Alford Notes: ASM #38/839

OK Crawlspacers, you know to never count your money while you’re sitting at the table, but do you know when to walk away – and when to run?  Foreigner doesn’t!  So, what does all this casino business have to do with Spidey?  Join Dark Mark as we find out in this review of ASM #38.
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Let’ make things a little interesting.  What are the odds that we will have a letters page without a Chi-Town letter in it?  Place your bets, boys!  It’s time to web sling!

 

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Story Title:  Breaking News part 1

Writer: Nick Spencer

Artist: Iban Coello

Colorist: Brian Reber

Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga

Cover Artist:  Ryan Ottley and Nathan Fairbairn

Asst. Editor: Kathleen Wisneki

Editor: Nick Lowe

Published: January 22, 2020

 

Remedial ASM 101

Norah has approached JJJ with a job offer he can’t refuse, Silver Sable and Foreigner are an item, but currently Sable is recuperating from near death, Spidey keeps getting pulled in to clean up his sister’s *shudder* mess, Mary Jane is off in Hollywood filming a movie for Mysterio, and Harry (most likely) is running around in bandages playing with centipedes.  There – now all caught up.

 

The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test

JJJ’s first day on the job and he is shocked to find out that Threats and Menaces is not the hard edge news reporting agency he had hoped for and is run by hipsters rather than old men wearing down their shoe leather.

On top of that, they are writing news stories, they are just creating click bait headlines.  He’s out of his element until Spider-Man robs a bank. He decides he will both rescue Spidey and get the  true story.  Meanwhile, Foreigner is feeling so bad that he has to leave Sable to her PT alone while goes off to do, uh, “business”.

This takes him to a casino run by a criminal gambler known as Chance.  He is not interested in betting until he sees he can bet on Spider-Man beating some Maggia banker punks.  He loses even though Spider-Man wins.  Spider-Man, meanwhile, is robbing a bank for his sister who is supposed to be a superspy, but can’t seem to actually do anything without Spider-Man.  she just glosses over that there is going to be no way for him to clear his name.  Gee, thanks, Sis! At one point, JJJ rescues Spider-Man using only his wits and a scooter.  In exchange, Spidey tells JJJ the top-secret reason he robbed a bank, only to find that Jameson writes a news story and blabs the secret to the world. Who saw that coming?

What Passed and Failed

Pass – The Artwork – Iban Coello and Brian Reber do a great job on this issue and I particularly like the angles of the camera that Coello uses.

Fail – Teresa – I’m not thrilled about her existence, but I am not averse to her showing up once every five years or so to spark Spider-Man’s involvement.  This, though, is just taking advantage of his kind nature with no regards to his personal life.  Let’s see – so far, she caused him to miss saying goodbye to his wife, jeopardized his college education, and now is putting his very reputation on the line.  I’m ready for her to be done.  She is the reason I stopped picking up the other title.

Pass – This picture of JJJ.  I just find it hilarious.

Fail – Side character Spidey – Sure, Spidey is in this comic, but not the center of the story.  JJJ’s story is much more important here and Spidey’s involvement only serves to promote his development and gives something to tie Foreigner’s story into.  If I was more invested in the side story, it probably wouldn’t be an issue for me.

Pass – SOUNDS!

OOTI (Onomatopoeia of the Issue)

On a scale of 1 (POW) to 10 (BLRKBQRKPQRBLNB), KUNG rates a 9. How in the world does that guy’s face and Spidey’s foot make THAT noise?  Awesome!

Analysis

The main story here is JJJ and Nora.  I was excited about Nora’s return because it seemed to be a harbinger of a return to a Daily Bugle-esque setting.  Threats and Menaces, though, is far from that.  I thought the click bait headlines were funny, but I doubt that this will lead to Peter Parker getting a job as a photographer.  At least not a job that will have any lasting impact.

The image of Bucky taking his time to defend Cap on the Internet is funny.

We do get to see some funny moments with JJJ trying to fit in with these young Neil Bogenrieder types.  In fact, for those who do not know what Neil looks like, it is remarkable like the guy that JJJ spit Caramel Macchiato on.

There are a few more takeaways from this issue.  One is that Teresa isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.  She is integrally tied into the Chameleon storyline and we are going to have to tread through this for quite a while.  I imagine that we will have to wait for MJ’s movie to be over before we get the resolution to the Kindred story, so this Chameleon arc seems to be the main focus until then.  Well, that and the Silver Sable story.  There is no real reason to see her this issue unless Spidey is going to be pulled back into her war for her country.  I am intrigued some with the Foreigner.

I took him at face value at first when he said he had business to attend to, so I assumed he was at Chance’s casino with an ulterior motive.  Chance and his casino will play more of a role in future issues and hopefully it will be more like Ocean’s Eleven rather than a Canto Bight fiasco.

