bugs and the entire palace apart make me tingle.

Thrawn, if I never said it in previous matches, you are one sadistic SOB.

I approve!

[GeorgeEl]

Well, I was leading towards Bugs after both opening arguments, but Thrawn, your counters. . . Going with ND now. *that's me switching sides.

[Thrawn]

And just to go ahead and try to stop the Bugs is unbeatable train before it leaves the station, see this guy here?



Bugs was defeated while trying to stop his master plan. Daffy was the hero of that movie. Daffy saved planet Earth and Bugs from certrain doom. If that guy's plan could stop Bugs, Nega Duck most certainly can.

Nega Duck is infinitely more dangerous than the owner of the Acme company. You see, we're not in a WB cartoon. We're in Fight Club. Anybody can lose, anybody can win.

Bugs is a brawler, Nega Duck is a master martial artist.

Bugs is unarmed, Nega Duck is weilding two chainsaws and he knows how to use them.

Nega Duck is also perfectly capable of stealing weapons from the palace guards to use on Bugs as well. When it comes do using weapons, Bugs is no where near as proficient as Nega Duck. That's a fact.

I love Bugs with all my heart, but under Fight Club rules, I think Nega Duck takes him.

Well, I was leading towards Bugs after both opening arguments, but Thrawn, your counters. . . Going with ND now. *that's me switching sides.

Thank you for being open to reason. I knew of the Nega Duck's most embarrassing moments video on Youtube. I was curious to see if Stella would be diligent enough to find it. She was. For that she has my respect.

However, I watched that video, and it does not tell you the whole story. As I stated in my counters, in almost all of those moments, there were teams of heroes involved, magic curses, magic spells, or momentary setbacks that Nega Duck got right back up from.

They are very easy to account for and explain. I did my homework too.

[Thrawn]

Bugs also has an advantage of speed, agility and burrowing.

This caught my eye. I meant to respond to this earlier. That's not exactly true. Bugs may or may not actually have the speed and agility advantage. Nega Duck has proven fast enough to dodge arrows, Morgana MaCawber's magical blasts, Darkwing's gas gun, and if I'm not mistaken bullets.

That takes peak agility and speed. Nega Duck absolutely can compete with Bugs in those areas. Nega Duck is the evil equivalent of Batman in his universe.

Bugs can burrow, but that doesn't win him the match. He can't win by avoiding Nega Duck, and let's say he burrows under Nega Duck and causes him to fall into one of Bugs' underground tunnels.

Two problems with that scenario for Bugs.

1. Nega Duck is armed with chainsaws.

2. Even if he wasn't, Nega Duck outclasses Bugs in hand to hand combat skill. That's a fact. Up close, Bugs loses to Nega Duck, and since Bugs isn't armed in order to win he has to get close to Nega Duck. I don't see how Bugs wins this match.

Nega Duck is also the stronger of the two. I posted the scan of Nega Duck getting mad and just pounding on Darkwing. I'd ask you to consider that FSU.



Darkwing is a master martial artist as well and a more skilled hand to hand opponent than Bugs. That might as well be the wascally rabbit Negs is pounding on.

[Ladyspider]