Speaking of the casino, I have no idea what this means:

So… he bets on Spidey and Spidey wins, but he loses?  Someone explain?

 

Chance first appeared in Web of Spider-Man #15, which may or may not already tell you all you need to know about him.  His name is Nicholas Powell and he is basically a rich gambler who doesn’t mind breaking the law.  His suit is pretty powerful.  The helmet gives him 360 degree vision along with infrared, radar, and protection from light-based attacks.  His wrist blasters shoot both darts and plasma blasts, and, of course, his boots have jet rockets in them.

What’s his thing?  Gambling.  Since he is rich, he will often bet using his life as collateral.  It gives him an rush.  His first encounter with Spider-Man resulted from working with the Foreigner.  He’s also had run-ins with Daredevil, Cardiac, Deadpool, Sam Wilson, and Hawkeye.

One story in particular involving Spider-Man was when others were allowed to gamble on who would be able to kill a guy named Trask – the Vulture or Chance.  Nathan Lubensky bets all his money, but Spider-Man saved Trask.

I am glad to see that he has since moved on from those ways and has opened a Casino with No Name, as it were, for the criminally high rollers.  It looks as if we will be seeing more of him in issues to come, if Foreigner wants his ten million back.

Extra Credit

It’s YOUR chance to apply for Threats and Menaces and get a paycheck like Jonah’s.  Pitch your best click bait Marvel universe headline in the comments section!

Final Grade

It’s not that this comic was bad or good as much as it just didn’t motivate me one way or another.  I felt as if there was no real story in it.

C

Your Turn

What grade do YOU give it?

 

What’s Next?

There’s a new game in town, and the ante is QUITE HIGH! Welcome to The Palace, a super-villain casino run by the classic (and under-utilized) Spidey-villain CHANCE! It’s got everything a villain could want, including betting on whether your arch-enemy is going to make it through his or her latest super-battle! Not only will this not sit well with Spidey, but it may just CRUSH him.

 

OK, I’m intrigued!

 

Nick Lowe has asked people to let the Spider office know how they are doing by sending an email to spideyoffice@marvel.com and to make sure you mark it “OK to print”.  If you get published, make sure to draw our attention to it!  Unless you are Chi-Town Spidey.

Yes, my friends, our very own Peter Norbot (AKA Chi-Town Spidey) got his FOURTH letter published.  I’m going to have to write in to complain.

Well, sour grapes aside, I wish to extend felicitations to Chi-Town.

Nice job, Norbot!

Another shout out goes to our fellow Crawlspacer John Simons (from Tulsa!) who got his letter published as well:

 

That’s at least twice now that Lowe as refused to say something about Hobgoblin coming back.  That’s got to mean something!

Good job to both of you and what’s keeping the rest of you?  Get going and send in those letters!

‘Nuff Said!

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18 Comments

  1. This issue deserves more than a mere “C” grade. Jonah was at his best, and the last page was comedy gold.

  2. @Austin – Ah, thanks for the link! I completely missed that back in the ’90s. That’s about the time I started cutting back on comics collecting. I had just gotten married, was broke, and wasn’t enjoying the clone saga. I’ve been trying to fill in the gaps on Marvel Unlimited, but must have missed these.

  3. @Austin: that’s a good catch! It definitely feels like a combination of the Great Game and the Bar With No Name

    @Mark: Thanks for adding me to the post, Mark! That’s awesome, YOU’RE awesome, the CRAWLSPACE is AWESOME.

    Regarding Teresa, I’m with you on her presence dictating the overdrawn story of Zdarsky’s SPEC run, but I always blamed Zdarsky for that more than her character. There’s been some good language for Zdarsky for that run, expecially for the way he handled the Jameson-reveal. But THAT run is, to me, the perfect example of 1) how not to write an ongoing character’s comic and 2) why tighter editing matters.

    A half-decent fan-fiction peddler could have written an interesting story in which Peter unmasked to Jonah, because it was a story about Peter unmasking to Jonah. But to have that moment occur six issues in, preceded and followed by said over-blown S.H.I.E.L.D. story, in which, before that issue, Jonah did not factor into in the slightest, was an artificial way to boost the prestige of that run. It’s not a moment that Zdarsky earned (e.g. like DeMatteis killing off Harry in SPEC#200), but one that he capitalized off of from Slott’s run. *huffhuff*

    Anyways, sorry for the rant. Thanks again, Mark. Viva Crawlspace!

  4. Does anyone get the feeling that this Chance story is just the Great Game for the 90s?

  5. @John Simons – That’s great! I put your letter in the review now. So that’s twice Lowe has said he won’t say anything about Hobgoblin, which I think is a sure-fire clue that Hobgoblin is coming.

    As far as Teresa goes, I can’t put my finger on why I hate her character so much. I think it deals largely with the way she dominated Spectacular Spider-Man and that her presence draws Spidey out of local New York stuff and into larger S.H.I.E.L.D. stuff, which I would rather Spider-Man deal with less rather than more. I should probably give her more of a chance.

  6. Thanks for another great review, Mark.

    Again, I just don’t understand the hatred for Teresa. I don’t “love” her, and think that her biggest offense is that “the sister of Peter Parker” is just kind of a forgettable character. And I agree that she should be shelved until a writer has a more character-defining approach to her. But other than that she’s fine.

    I totally agree with your grade, however, since Peter is definitely a side-character here. And he’s felt like a side-character since the 2099 arc. *sigh* Oh well. Spencer has built up enough good will with me that I’m willing to trust that he’s going some where with it. I just hope it happens soon.

    And, last but not least, there’s another Crawlspacer who got his SECOND letter published in this issue (I’m on your heels, Peter!): your’s truly! I’m the letter after Peter’s, the “John” from “Tulsa, OK”. Super-stoked.

    Viva Crawlspace!

  7. @Chi-Town Spidey – again, I do not know what you are talking about. Demon magic? Plus it is ‘affects’ not ‘effects’ (Sorry, felt like I had to 🙂 ). If you want to win the headline contest, look at Evan’s entry. That’s a quality entry right there.

    I am remiss in this – I should have said, “Yes, you won the bet,” in my first comment. 🙁

  8. @Evan – Well, Attention to Detail is my middle name (quite awkward on my license). Thanks for the well deserved praise! 🙂 I’m going to petition Adam to change Panel of the Day to Wash Tubbs strip of the day. I, of course, put that Fun Fact in just for you.

    As for the extra credit – AWESOME! You’re hired!

  9. @William Sinclair – I’ve never really cared much about Chance, but in this casino setting, I am interested. I was hoping for a little Sin Eater action as well, which might account for my lower than usual grade. I try to grade each issue based on the issue alone and not my expectations or what has come before it, but I cannot always do that. I don’t think Foreigner will give JJJ another thought, but it might be a fin story if he does. I can see the headline – Publisher Defeats International Assassin and Saves Spider-Man!

  10. @ac – Ahh! That makes sense. I just don’t know enough about gambling, I guess. Heck! I can’t even afford a lottery ticket! Yes – one Crawlspace NoPrize coming your way. Should be in your mailbox in about 10-12 business days.

  11. @Mark — There are so many reasons why that Wash Tubbs strip wouldn’t fly today. But enough about that — I know you must have spent most of your review-writing time just putting together that Eightball’s Eleven image, so I just wanted to take a moment to offer my praise for what clearly outdoes even your Absolut Carnage work of previous reviews. I mean, you even put White Rabbit’s head on a gender-appropriate body! Such exquisite attention to detail.

    Extra Credit:
    Is Peter Norbot a secret employee of the Marvel Comics Marketing Department? Here’s how to find out…

  12. I liked this issue, Chance’s return is welcomed, and I thought it used Jonah’s dynamic with Spidey really well, as well as putting Jonah into a new setting which feels so fitting for him in this day and age. I’m looking forward to seeing where all this leads next issue, I wonder if Foreigner is going to have a chip on his shoulder about Jonah, considering he delayed Spidey and lost him the bet. I admit though, I am hoping we’ll get some more Kindred stuff soon, I was hoping for at least a scene or two of him with the Sin-Eater.

  13. Foreigner lost, because he bet the under, meaning he was betting on Spidey to win in under a certain amount of time. Spider-man won the fight, but didn’t do it fast enough.
    Does the Crawlspace have no prizes?
    I agree with the issue being kind of average… this title has been average for a few issues now. I was really into the Kindred stuff, but it’s been 38 issues and Pete hasn’t even met Kindred yet. If we don’t get to it soon it’s going to start to lose me…

  14. I WON THE BET!

    You know buddy,I know a lot of teachers that have pronounced my last name incorrectly, but to spell it incorrectly especially after posting an image that has it’s CORRECT spelling……I’m calling you Alfred from now on.

    I’m giving this one a B+. Close to an A…The Artwork is fantastic and I welcome this kind fluid motion anyday. I might have to have Neil read that panel for a future installment of Panel Readings..HEY, it was YOUR idea.

    A complaint letter to complain about ME being not he letter section more than once? I’m praising the series and even MENTIONED YOU on the second one. You are complaining about that?! They even played along with your theory that it was my fault for the lack of letter section!! YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT?!! I’m gonna write a letter now to Marvel that you just might enjoy..or you may “complain” about it. Who knows?!

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